From: "Jeff Stark" <jstark@nonsensenyc.com>
Subject: nonsensenyc: 9.11 to 9.17
Date: September 11th 2009

Friday, September 11
* The Confidence Man, Manhattan
* I'm on a Boat (and So Can You), Brooklyn * The First NYC Cricket Crawl, Brooklyn * The Bruce High Quality Foundation University, Manhattan * Figment at the New Island Festival, Manhattan * High School Play: Instant Gratification, Williamsburg * NY Gypsy Festival Opening Night: Zlatne Uste and Luminescent Orchestrii, Manhattan * The Promise of New York, Brooklyn
* Circle of Plenty, Williamsburg
* A Trip to Coney Island With Uncle Zero Boy, Manhattan * The Cult of Michael Jackson, Williamsburg * Twin Twin III, Artists Edition, Long Island City * All New Year's Potluck Barbecue, Manhattan * You Are Here, Williamsburg

Saturday, September 12
* The Manhattan Wonderwalk, Manhattan
* Rubulad Presents: Revenge of the Deep Sea Creatures, Brooklyn * The B-Cat and C-Town Variety Show, Brooklyn * Candy Crack Delivery Service, Williamsburg * Rolling Down the Walls, Brooklyn
* Ontological-Hysteric Incubator Back to School Party, Manhattan * The River That Flows Both Ways, Manhattan * Third Annual One-Minute Play Festival, Manhattan * Last Splash Fountain Ride: Summer's Not Dead, Manhattan * Bluegrass Jamboree, Brooklyn
* Art That Rocks, Manhattan
* Halcyon 10 Year Anniversary Party, Manhattan * The Second Annual Coney Island Beard and Moustache Competition, Brooklyn * Le Bal NYC, Manhattan
* Sabertooth Party, Williamsburg

Sunday, September 13
* The Flat Bottoms, Brooklyn
* No Ordinary Monkey, Williamsburg
* BioBus Barbecue, Manhattan
* Poetry Brothel Garden Party, Manhattan * The Flea's Second Annual Superstar DJ Record Fair and Vintage Fashion Bazaar, Brooklyn * Perform Williamsburg, Williamsburg

Monday, September 14
* Seasonal Alchemy, Williamsburg

Thursday, September 17
* Arctic Book Club, Manhattan
* Recession Art Sale, Manhattan
* The Metropolis and Common Life, Manhattan * Medea, Manhattan
* Toward the Sentient City, Manhattan

Ongoing
* Still

Wishlist
* Help with help

Spectre Priority
* Not this week

Learning
* Street tree

Help
* St. John's Bread and Life

NOTE: For some navigation help, or an explanation for what this is all about, scroll all the way down to NONSENSE. You'll find snarky editorial comments and little bits of praise littered throughout this list. These nuggets are marked with all caps, like this: NOTE. Also, we make a lot of mistakes, especially with dates; you should always double check our work. And you can donate to this project at nonsensenyc.com/special.

XXXXX COVER ART XXXXX

Great dam in the distance.

XXXXX FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 11 XXXXX

The Woodshed Collective presents:

The Confidence Man

Herman Melville�s novel the Confidence Man is a colorful tale of a con man aboard a riverboat in the mid-19th century. The story follows the protagonist as he charms and then cheats his fellow passengers. As disarmingly relevant today as it was in the 19th century, the Confidence Man begs the question: in whom may we safely place our confidence?

The Woodshed Collective�s production of The Confidence Man will be composed of a series of interwoven and simultaneously performed vignettes, and will evoke the whirlwind of both a riverboat journey and the everyday urban chaos of New York City. The audience will choose what to see and which character�s story to follow just as one selects which newspaper stories to read, which YouTube videos to screen, or which online links to click. By allowing audience members to immerse themselves in the experience, the production seeks to blur the line between performer and patron, reclaim confidence in the power of live theater, and leave the lingering impression that the audience members themselves may not be immune to the confidence man�s charms or cons.

Aboard the U.S.C.G. Ship Lilac
North Side of Pier 40, at the Hudson River (near the intersection of Houston and West), Manhattan 7, 9:30p; $free
Continues various times and dates through September 26 woodshedcollective.com/productions/the-confidence-man

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

I'm on a Boat (and So Can You)

Come play on a boat with the greatest arts collective in Long Island City. We're taking over a 140-foot, three-story, now-legendary ferry docked deep in industrial Bushwick with two dance floors, a band stage, decorations in collaboration with Rubulad, and tons of fun until sunrise. Don't worry, the boat stays docked all night. This is a fundrager for the construction of Flux Factory�s new space, complete with a gallery, artist-in-residency program, and communal production facilities.

DJs: 2melo, Atom C., Cheryl, Cobra Krames, Eamon Harkin, Justin Carter, Geko Jones, Shred, and Tubby Lamborghini. Bands: Aliens!, Brandstifter Live from the Ironing Board, Les Heures, Manburger Surgical, Miwa Gemini, Nopresha, Panonian Wave, Radio Wonderland, SK Orchestra, White Limo, Womb Sharks, and Zebu.

Performers: Cock Tales, the Committee for the Spacio-Coporeality of Encounter, Computer Spoken Intercourse, Dennis Kyros Magician, Gay KK, L�zaro Valiente, Neverforgettable Memories, Pearl Harbor: Our Weapon is Love, and the Port-A-Potty Deluxe No Standing Anytime Service Station (PPDNSASS).

Uncategorizable: A Boat Invasion by La Collette, Campfire Stories, Color Me Crazy with Last Up Larry, Heather via teleconference, It's Only Temporary, the Kissing Kiosk, light installations by Julius Schmiedel, live screenprinting by Gabe and Jolie and Sara, Minor Treat Baked Goods, projections by Justin Riley, Paris Mancini, and Ted Lee, potentially non-vegetarian popcorn by Annie Reichert, and tarot by Courtney Weber.

Shuttle Meeting Point: Don Pedros
90 Manhattan Avenue, Williamsburg, Brooklyn 9p�6a; $15

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

The First NYC Cricket Crawl

A one night project for anyone interested in crickets and katydids. Help us count crickets and katydids in the New York City area. All you need are good ears, the ability to learn the simple calls of seven species, and a cell phone.

This project is designed so it can be replicated in any city with singing insects. Please feel free to take the idea and recreate it locally. Results and information will be posted back at the site. Contact Sam Droege for further information. For details and instructions go to the Cricket Crawl Website. Rain date: SATURDAY.

To enlarge this study of local crickets and katydids, we are also looking for art, poetry, video and literature on the subject of crickets and katydids to be posted on the Cricket Crawl website.

Various locations
dusk; $free
discoverlife.org/cricket
info@proteusgowanus.com.

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Creative Time presents:

The Bruce High Quality Foundation University

Something�s got to give. The $200,000-debt-model of art education is simply untenable. Further, the education artists are getting for their money is mired in irrelevance, pushing them into critical redundancy on the one hand and professional mediocrity on the other. Blind romanticism and blind professionalism are in a false war alienating artists from their better histories.

At root, it�s a form/content problem. Arts education is divided between the practical problems of form (e.g., money: how to get it, raise it, administer it, and please the powers that control it) and the slippery problems of metaphor (e.g., education: how to learn, what to learn, why to learn).

Artists are the people who spend their time figuring out how best to resolve form and content problems. That�s what we do when we stretch a canvas, edit a video, implement a social space, and develop a history. It is both reasonable and generatively ridiculous to believe that artists ought to be figuring out how arts education should work. This is the premise of BHQFU: that artists can figure this thing out.

BHQFU is: A university, a space for higher education and research, a community of scholars; an expansion of the BHQF practice to include more participants (that's where U come in); and a fuck you to the hegemony of critical solemnity and market-mediocre despair.

Students may not apply to BHQFU -- they are admitted on a rolling schedule based on a system of peer-recommendation. Public programs will be presented alongside the private classes: please see the website (live after the university�s opening) for a full schedule of programs open to the public.

225 West Broadway, third floor, Manhattan 6-10p; $free
thebrucehighqualityfoundation.com/Site/BHQFU.html

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Figment at the New Island Festival

There is a lot happening on Governors Island for the next two weekends, including the New Island Festival. Much of it is Dutch. You owe it to yourself to examine the entire program on the web. Brief notes below.

Not to be left out of the action, Figment will be activating its City of Dreams Sculpture Garden and Mini-Golf Course on Governors Island for the next two weekends with free music, light art and projections, and performance. Also, on Saturday: Musical Masala, and on Sunday, the Space Haus Consortium.

Tonight: Glass Bead Collective project on their inflatable tonight, with a noise tribute to 9/11 from 8-9p, with audio by Josh Slusher and video by Glass Bead Collective/Vlad T, then from 9-11p, Psychodelic History, a live immersive DJ/VJ set in the inflatable, with audio by Dr. Littlefish and video by Vlad T.

Again, check the website for complete details.

Governor's Island
Leave from the Govenor's Island Ferry Building, Manhattan 8-11p; $free
Continues through SUNDAY
newislandfestival.com
figmentnyc.org/newisland
govisland.com/Visit_the_Island/directions.asp

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

HiChristina introduces:

High School Play: Instant Gratification

HiChristina is doing something new. Come both nights, or just one. But who orders a Banana Split and leaves without eating it? Two nights is better. On the first (Friday) create a high school play. On the second (Saturday) perform the play for loved ones and friends.

Everything is made up but these things: 1) a villain with a broken nose; 2) a plot reversal involving an impersonator and sombrero; 3) an imaginary friend (rendered with home-made special effects).

Special guests include: Weasel Mania!, Sharon Stone, and Jack in the Box John! Both nights enjoy a chocolate syrup body licking contest. Yum! (Still looking for volunteers for this.)

HiChristina
632 Grand Street, at Leonard, Williamsburg, Brooklyn 9p-midnight; $10 one night, $15 for both nights Continues SATURDAY
HiChristina.com

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

NY Gypsy Festival Opening Night: Zlatne Uste and Luminescent Orchestrii

The fifth anniversary month of the annual NY Gypsy Festival kicks off tonight with a double header by two bands that have redefined the local gypsy and brass music scene.

Hungarian House
213 East 82nd Street, Manhattan
8p-midnight; $15 advance, $20 at the door balkancafe.nycfolkdance.org/
brownpapertickets.com

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

The Raul Productions presents:

The Promise of New York

The Promise of New York is an award-winning documentary that follows the entertaining antics of three underdogs who try to unseat billionaire mayor Michael Bloomberg during the 2005 New York City election. Screenings followed by Q&A with Director Raul Barcelona and special guests.

Dixon Place
161 Chrystie Street, Manhattan
9p; $10
Continues SATURDAY
718 384 1369
dixonplace.org

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Cinders Gallery Presents:

Circle of Plenty

The relationships we have with the natural world are explored in this group show set in a sumptuous, sculptural overgrown garden. In this diverse body of work that ranges from painting, drawing, installation and sculpture, nature is often encountered by humans in a dream-like state. Fantasies of botanical lovemaking, hallucinogenic visions and human-plant metamorphosis take place while future ideas of a more respected, reciprocal relationship are investigated.

In some pieces, plants have adapted themselves to our world, mirroring our neurosis, growing over our houses, cars, clothes, and waste. We in turn alienate ourselves from the true natural experience and replace our interactions in superficial ways with fake plants, floral patterned objects, and controlled environments. Nature also gets its revenge though-floods sink cities, diseases spread, and other natural catastrophes occur. In an era of so called Green Thinking, this show raises questions about our own personal behavior, desires, and (over) consumption.

With Diane Barcelowsky, Blokis, Kelie Bowman, Monica Canilao, Cristian Elizalde, Maya Hayuk, Allyson Mellberg, Alex Lukas, Kyle Ranson, Suzanne Sattler, Sto, and Jeremy Taylor.

Cinders Gallery
103 Havemeyer Street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn 7-10p; $free
718 388 2311
cindersgallery.com

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

A Trip to Coney Island With Uncle Zero Boy

I began this show as a solo bit with the show Astroland at the Kitchen. I have brought segments of it to many different gigs this year. In New York the response has been overwhelming. I seem to have hit a vein. When I take it out of town I am approached by people after the shows. They have fond memories or have heard of the place and have images from so many sources. In Albuquerque where water is scarce it was great to see the peoples faces when I made reference to the ocean. This show is also kid friendly. Anyone can watch it. In the past that has not always been the case. Hey I am taking my nephew. Whadda ya expect? Yes Coney Island is still there. You can go and enjoy the rides and entertainment, but it is once again going through changes.

Ars Nova
511 West 54th Street, Manhattan
8p; $20
zeroboy.com

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

The Cult of Michael Jackson

The Cult of Michael Jackson announces the opening of its first chapel praising the life and teachings of Michael Jackson in Williamsburg Brooklyn, New York this Friday. Although originally planned around Jackson�s concerts, the group has decided that it will move forward with a celebration that has been in the works since early 2008. In light of recent tragic events, the chapel will be a place for fans to gather, pay their respects, and worship the artistry of Michael Jackson.

The Cult was formed to translate Michael Jackson�s songs and teachings into scripture and spread what they call the Gospel to bring the world together. Leaders of the Cult state that they fully believe that the world would be a better place if everyone took Michael Jackson�s words to heart.

The chapel will open for during September and October as a place for believers to come, meditate and pay homage to the King of Pop. The Cult recently anointed leader Rusel Parish as its leader and official spokesperson. Parish is the world�s preeminent Michael Jackson artist and is creating the spiritual haven. He brings his years of experience and study of working in the image of Michael Jackson through paintings, drawings, and sculpture in building this ultimate shrine.

Figureworks
168 North 6th Street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn 6p; $free
info@cultofmichaeljackson.org
cultofmichaeljackson.org

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Twin Twin III, Artists Edition

The gallery�s first show is the third incarnation of Matt Freedman�s evolving Twin Twin project, which was installed at Vertextlist in 2005 and Pierogi in 2006. So far, the project has consisted of hundreds of everyday objects that, to Freedman, bear ghostly resemblances to the two fallen towers of the World Trade Center. The collection includes everything from modeled objects, to furniture, toys, the grating on an air conditioner and the scar on a boy�s knee.

For this installation Freedman has extended the scope of the experiment and invited artist friends who are familiar with this project and share his complicated relationship with that day to contribute a piece to the collection. In his invitation to the artists he wrote:

I want work repurposed for this show, work that would mean something else in any other context, and only in this one would remind us of 9-11. I�m not asking you to make a piece for the show, but to find a piece for the show from your own body of work. If you find you have produced work in the last eight years that you feel was influenced by 9-11, or if you see in a work of yours the shadowy image of the towers themselves for reasons you cannot fathom at all, I hope you will consider sharing that work with us for the weekend. The response has been great, with, so far, 52 artists participating.

Big & Tall/Casual Gallery
10-20, 45th Road, Long Island City, Queens 5-8p; $free
bigandsmallcasual.net/

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

All New Year's Potluck Barbecue

It may not be New Year's on your calendar, but it is on ours. Please join us (and bring healthy veggie food to share) as we celebrate new beginnings in ABC No Rio's backyard. Part of ABC No Rio's Hanging Out at No Rio project.

ABC No Rio
156 Rivington Street, Manhattan
7-9p; $free
212 254 3697
abcnorio.org

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Trouble presents:

You Are Here

You Are Here (the Maze) is a performance festival in a sculptural maze taking place at Williamsburg's Death By Audio. Emphasizing the sprawling and interconnected nature of New York's underground, a trip through the maze offers a peek inside NYC's DIY art and music scene. A meditation on passage and desire, You Are Here engulfs the space and presents beckoning inhabitants, dead ends, and uplifting epitaphs. Medium and genre vary and overlapping and simultaneous performances are frequent, each performer establishing a different corner or dead end as his or hers. Participating artists in the three-week festival include Calvin Johnson, Skeletons and the Kings of All Cities, Zs, Excepter, Mick Barr, The Coathangers, Knyfe Hyts 81, The Present, Loud Objects, Grooms, Extra Life, Mike Pride, Dan Friel, Ninjasonik, Vaz, Pygmy Shrews, Nine 11 Thesaurus, and many many others.

You Are Here subverts prefab expectations for both audiences and performers -- there is no prescribed order, start time or end time, duration, location of performance, relation of audience to performers, and so on. All of the participating artists have been asked to create something site-specific since the performances will, in fact, take place within the maze. Audiences will be asked only to expect something unusual.

Tonight: The Sian Alice Group, Nine 11, Thesaurus, Experimental Dental School, Reading Rainbow, and Delicious Beverages. Line up changes every night. Check website for complete listing.

Death by Audio
49 South 2nd Street, Brooklyn
8p doors, 9p performances-late every night; $8 includes open bar Friday-Sunday 8-10p Continues through October 2
myspace.com/youareheremaze

XXXXX SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 12 XXXXX

The Secret City presents:

The Manhattan Wonderwalk

The Manhattan Wonderwalk begins at 10am at the northwestern tip of Manhattan (think Cloisters), and ends in the middle of the Brooklyn Bridge at midnight. Along the way there will be informal discussions, a few performances, camaraderie, and the occasional legitimate tour guide. The walk is designed to encourage looking at the Island of Manhattan as an ever-changing work of art.

The Manhattan Wonderwalk is presented by the Secret City, an art service organization that hosts a monthly sanctuary for artists and other conscious, creative people; providing a place to celebrate, cogitate, ruminate and meditate on the nature of art-making and creativity. Part cabaret, part art-church, part salon, each service has a different theme and features live performance, presentation and original work.

The Manhattan Wonderwalk follows a carefully constructed, secret map that is available online. The map will not be revealed until two days before the walk. It is not necessary to walk the entire walk; the map will have locations and times for when the walk will reach each spot -- so anyone who has a map will be able to find the walk at any given point during the day.

Those interested in raising additional money for the Secret City may ask others to pledge them; this will be of special interest to those who think they may want to walk the whole distance (the route is approximately 15 miles long). These people will be referred to as Wonderwalk Superstars.

Check website for location details, Manhattan 10a-midnight; $10
917 757 9878
thesecretcity@gmail.com
thesecretcity.typepad.com/
themanhattanwonderwalk.com

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Rubulad Presents: Revenge of the Deep Sea Creatures

On the Bushwick Boat. With bands: Holmes, Gato Loco, and Baby Soda. DJs: Ursula 1000, Small Change, and DJ Barney Iller and DJ Shakey in a special birthday set. In the Belly of the Beats: ATTN: and Harmony and Whipple.

Plus amazing aerials by Anya Sapozhnikova, luminous sword dancing by Paige, Norm Francoeur�s Light Circus Extraordinaire, Scrumptious Samosas by Colin White, groovy projections, and hot tamales. Dress from the depths of sea monster chic. No walk-ins allowed. You must arrive by shuttle. Do not call cabs to secret location. You will be shuttled back to Grand Street.

Bushwick Boat
Meet at 949 Grand Street Bar for Shuttle, Williamsburg, Brooklyn 10p doors, 11p show; $15 clams in costume, before 11, or way late, 20 otherwise

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

The B-Cat and C-Town Variety Show!

Bushwick's favorite singing aliens are back. These two extra-terrestrial song birds may be far away from home, but that won't stop them from putting on the best variety show the neighborhood has ever seen. Come to see this month's guests:

Murderfist (NYC Sketchfest, ECNY nominee), the Brothers Hines (Upright Citizens Brigade improv), Cocoon (New York's best dance group), Jason Quarles (stand-up, host of the JOY Show), and St. St. (music all the way from Olympia, WA). And as always a dance party with DJ Marrying Everyone afterward.

Petri Space
114 Forrest Street, apartment 4C (buzzer 15 to get in), Bushwick, Brooklyn 9p; $free

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Candy Crack Delivery Service

This is make-believe for adults. Instead of cops and robbers, we play drug dealer and junkie. How would a 6 year-old sell drugs? To find out the answer, call the Candy Crack Delivery Service for a delivery of a 100 percent sugar crack rock (multi-colored and multi-flavored with snow cone syrup) to your Brooklyn house. Expect a 7-foot tall man in a plush, blue fish mascot head, white gloves and a tuxedo to come knocking soon after you call or text for delivery. You can purchase a few candy crack rocks for $1 a pop in a 1 x 1 dime bag. Can't say too much here because y'know it's drugs.

Serving Williamsburg and Greenpoint Only Call or text 347 742 2293 for delivery 10p-2a; $1
clubanimalsnyc.blogspot.com

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Rolling Down the Walls

New York City Anarchist Black Cross hosts the second annual NYC off-shoot of the continental Anarchist Black Cross Federation's Running Down the Walls. The eight-mile bike ride to Fort Tilden beach is to celebrate the end of summer while raising much-needed funds for the ABCF's Warchest program and the New York chapter of the Malcolm X Grassroots Movement.

ABCF Warchest: The Warchest program was created in November of 1994. Funds for the Warchest are divided and distributed through monthly stipends to political prisoners who receive little or no other financial aid. Prisoners use this money to cover the basic necessities of every day living.

The Malcolm X Grassroots Movement is an organization of Afrikans in America/New Afrikans whose mission is to defend the human rights of our people and promote self-determination in our community. We understand that the collective institutions of white-supremacy, patriarchy and capitalism have been at the root of our people's oppression.

Every year, prisoners and supporters of political prisoners organize solidarity runs throughout the US. We encourage people to participate in raising funds for the Warchest, which can be done in the following ways:

Be a Rider: Join us at Grand Army Plaza. Refreshments and beverages will be served at the beach after-party, and we will be riding by the Books Through Bars bake sale at the Park Slope Food Co-op to pick up some treats for the ride. As a participant in the ride, you will also receive a fancy spoke card.

Join us for the After-party: Take public transport to Fort Tilden beach. Walk south along the beach until you see us. We�ll be there from about 6 p.m. until after the sun sets.

Sponsor a Runner (or rider): This can be done through a flat donation to the runner of your choice. We ask from those who wish not to run to actively support those who are running in hopes of collecting as much for our comrades as possible. For details on sponsoring a runner, check the website.

Grand Army Plaza to Fort Tilden Beach
5p�late; $5-15
nycabc riseup net
abcf.net

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Ontological-Hysteric Incubator Back to School Party

As Richard Foreman begins work on Idiot Savant at The Public, The Ontological-Hysteric Theater will open its doors to emerging artists with year-round Incubator programming. With the big year ahead, we thought it appropriate to host a party for these fine artists before buckling down for some hard work.

Don�t be glum about summer ending; you can relish in the excitement of new beginnings -- what used to be triggered by a new lunchbox, new teachers, new shoes. But this time, it�s new art. Guests who get into the school spirit and bring a picture of themselves when they were young and impressionable to hang on the wall receive $5 off admission.

In addition to the wall of collected photos, the party will feature DJs in the theater, and barbecue in the back yard. A preview video will be projected in the theater throughout the evening, composed of clips from the upcoming artists� previous work.

Ontological Theater at St. Mark�s Church 131 East 10th Street, at 2nd Avenue, Manhattan 9p-3a; $15 admission, or $10 if you bring a picture of yourself to hang on the wall ontological.com

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Harmattan Theater Company presents:

The River That Flows Both Ways

On the Hudson River, Walt Whitman and Dante Aligheri converse about life along New York's shoreline. This performance is a historic invocation of Henry Hudson's era of 1609 in 2009.

Riverside Park South
70th Street Pier, Manhattan
4-5 and 5-6p; $free
harmattantheater.com

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Third Annual One-Minute Play Festival

80 plays. 40 writers. Twos days. 1 minute.

Here Arts Center
145 Sixth Avenue, between Spring and Broome, Manhattan 8:30p; $15
Continues SUNDAY
here.org/see/now/autumnartistlodge/

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Times Up:

Last Splash Fountain Ride: Summer's Not Dead

Bike ride. Enjoy the best public watering holes in NYC as we dash and splash from fountain to fountain, jump in and dry off as we ride. Wear your swim trunks.

Start at Hudson River and Christopher Street Fountain, Manhattan 1p; $free
times-up.org

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Bluegrass Jamboree

Workshops and performances all day long. Clawhammer banjo, southern fiddle, slow jam, clogging, and more. Check website for complete details.

Performances begin at 6p: A-Kays, Alan Jabbour, Great Falls Select, White Mountain Bluegrass, Hell�s Kitchen Country, Lightning in the East.

Brooklyn Society for Ethical Culture
53 Prospect Park West, at Second Street, Brooklyn 12:30-10p; $4
bsec.org/112201.html

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Art That Rocks

A symposium of art and music. Live paintings acts by Sprezanne and others. Live music with Berta's Bleu and DJ Qui Ricks. Plus exhibition of featured artists.

Clemente Soto Vez Cultural Center
107 Suffolk Street, Manhattan
8:30p; $4 includes free wine and beer
awhitehead83@yahoo.com

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Halcyon 10 Year Anniversary Party

A day into night celebration filled with music that moves, art that inspires and family-friendly food, fun and games. Music all day by a diverse line-up of NYC DJs: Danny Krivit, the Original DJ Jazzy Jay, John Selway, Nickodemus, Adultnapper, Monk-One, and Liondub.

Food, family, and fun and games all day. Enjoy the artificial sandy beach with panoramic harbor views. Live painting by Tristan Eaton, Eric Orr, and Ellis G. Roving face painters, break dancers, circus performers and costumed curiosities mix it up, presented by Under and Above.

Water Taxi Beach
South Street Seaport
noon-2a; $free noon-3p, $10 door or $5 with RSVP otherwise All ages, 21 with ID to drink
halcyonline.com/blog/10years

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Donny Vomit presents:

The Second Annual Coney Island Beard And Moustache Competition

Brooklyn�s hairiest competition is coming soon. The Second Annual Coney Island Beard And Moustache Competition will be taking place at the Sideshows by the Seashore Theater. In celebration of facial hair of the strange the odd, weird, and bizarre. No stache is too short no beard is too big.

This year will be awarding best natural beard, best styled beard. Best natural moustache, best styled moustache, best in show. New this year is worst in show and best female fake beard or stache.

The festivities will begin at 6p at the Freak Bar with music by banjo virtuoso Curtis Eller. Strait Razor Shaves by Tonsorial Artist Michael W. Haar. Photo registration will also take place for all contestants.

The Variety and Awards show will begin at 8pm featuring New York�s finest talent including Donny Vomit the Gentleman Oddity, Albert Cadabra the Great Deceiver. Special guest performer Jennifer Miller the Bearded Lady will also be in attendance.

Sideshows By The Seashore
At Surf Avenue and West 12th Street, Brooklyn 6p registration and pre-show, 8p variety and awards show; $10 coneyisland.com/

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Le Bal NYC

Crossing the Line 2009 opens with Le Bal NYC, a dance party/picnic in Central Park�s East Meadow. Choreographers from France, including Germaine Acogny, Odile Duboc, Latifa La�bissi, and Olivier Dubois present a fresh new take on the bal populaire, creating short dances to be taught section by section to the public.

Simultaneously, Omnivore New York, a brigade of innovative master chefs from both France and New York, reinvent the idea of the picnic. Samples of Crossing the Line Bento Boxes will be available, bringing together individual elements by Inaki Aizpitarte, Pascal Barbot, Alexandre Gauthier, Michel Bras, David Chang, and Wylie Dufresne. Bring your own picnic, and join us for this free, family-friendly celebration in the park.

Central Park�s East Meadow
Near Fifth Avenue and 99th Street, Manhattan 2�6p; $free
fiaf.org/events/fall2009/2009-09-12-ctl-park.shtml

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Sabertooth Party

A six-hour musical and performance onslaught, featuring live bands Michelle Amador, Manawi Thorn, Himalaya, Anima Anonima, and Architek. Trapeze performances by Lollo Birgitta. Late-night DJ Frankie Teardrop.

Public Assembly
70 North 6th Street, Brooklyn
10p; $7

XXXXX SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 13 XXXXX

The Flat Bottoms

PortSide is happy to report the arrival of the historic Dutch flat bottom fleet to American shores, and an opportunity to great their arrival at Brooklyn's own historic Atlantic Basin.

The Flat Bottoms are a fleet of historic Dutch vessels, visiting the region on the occasion of the Hudson Quadricentennial -- the 400th anniversary of Henry Hudson's discovery of our area. The Dutch Flat Bottoms are too small and fragile -- some of them are over 100 years old -- to have sailed across the Atlantic; they have been shipped across the ocean on a freighter. We will never see such vessels here again in our lifetime. The fleet also includes some modern recreations of historic vessels and the whimsical Musikboot.

For an advance preview of the fleet, see their website and write-ups on the noted waterfront blog Tugster. Today: Meet the fleet and greet the crew. See the boats enter Atlantic Basin, dock and raise their ceremonial flags.

South end of Pier 11, Atlantic Basin, Brooklyn Cruise Terminal (enter at Pioneer and Conover streets), Brooklyn 5-7p; $free
portsidenewyork.org/Red Hook.htm

***** Also on SUNDAY *****

No Ordinary Monkey

Outdoor dance party in Grand Street Park. Food by La Superior. See the summer out in style.

Grand Street and East River, Williamsburg, Brooklyn 2p-9p; $free

***** Also on SUNDAY *****

BioBus Barbecue

The BioBus is a high-tech laboratory on wheels, boasting an array of scientific equipment housed in a retrofitted 1974 San Franscisco transit bus. Operated by our professional staff and volunteer Ph.D. scientists, the BioBus currently reaches over 10,000 students through visits to schools across New York City. We are a publicly funded non-profit organization supported by grants, donations, and community support.

The school year is starting, summer is coming to an end, and its time to join us for the first annual back-to-school BioBus barbecue. This is our very first fundraising event, and we�re excited for a day full of fun for kids and adults alike.

We converge on the only beach on the East Side of Manhattan for Soul on a Roll (pulled pork or tofu sandwiches featuring fat back daddy barbecue sauce), Cornbread au Natural, a Sin Bar (beer, wine, ice cream and Brownies), plus kosher hot dogs, and other tasty goodies. The day will also feature live entertainment from Just Puppets, the Hungry Hands, and Jason and Rachel Trachtenberg, as well as educational activities on board the BioBus.

Solar 1
Stuyvesant Cove Park, 23rd Street and the East River, Manhattan 2-5p; $20 advance, $25 door, $15 students bbq@biobus.org
biobus.org/bbq

***** Also on SUNDAY *****

Poetry Brothel Garden Party

The denizens of the Poetry Brothel are returning from a summer of passion the likes of which we haven't seen in a century, and, of course, we've been writing. You, the citizens of New York City, are invited to find us basking on the sunny slopes of Central Park's highest point, Summit Rock. Our poets will be astride red blankets with plenty of room for anyone willing to have their ears and the hearts filled with the sounds of poetry as our summertime gift, free of charge all afternoon.

Central Park, Summit Rock
West 83rd Street, enter at West 81st Street, Manhattan 2-6p; $free
347 260 2847
info@thepoetrybrothel.com
thepoetrybrothel.com

***** Also on SUNDAY *****

The Flea's Second Annual Superstar DJ Record Fair and Vintage Fashion Bazaar

This special one-day-only event will be held at the Archway under the Manhattan Bridge, a stunning new public space in DUMBO, and in the adjacent Pearl St. Triangle plaza. The event will feature about 30 record vendors under the Archway and 15 vintage clothing/accessories/jewelry dealers in the Triangle. Plus a few special Flea treats of course.

Top Record Fair vendors include DFA Records, DJ Rekha, Def Jux Records, Other Music employees Bert Q and Mikey Jones, former Ave. A shop Etherea, music journalists Andrew Parks (Self-Titled), Doug Mosurock (Dusted), and Piotr Orlov (NY Times), DJs db, Dara, Ulysses, Selway, McBoing Boing, and of course the Flea's top weekly record dealers.

Fashion vendors include Vintage Loft NYC, I Heart NYC (former Nolita vintage boutique), Estate of Art Vintage Lifestyle, and Treasures + Pleasures (top vintage jewelry and handbags). The popular Record Fair game will be back, where every vendor can DJ on our sound system for 20 minutes, with every record they play for sale on the spot.

Archway under the Manhattan Bridge, Brooklyn 11a-6p; $free
edemby@gmail.com

***** Also on SUNDAY *****

Urban Art Projects presents the premiere edition:

Perform Williamsburg

A multi-disciplinary festival celebrating alternative performing arts in New York. In advance of this year's performance art biennial, Performa, Williamsburg-based Urban Art Projects (UAP) will host a day of performances by urban poets, emerging artists from Brooklyn, established New York performers, and an outstanding roster of international artists. Perform Williamsburg will commence in the beautiful setting of the East River State Park, overlooking the East RIver, Manhattan, and the burgeoning Williamsburg waterfront skyline. Later in the day, the festival will move into the nearby UAP gallery for more performances and a one-hour video program, featuring work by performance artists.

Featuring work by: Urban Voices United (D-Black, D-Cross, Jamica, and Narubi Selah), Marthe Ramm Fortun, Lydia Bell, Amelia Saul, Genevieve White, Jason Martin, Karen Azouley, Andras Borocz, Damaris Drummond, Amelia Winger-Bearskin, Monika Weiss, Jennie Hagevik Bringaker, Nadja Verena Marcin, and Amber Hawk Swanson.

East River State Park
Kent Avenue and North 8th Street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn 1-5p live performances; $free

Urban Art Projects
136 Wythe Avenue, between North 8th and 9th streets, Williamsburg, Brooklyn 6-9p; $free
uaprojects.org

XXXXX MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 14 XXXXX

Seasonal Alchemy

I'm new to the area and suprisingly ended up, through a series of random occurrences, putting together a show at Public Assembly. It will be populated by unsigned acts (and friends) largely drawn from my recent alma mater, Vassar, who all rock in their own delightful ways, as well as some non-musical happenings. We're fronting a house fee (ha!) to make it free, and basically just hoping to make for a superfun time.

With Facsimiles, Spaces, Built By Animals, the Powder Kegs, Da Pantz, and DJ Facts. Plus pin-the-horn-on-the-unicorn, Paris Treantafales doing visuals, photo projections by Noah Fowler, background movies from local artists, a massive collective crayon mural. It's a Monday night of joy and dance and weird for free, what is not to like?

Public Assembly
70 North 6th Street, between Kent and Wythe, Williamsburg, Brooklyn 8p-1a; $free
publicassemblynyc.com/events/view/1172
sendspace.com/file/35te4o

XXXXX THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 17 XXXXX

Arctic Book Club

A collaboration between Flux Factory and EFA Project Space, and the result of a group of artists' process-based responses to the book, An African in Greenland.

T�t� Michel Kpomassie's book, An African in Greenland, is the account of the author's unique journey from his native Togo to Greenland. As a young man living in Africa, Kpomassie happened across a book about Greenland. Fascinated with the distant Arctic island, he embarked on a ten-year journey across Africa and Europe, working as a translator, and eventually able to complete his odyssey and live in Greenland.

A cross-disciplinary group of artists was assembled to respond to Kpomassie's book, meeting regularly in the form of a book club. Upon completion of the book, the artists were then tasked to create new work inspired by Kpomassie's narrative and the resulting discussions.

With artists: Amber Cortes, Jenelle Covino, the Green and Bold Co�perative, Katerina Lanfranco, Fabienne Lasserre, Valerie Piraino, Greg Pond, Annie Reichert, Julian Rogers, Ranbir Sidhu, and Christopher Ulivo.

EFA Project Space
323 West 39th Street, second floor, Manhattan 6-8p opening; $free
Continues through October 24
projectspace@efa1.org
efa1.org

***** Also on THURSDAY *****

Recession Art Sale

In a 5,500 square foot gallery space, 30 artists and 30 out-of-work professionals will participate in Recession Art Sale, an art and commerce event. The objective is to create income, comment on current shifts in the market economy, and foster a sense of community amongst artists, sellers, and buyers. Unemployed individuals affected by the current economic recession will be engaged as sellers to market the works on exhibit.

Hosting the event is Anita Durst's nonprofit arts organization, Chashama, which has worked successfully with conceptual artist and Executive Producer of Recession Art Sale, Elanit Kayne. A multi-channel outreach to sellers was conducted through the use of print and online advertising, job opportunity sites, and social media in order to attract an eclectic group of qualified applicants. While some sellers have a background in the arts (a former employee of the Whitney Museum, Art History graduates), other qualified sellers include former IT workers and teachers and will receive art consultation training. Positions are still available.

Artists will include: Noah Baen, Matthew Beall, Gene de Bartolo, Michele Brody, Gulsen Calik, Peter Ciccariello, Thom Corn, Carla Cubit, Michelle Droll, Ektarina Existart, Karen Gunderson, Janusz Jaworski, Elanit Kayne, KK Kozik, Lorenzo Pace, Gila Paris, Susu Pianchupattana, Yulia Pinkusevich, Thaddeus Radell, Robin Ross, Rafael Rodriguez, Barnaby Ruhe, Charles Seplowin, Frank Shifreen, and Tiffany Sum.

679 3rd Avenue, at 43rd Street, Manhattan 6-9p opening; $free
Continues through October 9
recessionartsale.com/
cultureinside.com

***** Also on THURSDAY *****

The Metropolis and Common Life

Michael Hardt and Neil Smith in dialogue on the themes of Commonwealth, Hardt and Negri's newest book.

When Empire appeared in 2000, it defined the political and economic challenges of the era of globalization and, thrillingly, found in them possibilities for new and more democratic forms of social organization. Now, with Commonwealth, Michael Hardt and Antonio Negri conclude the trilogy begun with Empire and continued in Multitude, proposing an ethics of freedom for living in our common world and articulating a possible constitution for our common wealth.

Drawing on scenarios from around the globe and elucidating the themes that unite them, Hardt and Negri focus on the logic of institutions and the models of governance adequate to our understanding of a global commonwealth. They argue for the idea of the common to replace the opposition of private and public and the politics predicated on that opposition. Ultimately, they articulate the theoretical bases for what they call governing the revolution.

Michael Hardt will be in dialogue with Neil Smith, renowned critical geographer, about the social relations of the metropolis as they function as the site for the production of common life, the site of hierarchy and exploitation, and the site of antagonism and revolt. Sponsored by This Is Forever event and discussion series and Bluestockings Bookstore.

Abrons Arts Center, Henry Street Settlement 466 Grand Street, at Pitt Street, Manhattan 7p; $free
malavbluestockingscom
thisisforever.org/commonwealth

***** Also on THURSDAY *****

Medea

Medea at Le Petit Versailles is a cross-culturally cast production of a modern, poetic new translation of the classic Greek play. The production is a site-specific collaboration by local artists from a variety of fields, including dance, visual arts, film, theatre, and experimental music.

The audience steps from Houston Street into another world where the action occurs all around and among them. At first glance it may appear that Euripides in 431 BC had little to say to us about our sophisticated modern age; but when investigating deeper into our own lives, we find his haunting tale hits closer to home than we might like to admit. Exile, gender roles, submission to power and familial obligations are timeless themes we continue to play out and gain particular insight into when returning to the ancient Greeks.

Le Petit Versailles garden
346 East Houston Street, Manhattan
8p;
Continues THURSDAY through SATURDAY September 26 212 529 8815
petitversailles@earthlink.net
lpvtv.blogspot.com

***** Also on THURSDAY *****

Toward the Sentient City

An exhibition critically exploring the evolving relationship between ubiquitous computing, architecture, and urban space.

As computing leaves the desktop and spills out onto the sidewalks, streets, and public spaces of the world around us, we increasingly find information processing capacity embedded within and distributed throughout the material fabric of everyday urban space. Artifacts and systems we interact with on a daily basis collect, store, and process information about us, or are activated by our movements and transactions. Ubiquitous computing evangelists herald a coming age of urban infrastructure capable of sensing and responding to the events and activities transpiring around them. Imbued with the capacity to remember, correlate and anticipate, this near-future sentient city is envisioned as being capable of reflexively monitoring its environment and our behavior within it, becoming an active agent in the organization of everyday life in urban public space.

Toward the Sentient City explores alternate trajectories for the design and inhabitation of this near-future urban environment.

The Urban Center
457 Madison Avenue, Manhattan
6�9p; $free
archleague.org
sentientcity.net

XXXXX UPCOMING XXXXX

• Conflux, September 17-20
• Williamsburg Fashion Weekend, September 18 and 19
• DUMBO Art Under the Bridge Festival, September 25-27
• NYC Decom, October 17

XXXXX ONGOING XXXXX

• Better Rock Shows. Nonsense does not straight list rock shows in New York unless they occur in tandem with puppet shows or jump rope tournaments or in subway tunnels or in graveyards. For listings of good shows, especially shows that feature independent bands at quality venues like Death by Audio and those booked by hard-working promoters like Todd P or Sleep When Dead, consult resources like ohmyrockness.com, brooklynvegan.com/, sleepwhendeadnyc.com/calendar/, or the lively New York Happenings listserve on Yahoo groups launch.groups.yahoo.com/group/nyhappenings/. For the most exhaustive list of underground shows at unusual venues, track down a copy of the extremely useful -- and handsome -- Showpaper.

***** ONGOING: FRIDAYS *****

• Burlesque at the Beach. September 11: Miss Coney Island Presents: "Gal Friday's Boozers And Brawlers": Burlesque For Miscreants! 10p; $15. Sideshows by the Seashore, corner of Surf Avenue and West 12th Street, Brooklyn. coneyisland.com/
• Manhattan Critical Mass. Union Square, 17th Street and Broadway, Manhattan. Last FRIDAY of the month. 7p; $free.
• Brooklyn Critical Mass. Grand Army Plaza entrance to Prospect Park, Brooklyn. Second FRIDAY of the month. 7p; $free.

***** ONGOING: SATURDAYS *****

• Floating Cabaret. Trapeze, burlesque, song, dance. Hosted by Olga and Bjorn. Galapagos Art Space, 16 Main Street, Brooklyn. 10p doors, $10. 718 222 8500. galapagosartspace.com.
• Coney Island Film Society. September 12: Night of the Living Dead. 8:30p; $3-5, free popcorn. Sideshows by the Seashore, corner of Surf Avenue and West 12th Street, Brooklyn. coneyisland.com/
• Night Kayaking Tours, Manhattan and Brooklyn. Explore: Coney Island submarine, creepy Governors Island, gross Gowanus Canal, and money-making Manhattan. Website: http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=ddrw24x5_167dxdpf3d9
• Rock and Roll 101. Watch music documentaries projected on the wall. St. Jerome's, 155 Rivington, between Clinton and Suffolk, Manhattan. 4-9p; $free.
• Barefoot Boogie: No shooze no booze. The Boogie is a not-for-profit alcohol-free event that happens every second and fourth SATURDAY of the month. Insight Meditation Center, 28 West 27th Street, 10th floor, buzzer No. 27. 8:30p-12:30a. barefootboogie.org

***** ONGOING: SUNDAYS *****

• Coney Island Ask the Experts. September 6: Marci Reaven: A Conversation About Place Matters. 4p; $5. Coney Island Museum, 1208 Surf Avenue, Brooklyn. coneyisland.com
• CrazyTown / Locoville. Odd open mike hosted by Steph Sabelli. Weirdoes welcome and encouraged. Under St. Marks Theater, 94 St. Marks, at First Avenue, Manhattan. 9p sign up-1a; $free.
• Grub. A cheap, simple dinner for strangers and co-conspirators. Rubulad home base, 338 Flushing, at Classon, Brooklyn. G train to Flushing or Classon stations, J,M,Z to Marcy, B61 bus to Flushing. First and third SUNDAYS, 6:30p doors, 7p dinner; $pay what you want, and bring your own booze. suckapants.com/grub.html
• Church of Craft, group crafting. Etsy Labs, 325 Gold Street, third floor, Brooklyn. 2-6p; $free. churchofcraft.org/
• NYC Bike Polo. No experience needed. We'll show you how to play. We have mallets and balls; bring your bicycle. 1:30-5p-ish (or later if it's really nice out); $free. Sara D. Roosevelt Park, Broome between Chrystie and Forsyth, Manhattan. groups.myspace.com/NYCBIKEPOLO

***** ONGOING: MONDAYS *****

• Glasslands Gallery Game Night. All ages, free sangria 8-8:30p, live music, and bingo. The Glasslands Gallery, 289 Kent Avenue, between South 1st and 2nd streets, Williamsburg, Brooklyn. 8p; $free. glasslands.blogspot.com/ and myspace.com/theglasslands
• Free movie screenings. Double feature, with free popcorn. The Lovin Cup, 93 N. 6th Street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn. 9p; $free. myspace.com/movienightqueen
• Aerial Open Work Out. Come play in 29 feet of vertical fun. Use our silks, lyras, and trapezes, or rig your own. 8-10p; $15, Sky Box, 342 Maujer Street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn, L train to Grand Street. 585 507 1770. RSVP to skybox.info@gmail.com
• Williamsburg Spelling Bee, compete for bar tab at a real adult spelling bee, every other MONDAY, 7:30p; free, Pete's Candy Store, 709 Lorimer St., Williamsburg, Brooklyn. petescandystore.com
• The Big Quiz Thing. NYC's live trivia spectacular. Crash Mansion, 199 Bowery, at Spring, Manhattan. Two Mondays a month. 7p doors; $7, $200 grand prize.
• Show and Tell. Each performer gets seven minutes. Writing contest and Beer Walk for free beer. Hosted by the O'Debra Twins. Bowery Poetry Club, 308 Bowery, Manhattan. MONDAYS 10p; $3. Monday, January 31: The heavy and strange Thank You For Not Screaming open.

***** ONGOING: WEDNESDAYS *****

• Drink N Draw. Art. Nudity. Beer. We provide the beer and the model, you bring your drawing tools of choice. 3rd Ward, 195 Morgan, Brooklyn. Second and fourth WEDNESDAYS 8-10.30p; $15, or $20 for two. afenton3rdward.com, 3rdward.com/.

***** ONGOING: THURSDAYS *****

• The Lower East Side Community Choir, a non-auditioned choir that believes that everyone can sing and that singing together in harmony with others is essential for personal and community health and vitality. Our repertoire is eclectic. If you love a cappella music and want to be able to join a drop-in gathering of like minded people, then this is for you. Lower East Side Girls Club, 56 East 1st Street, Manhattan. 7-9p; $donations. ubuntuchoirs.net/locator_United_States.php
• Private Ear Audio Theatre: Radio Plays. 8:30p; $?. Brooklyn Lyceum. privateear.org
• $mall �hange and House of Yes present: No Parking on the Dancefloor. Next party: July 30. A party bringing it back to dancing. Basically we do not have any kind of dogma or judgment. Do what feels comfortable to you and be respectful to those around ya, that's basically all we ask. Different DJs every time. House of Yes, 342 Maujer, near Morgan, Brooklyn. Every third THURSDAY, 9ish-midnightish (starts/ends early); $5-10 suggested donation. NOTE: This event is every third Thursday, not every Thursday. Also, sometimes they cancel the event for some reason or another. You should check first: smallchange666@gmail.com
• Carmine Street Jugglers. All levels welcome to practice juggling and related arts. 7:30-9:45p. Club is free, but building requires NYC Parks and Recreation membership ($0-$75 per year). http://jugglenyc.com/clubs.html
• Rocky Sullivan's Pub Quiz, with Quizmaster Scott M.X. Turner. 8:30p; $free admission, potable prizes. Rocky Sulivan's, 34 Van Dyke Street, Brooklyn. rockysullivans.com/quiz.html

XXXXX WISHLIST XXXXX

What have you been wishing for? Collaborators, grant monies, a new home? Please send brief listings to Alita at alitanonsensenyc.com. We only list available apartments, lofts, studios, and one-off rentals -- not spaces wanted.

***** ARTY STUFF *****

• Nonsense NYC needs someone to step in for the irreplaceable Joanie Schaffer. For the last three years or so, Joanie has edited the Help section of Nonsense, and for a time she put out both Help and Learning. She's great. It's time, however, for her to move on, and we now find ourselves needing someone else who can do the job. And by job we mean the nearly thankless weekly duty of editing the section. If you're interested in helping others help people, and you love email and detail work, we have the perfect position for you. Very, very little pay. Glory delivered weekly. Email jstark@nonsensenyc.com.
• Swimming Cities: Ocean of Blood is looking for collaborators from the South Asian arts community. Musicians, performers, visual artists, and artisans -- join us on an ambitious project taking place on the Ganges in Spring 2010. Contact ryanoconnor9(at)hotmail.com.
• Join the Lower East Side Community Choir / Kirtan / Toning Experiment / Experiential Reverberation /Voicestra-ish. Welcoming all, from beginners to seasoned singers in a spirited singing community. No auditions, and music is taught in the oral tradition. All that is required is a desire to sing in harmony. Did I mention that you will leave feeling like a bell that has been struck! Our repertoire includes a rich variety of songs and chants from many different cultures and singing. Where: 56 East 1st Street. When: Our first 8 week fall session will run from Tuesday, September 15 through Tuesday November 3, from 7:15 to 8:45pm. Choir fees for the 8 week sessions are $60 with a sliding scale for seniors/students/unemployed. $10 for drop-ins after September 22. Full or partial scholarships are available as well as payment plans. No one misses choir because of money. Try us out for the first two Tuesdays -- if you decide not to join, there is no charge. Contact Lynn Anderson for more information: (772) 539-2070. see: communitychoir.net, ubuntuchoirs.net.
• Actions with the Yes Men, September 17-22: If you want to wear ridiculous costumes, shoot video, help dress, kayak please email me, Larken, at Larken(at)artevolve.org with the dates you are available, your phone number, desired role. Dates include September 17-22. Experienced sewers who know how to use a machine and want to help construct: email your availability to kaeburke(at)gmail.com. Or meet any Thursday night between 5-8p at 3rd Ward, at 195 Morgan Avenue. Bring a bike if you have one, I will plug you in to tons of ways that you can help reduce global warming, get involved in arts and activism in your community through the Yes Men, House of Yes, and Band of Bicycles.

***** SPACES *****

• Spacious live/work loft sublet for October 10- November 4. $800 with utilities included. I am subletting my room in an awesome industrial building near the Brooklyn Navy Yard on Flushing Ave in Brooklyn, with views of Manhattan and the rooftops of downtown Brooklyn from the windows on two sides. Also huge roof with 360 degree views. Giant airy light-filled space with huge kitchen and bathroom, really your quintessential NYC loft. The room for sublet has a sleeping loft and a huge six-foot-high window with amazing views of the sunset over the city, afternoon sun, with a large work desk. Room is medium sized, 7 by 12, with 13 foot high ceilings. Lots of room to move around under the lofted bed. No closet, sorry. You will share the space with two quiet guys in their twenties. One is a freelance architect and the other works for art grant-writing organization and isn't around much. FYIs: It's a four-floor walkup, no trains nearby but lots of buses that go directly to the F, L, G, A, C, M, R, 4, 5 trains within 10-15 minutes. Great location for cyclists. Please email robotronik(at)yahoo.com.
• Available November 1: Share a two-bedroom railroad apartment in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Southside near Bedford Avenue L and JMZ at Marcy. Unbeatable location, around the corner from Grand Street's pocket park, tasty/not spendy restaurants and bars, Oslo coffee, a few blocks from the Metropolitan Pool/ghetto gym. It's a quiet, small/medium-sized back bedroom with a closet, which overlooks a leafy backyard. The rent is $675 and utilities run about $60 per month including wifi and cable. The place is affordable, but it's an old building that requires lots of care and upkeep from us -- not the landlord -- so handy proactive people who can use a drill and who don't panic when the ceiling leaks are preferred. I'm a late-20s accessories designer, I currently have a separate studio, but also do some work from home/keep some materials in the living room. I have a lot of clutter, two cats, and a very elderly small dog. It's perfect if you like sweet loving pets, but not the care and responsibility for them, though I may ask you to help out with a quick feeding or walk once in a while. My ideal roommate is not allergic, a non-smoker, works outside of the home, and cleans shared spaces, buys shared house supplies etc. without needing to be asked. I like to cook and share meals if our schedules work out that way, I cook 90 percent veggie but on occasion will cook meat (for the dog mostly!) I will be traveling quite a bit in Jan-May or June next year, and subletting my room, so I need someone with a stable situation who can commit to at least a six or eight-month period while I am away. Our building is only three apartments and we are all friends, which is awesome. We share bike parking. We have a tiny porch with herbs. Life is good here. We share wifi and full cable with a Tivo, though I try to only turn on the TV a few times a week at most (Mad Men) and hope you'd do the same. Please get in touch and tell me a bit about yourself. Contact Alita, alita@nonsensenyc.com

XXXXX SPECTRE PRIORITY XXXXX

Before we had a name, the Spectre Event Horizon Group used to meet at a bar to commiserate about the news and trade what our business friends call best practices. The group has expanded since then, but it remains premised on smartening the crowd mind. There are no subject limits; our favorite is our sci-fi present, and we like anything that goes toward a better understanding of human behavior and ecology. Our basic idea is to connect minds with mind-blowing information and create a space for the informal trade of specialized investigative research, presented for the non-specialist.

The Spectre email list, which is a separate group from this column, is a moderated open forum. People are encouraged to join and to post. This section is compiled for Nonsense by J. Sinopoli. Contact us at spectre.event.horizon.groupgmail.com or spectregroup.org.

XXXXX LEARNING XXXXX

We look for the sort of classes you circled in college course catalogs but never managed to fit into your schedule. And we also look for the kind of things that no college could teach. Cheap and eclectic is the rule, though all rules get broken occasionally, and we especially love workshops, round-tables, and teachers who won't take your work out of your hands and show you how to do it right. One-time listings are categorized, with general recurring classes at the end. We thrive on your suggestions, so make sure to tell us about upcoming classes that you think are nifty-keen.

Learning is compiled and edited weekly by Libby Sentz. Send listings, announcements, and corrections to her at libbysentz(at)me.com.

***** LEARNING: FRIDAY *****

The Mission of Art Weekend Workshop

Workshop leaders Alex and Allyson Grey believe the mission of the artist is to make the soul perceptible. Over the weekend, they'll lead an exploration of the role of an artist�s intention and conscience, and help you to draw on the creative process as a spiritual path. Expect a mixture of visioning, art making, slide talks, meditation, movement, and discussion based on required and recommended reading prior to the class, including The Mission of Art, and Art psalms. Call for info on housing and travel.

CoSM
46 Deer Hill Road
Wappingers Falls, New York
Friday, 7-10p; Saturday 10a-10p; Sunday 10a-1p; $225 includes lunch and dinner 845-297-2323
workshops(at)cosm.org
cosm.org

***** LEARNING: Also on FRIDAY *****

Playing and Presence: A Physical Approach to Acting and Performing

This two-hour workshop led by Michael Bartelle is for performers of all types -- actors, aerialists, singers, dancers. Uncover your child-like sense of wonder and infuse your approach to performance with openness, spontaneity, and adventure. Bring a memorized piece of text, about one minute in length. Even some Shakespeare or song lyrics will do.

House of Yes
342 Maujer Street, Brooklyn
7-9p; $20
houseofyes.org

***** LEARNING: SATURDAY *****

FashionCampNY

This two-day open conference aims to bring together the mainstream fashion community, the indie fashion community, and the next wave of wearable technologists and tech gurus for workshops, presentations, and collaboration. Learn how the fashion industry works, what it takes to start a label, how to use social media in fashion, how wearable technology will shape the runway of tomorrow, and more. The event doesn�t cost any money, but there is a price: All attendees must give a demo, a session, or help with one. Visit ideas.fashioncamp.org to suggest a session, see what others are presenting, or get inspired to present something yourself.

Interactive Telecommunications Program Lab Space at New York University 721 Broadway, Fourth Floor, Manhattan
9a-?, continues Sunday; $free
ideas.fashioncamp.org
fashioncampny.eventbrite.com

***** LEARNING: SUNDAY *****

Celebrate Brazil: Dance and Drum Workshop and Parade

This full-day workshop leads up to a parade celebrating Brazil's independence. It includes samba in platform heels with Quenia 11a-noon; samba drumming Nick Birmelin noon-1:30p; Maculel� with Tiba 2:30-4p; samba reggae or samba da bahia with Quenia or advanced beginner capoeira with Tiba 4p-5:30p; parade prep, dress up, and warm up 5:30-6p; and a Bloco Ribeiro Parade across 55th Street at 6p. Classes are also available separately, for those who can't make the entire workshop.

The Ailey Extension
405 West 55th Street, Manhattan
11a-6p, plus parade; $75 for full workshop alvinailey.org/page.php?p=arti&v=560

***** LEARNING: WEDNESDAY *****

Guerilla Tape Installation Workshop

Following an exploration of the history of tape, its role in various art and fashion movements, and a survey of tape installation artists, participants will create a variety of individual and collaborative tape installations on 3rd Ward's premises and beyond. Over three sessions, participants will collaborate on smaller tape artworks, designing tape carpets and window frames, and creating "tape interventions" in and around the premises at 3rd Ward. The class will culminate with a large guerrilla tape installation in an outdoor location. Mention Nonsense NYC when you register (deadline September 11) for a 10% discount on this class.

3rd Ward
195 Morgan Avenue, Brooklyn
September 16, 23, and 30
7-10p; $120 (members), $150 (nonmembers) $15 materials fee
3rdward.com/calendar

***** LEARNING: THURSDAY *****

Street Tree Care

Street trees do much to improve our environment, but they often receive little care. In this class led by Karla Osorio-P�rez, you'll learn the benefits of street trees and how to improve the health of a street tree by caring for its bed. Get tips on amending soil, mulching, watering, pruning, and tree-bed gardening. Bring your street-tree care questions and find out more about the city's efforts to increase and protect the urban forest canopy. Registration required.

Brooklyn Botanic Garden
900 Washington Avenue, Brooklyn
6�8p; $free
718-623-7220
bbg.org/edu/adult/community.html

***** LEARNING: UPCOMING *****

• Art and tech workshops at the Conflux 2009 festival at NYU Steinhardt�s Barney Building. September 17-20; confluxfestival.org/2009/schedule
• Horizons Perspectives on Psychedelics, a weekend forum about psychedelics, hosted by Judson Memorial Church. September 25-27; horizonsnyc.org

***** LEARNING: ONGOING *****

• African dance with Sandella at the Booker T. Washington Middle School gym, 103 West 108th Street. Manhattan. Fridays 6:30-8p; $free. 212-942-3566. (The class airs on Time Warner channel 56 Wednesdays at 2p.)
• Sunset qigong overlooking the Hudson and the Palisades at Fort Tryon Park (enter at Fort Washington Avenue, walk north along the promenade, up steps to Linden Terrace). Manhattan. Mondays (through September 14) 6:30-7:30p; $free. nycparks.org/parks/forttryonpark/
• Kripalu Yoga at Socrates Sculpture Park, 3201 Vernon Boulevard. Long Island City. Saturdays (throught September 19) 9:30-10:30a and 11a-noon; free. socratessculpturepark.org/programs/fitness.php
• Open tai chi at Bryant Park's Fountain Terrace, 42nd Street and 6th Avenue. Manhattan. Tuesdays and Thursdays rain or shine (through October 8) 7:30-8:30a; $free. bryantpark.org
• Self-defense at St. Mark's Church. Manhattan. Wednesdays 7:30-8:30p; $free. mkdkarate.com/classes.html
• Kayaking on the Hudson River. Slots are 20 minutes, but kayakers may go more than once. Manhattan. Weather permitting, Saturdays and Sundays (through October 11) 10a-5p; $free. nycgovparks.org/parks/riversideparksouth/events/166151
• Canoeing and kayaking in Hallets Cove. Socrates Sculpture Park, Long Island City. Weather permitting, Sundays (through October 25) 1p; $free. licboathouse.org
• Power vinyasa with Hosh Yoga in McCarren Park. Manhattan. Saturdays 3p; $donation. hoshyoga.org/schedule.html
• Trampoline at Streb Lab for Action Mechanics. Brooklyn. Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays 7-8:30p; $25. streb.org/V2/school/adults.html
• Balkan folk dance at the Hungarian House. Manhattan. Wednesdays 6:30-8p; $12. nycfolkdance.org
• Bujinkan Budo Taijutsu at Triskelion Arts. Brooklyn. Training is centered on jissen gata combat fighting. Membership is selective, but you may attend the first class without paying dues. Saturdays 5-7p, Sundays 2�4p. triskelionarts.org/events.htm#classesoffered
• Group tightwire walking and foot juggling workshop at Trapeze Loft. Williamsburg. Sundays 5-6p; $25. thetrapezeloft.com
• Capoeira, a Brazilian martial art and dance, with Capoeira Angola Quintal. Manhattan. Various days; $15. afrobrazilarts.org/newyorkcapoeira/index.htm
• Co-ed nonsexual naked yoga. Manhattan. Various days; $?. groups.yahoo.com/group/coyoga/
• Parkour workshops. Manhattan. Sundays 4p; $15+. nyparkour.com
• Aerial yoga. Manhattan and Williamsburg. Various days; $20. aerialyoga.com

BRAIN

• Open craft/hack nights at NYC Resistor. Brooklyn. Thursdays 6-9p; $free. nycresistor.com/2008/11/22/open-craft-hack-nights-on-thursdays/
• Math studies at the School of Mathematics, which cultivates a natural, stress-free environment where everyone can explore, study, and discover mathematics. Prior knowledge is not assumed. Brooklyn. Various days; $free. thewe.net/math
• Writing with constraints at the Writhings Society. Practice writing with arbitrary, sometimes mathematical, rules invented by the French group Oulipo and others; no experience necessary. Brooklyn. Wednesdays 6:30-8:30p; $5+. proteusgowanus.com

HANDS

• Knitting for beginners by Gotta Knit! in Bryant Park, Upper Terrace. Manhattan. Tuesdays 1:30-3p. $free. Pre-register: 212-989-3030.
• Craft-On (fun with yarn, thread, and more) with Church of Craft. Brooklyn. Various days; $free. churchofcraft.org/2008/10/01/welcome-nyc-crafters/
• Freegan Bike Workshop: Learn how to turn found bike parts into working bicycles and build your own bike. Brooklyn. Wednesdays and Saturdays; $free. 123communityspace.org/event
• Project Film School's film-theory freeschool with a weekly screening series and online resources. Brooklyn. Sunday nights; $free. projectfilmschool.org
• Bicycle repair classes at Time's Up! Manhattan and Brooklyn. Various days. $free. times-up.org/index.php?page=bike-co-op
• Home-improvement classes, from tiling to drywall repair, at Home Depot stores. Saturdays and Sundays; $free. homeimproverclub.com/workshops.aspx?Type=3
• The Fixers Collective is a social experiment in improvisational fixing and mending. Participants bring their broken objects and put them on a large, common fixing table and share ideas and techniques for repairing, mending, enhancing, or repurposing the objects. Brooklyn. Thursdays 6-9p; $5. proteusgowanus.com/main/fixers-collective
• Beading classes at Brooklyn Bead Box. Various days; $varies. brooklynbeadbox.com/classes.html
• Classes in the needle arts at Brooklyn General Store. Various days; $varies. brooklyngeneral.com/classes.htm
• Knitting and spinning classes at the Yarn Tree. Various days; $varies. theyarntree.com/studio/classes/
• Mosaic workshops. Manhattan. Wednesdays 1-4p and 6-9p; $100 for four-class workshop. newyorkartworld.com/things/things-mosaic.html
• Figure drawing at Brooklyn Artists Gym. Mondays 6:30-9p and Saturdays 12-3p; $8+. brooklynartistsgym.com/events.html#workshops
• Screenprinting at 123 Printshop. Brooklyn. Fridays 5-8p and Saturdays 3-5p; $3+. 123communityspace.org/program/screenprinting-workshop-50

GRAB BAG

• Night School at House of Yes. A different workshop each week on everything from whistling to wine tasting. Email kaeburke(at)gmail.com if you are interested in hosting your own workshop. Brooklyn. Wednesdays 9p; $varies. houseofyes.org/events/
• 3rd Ward offers multi- and interdisciplinary courses in visual art, technology, and fabrication. Various days; $varies. 3rdward.com/classes
• Gearilla!, a street theater workshop (on bikes). Various locations. Tuesdays 2p; $10+. monicahunken.com/classes.html
• Didgeridoo classes in Prospect Park for music, meditation, and healing. Saturdays; $10. didgeproject.com
• Creative arts classes at Spoke the Hub. Brooklyn. Various days; $varies. spokethehub.org
• First aid for cats and dogs. Manhattan. Saturdays 10-2p; $65 (if purchased online). nyredcross.org/viewclass.php/prmCID/32/month/08/year/2009

XXXXX HELP XXXXX

Ever taken part in an old-fashioned barn raising? We never have, but we think it would be kind of cool -- all those neighbors in funny hats and overalls coming together to pound nails, stand up walls, and raise the collective roof. In that spirit, we look for one-day volunteer opportunities with no long-term commitments required. Our goal is to help groups or individuals that serve the greater good in small but significant ways, avoiding mega-nonprofits and people just looking for free labor. Know of any existing opportunities? Looking for ways to help out? Or need volunteers to get your own community project off the ground? Send your requests to Joanie Schaffer at schafferificgmail.com.

***** HELP: UPCOMING *****

• September 23: Feel Free - A National Parks Celebration in Central Park. The nonprofit National Parks Conservation Association is partnering with PBS to " Celebrate the National Parks with Ken Burns,� an evening of entertainment at the East Meadow in Central Park. We are hoping to sign up 15-20 volunteers to help with on site guest services, directions and information assistance to guest arriving for the film and entertainment. Volunteers would need to arrive at 4p for orientation and would be provided t-shirts, water, lite snacks and a great show. We expect the show to end by 10 pm. Please contact Oliver Spellman at 212 617 2769 or by e mail at ospellmannpca.org.
• November 12. Set up help for the NephCure Foundation. Help is needed for the NephCure Foundation's 2009 New York Countdown to a Cure. Ten volunteers are needed to help with set-up for this charity event. Volunteers should arrive at 1p to begin set-up and will be fed. Countdown to a Cure will be held at the Citi Field Caesars Club in Flushing, Queens. Over 800 guests are expected. The reception-style dinner will begin at 6:30p. All proceeds benefit the NephCure Foundation, the only organization committed to finding a cause and cure for two devastating kidney diseases, Nephrotic Syndrome and Focal Segmental Glomerulosclerosis (FSGS). Minimum age 15. Please contact Miriam Long at mlongnephcure.org for more information. volunteermatch.org/search/opp572855.jsp

***** HELP: ONGOING *****

• Food Servers of St. John's Bread and Life. We are in need of groups that would be interested in helping out in our Soup Kitchen and Food Pantry. Minimum age 21. 795 Lexington Avenue, Brooklyn. volunteermatch.org/search/opp572876.jsp
• Looking for volunteers to do light administrative duties for non-profit outreach opera/musical theater group based in Washington Heights and Inwood. Most of the duties can be performed at home on your own computer. This is a great prospect for some one pursuing a degree in artistic administration. Looking for someone who can volunteer 5-10 hours a month. Again, just looking for someone to perform light administrative duties. For more info, contact cheron.g.cowangmail.com or visit nystreetopera.com.
• The GiveGoodGet Project is looking for "Good Deed Ambassadors" to take to the streets and find people doing good for their community! GiveGoodGet is a brand new project, still in its pilot stage, with the purpose of acknowledging good Samavritans for their contributions to making their neighborhoods stronger, friendlier places to live. We need outgoing, dedicated volunteers to identify and interview Samaritans on the streets, and award them with a small token of appreciation. To top off the fact that this is a great way to spread positive energy around the city and meet great people, all Good Deed Ambassadors will be compensated for their time (15/hr)! Interested? Please email marliewilsonstreetattack.com with your contact information, resume, and reason why you want to get involved.
• Reverend Billy Talen of the Church of Life After Shopping is the Green Party candidate for Mayor of NYC. The election is November 3 and we're looking for volunteers to help us between now and the election. Come share your fabulous talents with us, whatever they may be. We have a new headquarters at 250 Lafayette (between Prince and Spring) in lovely SoHo. Whether you're a poet, an artist, an organizer, or just willing to do odd jobs around HQ, like run errands or stuff envelopes, we'd love to have you working with us. To get involved, go to our web site and sign up on the volunteer page, stop by HQ, or come to our weekly meeting for new volunteers on Wednesdays from 7-9p in HQ. Right now we're especially in need of web savvy folks who know Drupal - we need Drupal administrators and Drupal themers to help with our web site. VoteRevBilly.org.
• Lit Drift: �Storytelling in the 21 Century� Seeks creative folks. I'm looking for bloggers, marketers, event organizers, and tech people to help out on our new blog dedicated to highlighting innovations in storytelling, with the ultimate goal to celebrate the art and craft of storytelling (in all its forms) by serving as a storyteller's resource and community. Lit Drift will start out as a blog, and eventually grow into an offline headquarters and creative space. But in the meantime, it's just a blog, so no one is getting paid until the site starts generating serious traffic and revenue. All I am looking for is a few passionate, creative people to pitch in for a few hours each week from the comfort of their own homes, and maybe get together every once in a while to discuss how the site is doing, where it's going, and schmooze over a beer or two (or ten). Please get in touch if you're interested at julialitdrift.com and tell me about yourself. litdrift.com.
• We can always use help in our office during regular business hours. There are a range of projects that volunteers can help with, some examples: press clippings, a Google Maps project (related to Community Boards and Council Districts), lending a hand in our events closet re-organization, general data entry projects and much more. Volunteers are welcome to come in for short or longer shifts, as often as you want. Please feel free to call or email Elena (volunteer and membership outreach coordinator) with any questions or to set up a time to come by and help out. elenatransalt.org 646 873 6036
• GALLOP, a New York City-based nonprofit corporation offers therapeutic riding lessons to individuals with disabilites at the historic Kensington Stables in the East Windsor Terrace section of Brooklyn, near Prospect Park. Staffed by a riding instructor certified by NARHA (North American Riding for the Handicapped Association) and a supported by licensed physical therapists, as well as a dedicated and experienced group of volunteers, the program offers a safe and supportive environment in which an individual can reap the many benefits of therapeutic riding. GALLOP is always in need of volunteers to help out with our program in any way. No horse experience is necessary, but it does help. We provide all the training you will need. We need people to help out at the stable with the horses and riders during lessons. Also, we have tons of "behind the scenes", such as office work, fundraising, grant writing, etc. Visit gallopnyc.org.
• SafeWalk is a free service to increase safety in our communities. From 11p Friday to 2a Saturday, we organize volunteers to take your call, bike to your location, and walk you to a destination within a 10-15 block radius. Our area of service currently includes Williamsburg, Greenpoint, Bedford Stuyvesant, Bushwick, Fort Greene, Clinton Hill, and downtown Brooklyn. Interested in becoming a volunteer? Contact safewalknycgmail.com or visit rightrides.org/templates/volunteer.php?page=vol_service.
• More than a barn, we're raising the mother of all meeting houses. New Yorkers deserve the basic democratic right�enjoyed by most other Americans and in most of the country's big cities�to have a direct say in our city's future and the laws we live by. (Just think: we could actually make dancing legal again.) The right of citizens to propose and vote on laws is fundamental to democratic government around the country. Some of NYC's lowercase democrats aim to win it and bring it into the 21st century. Join in designing the meeting house (i.e. writing the needed amendments to our city's charter), help grow the November '09 - June '10 petitioning drive, or find out more at lowercased.org.
• The Fortune Society is looking for volunteers to teach reading, writing and math to former prisoners and young people facing prison time. Contact 212 691 7554 x250 or visit fortunesociety.org.
• NY Artists Unlimited is a 25 year old, multicultural nonprofit that takes professional theatre and art to under-served audiences. Volunteers/ interns are used in all areas: administration, office work, design, graphics, technical, fundraising & development, PR/marketing, creative areas, and more. We are soon moving back into our renovated East Village arts center and need help in design, planning & development, fundraising, PR/marketing. In the summer, we present the International CringeFest, which includes the Bad Plays, Bad Musicals, and Bad Films Festivals. All proceeds go to support our work with under-served audiences. Class credit is available for college interns. Come join us in an artistic, supportive environment where noble deeds are being done and great creativity is taking place. No pay, but snacks, beverages, occasionally lunch available. Visit the website for further info: www.NYartists.orgVisit the website for further info: NYartists.org or contact Nyartunlt[a t]aol.com.
• The Rock Dove Project focuses on connecting health care practitioners who offer cheap/free services with seekers of those services. rockdovecollective.org/project
• Mentor kids through skateboarding, surfing and snowboarding at Stoked Mentoring. Contact infostoked.org
• Rescue disoriented and injured birds and ultimately help migratory birds make it to their destinations as a Project Safe Flight Volunteer. volunteernycaudubon.org
• Volunteer with Books Through Bars, an affiliated project of ABC No Rio that sends books to prisoners all over the country. Books Through Bars meets Mondays and Thursdays 7:30-9:30p and Sundays 5-8p at the NYC AIDS Housing Network, 80-A Fourth Ave, Brooklyn. abcnorio.org/affiliated/btb.html
• Help feed the homeless by volunteering at a City Harvest special event. cityharvest.org
• Volunteer as a writing tutor for kids at 826NYC. 826NYC.org
• Dog walking and Cat Petting at the Brooklyn Animal Rescue Coalition. barcshelter.org

XXXXX NONSENSE XXXXX

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XXXXX END XXXXX

Good god damn and we get to live in New York in the fall.