From: "Jeff Stark" <jstark@nonsensenyc.com>
Subject: nonsensenyc: 12.30.09 to 1.6.10
Date: December 30th 2009

NOTE: Happy New Year and all that. We've been pirating wireless signals from alongside train tracks to bring you this special New Year's edition. In case you didn't get out this year, our country is really big and most of it looks nothing like New York City. And for some reason almost everyone has a password on their network.

Anyway, we wanted to say thanks for all those donations last week. And especially for the notes. Each time we ask for yearly donations the notes are the real pay off. The particular details are important to us -- and that includes videos of slaughterhouse parties and urls of quirky girls and their blogs -- but the contents are surprisingly similar. If we distilled all the emails that came in last week they would say this: "Thank you. We get it."

You get that we actually care about community. You get that we're trying to support independent artists. You get that it's an effort to put the list together every week. You get that there are costs. You get that Nonsense is different than a lot of other lists (even good ones). And you get that there is a connection between us and a couple of good nights you had last year -- really good nights.

Thanks for getting it.

This is the last week we'll ask for donations up top. You can make them all year long, but we concentrate our effort now, which is incidentally when we pay our annual bills.

Please support us. Once more, $5 is nice if you read the listings, and we ask $20 if you use Nonsense to promote your events, your classes, or your spaces. It's important to us that you donate because you appreciate this service. Because you get it. Like we said last week, we're not in this for the cash; we're in it for the love.

Here's the url:

nonsensenyc.com/special

We will be switching email hosts yet again after next week in an attempt to get the weekly email out to you faster. You shouldn't notice a thing. In the meantime, Happy New Year. We hope all your crushes come true. And good luck on that next big project. Send us an invite please.

Yours,

Jeff Stark and the Nonsense NYC staff

Wednesday, December 30
* New Years Eve Eve, Brooklyn
* The Salon, Manhattan

New Year's Eve
* 12th Annual New Year's Eve Bike Ride and Outdoor After-Party, Manhattan * Rubulad Presents: A New Year's Eve Masquerade, Brooklyn * New Lost City, Brooklyn
* The Bootleggers' Ball, Brooklyn
* Transmutation, Brooklyn
* New Years on the Rocks, Brooklyn
* New Year's Eve End of the Decade Danceathon, Williamsburg * Pre-Teen Century, Future Fantasy, Time War, Wiliamsburg * Mister Saturday Night New Year's Eve, Brooklyn * New Years Eve Built by MeanRed, Brooklyn * New Years Eve at Public Assembly, Williamsburg * Pratt Steam Whistles, Brooklyn
* Brooklyn Paintdown New Years 2010, Brooklyn * Magic Brian and Corn Mo's New Year's Eve Bash, Manhattan * New Year's Eve with the Coney Island Sideshow, Williamsburg

New Year's Day
* HiChristina Love Corners, Manhattan and Williamsburg * DX, Brooklyn
* Polar Bear Swim, Brooklyn

Saturday, January 2
* Dr. Sketchy's, Manhattan

Sunday, January 3
* Annual Memorial Ride and Walk

Tuesday, January 5
* Stage and Screen, Brooklyn
* The Bushwick Book Club, Brooklyn

Wednesday, January 6
* Bailout Theater, Manhattan

Ongoing
* Back for its monthly visit

Wishlist
* Queer-friendly housing

Spectre
* So Far So Good

Learning
* Upholstery

Help
* Holiday Edition

NOTE: For some navigation help, or an explanation for what this is all about, scroll all the way down to NONSENSE. You'll find snarky editorial comments and little bits of praise littered throughout this list. These nuggets are marked with all caps, like this: NOTE. Also, we make a lot of mistakes, especially with dates; you should always double check our work. And you can donate to this project at nonsensenyc.com/special.

XXXXX COVER ART XXXXX

Blurry white fields across America.

XXXXX WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 30 XXXXX

New Years Eve Eve

Every year we cross a line representing the passage between "what we we have been" to "what we will be." We break our old habits and make resolutions to bring ourselves closer to what we want to become. This year we clench this passage with both hands and create a tradition that exalts both sides of this line and aptly name it New Years Eve Eve. This new day is for those that that are interested in making real connections to dive into the delightfully dizzyingly next year while holding strong to the things we've loved in the past. It is either continuing practice or a complete arrival destination. Come, adorn your face with shimmering beauty, hold a drink made with as much love as you are able to give, let your ears and eyes open sounds from the distant past and soon to be future, gawk at bowed backs of feathered bodies and politely turn to the one you've had stars for and ask them if you may press your moist lips against theirs. Expect to speak with playa lovers, world trave lers, subversive leaders of the underground, high flying beauties, and generally glorious creatives.

Classical and neo-burlesque by Tiana. Long lost music by Viola da Gamba virtuoso, Laurence Pangaro. Spanish and Sud America classical guitar by Joshua Tennent. Human Wind Chime that responds to touch. The New Years Eve-eve midnight make-out tradition. Dancing music made by people and robots. Hand passed hors d'oeuvres. Homemade "Never Never Land" beer. New Years Eve-Eve tradition: You may confidently, respectfully, and openly ask anyone you see to kiss you during the 15 minutes after midnight.) Specialty cash and grande absinthe bar. Fireside pillow areas. Ornate face painting by Abby Weg.

Dress to Express (Think elegant depression era, futuristic speakeasy, playa dwelling Gatsby's, evening gowns and lights, feathers and shiny objects).

RSVP for address, Brooklyn
L train to Morgan station
8p-late, 8-9:30p free beer, 11:30p free champagne; $25, or $20 if you bring a letter written and addressed to yourself one year in the future joe@jigsawsoul.com
tinyurl.com/ye6g7eg

***** Also on WEDNESDAY *****

From Gemini & Scorpio:

The Salon

Main ballroom: George Gees Jump Jivin Wailers with John Dokes and Hilary Gardner. Upstairs in the Library Lounge: Queen Esther and the Hot Five. In the Sargent Room: Gelber and Manning. Plus Heln Pontani, Pandor, DJ Rikomatic. Plus Zelda, the magazine of the vintage nouveau.

The Players Club
16 Gramercy Park South, Manhattan
8p; $20 advance, $25 door

XXXXX NEW YEAR'S EVE XXXXX

12th Annual New Year's Eve Bike Ride and Outdoor After-Party

Start the year off right- on your bike or skates. Don't get stuck in a smoky bar or some corporate-sponsored event, Come celebrate New Year's Eve in the great outdoors with music, dancing, Rude Mechanical Orchestra Marching Band, fireworks, and merriment.

We'll be riding up to Belvedere Castle in the middle of Central Park for the best (and free!) New Year's Eve dance party in town with marching band, Rude Mechanical Orchestra and fireworks! Dress festive -- don't forget your noisemakers and party favors -- and bring food and drink to share.

Meet at Washington Square Park, under the Arch 5th Avenue at Washington Park North, Manhattan 10:30p (or meet at Belvedere Castle in Central Park at 11:45p); $free times-up.org/index.php?page=new-years-ride

***** Also on NEW YEAR'S EVE *****

Rubulad Presents: A New Year's Eve Masquerade

Decadence, decade ends, deca-dance. Bands: I Love You Airlines, the Dolomites, Hungry March Band, and Not Waving But Drowning. With DJs Shakey, Porkchop, Reaganomics and Gecko Jones, and Mike Simonetti.

In the cabaret room: Baby Seals, Jessica Delfino, Viva Maria, Surrender the Booty, and DJ sets by Jaxon BK and Greything. In the Starlight Lounge: G. Scopitronic's Non-Stop Film Fest, hot drinks. Door Prizes for early birds. Modern Dance Awareness Society. Hot F###in' Tamales. Midnight Champagne Bunny Toast.

You can help us continue to have a Rubulad in this space by being quiet coming and going, staying inside the space during the event and not pissing all over the sidewalk as soon as you get around the corner -- which, incidentally, does attract the police and they will write you a summons. The less our neighbors have to complain about, the more fun we can have.

Rubulad Home Base
338 Flushing Avenue, between Classon and Taaffee, Brooklyn B61 bus or G train to Classon station
10p doors, 10:45 show; $20 dressy bessies and masked marvels or way late, $30 otherwise

***** Also on NEW YEAR'S EVE *****

New Lost City

This party comes in four sections spread across two buildings.

Grit: Three warm floors of a former factory converted into a party paradise with hidden tea lounges, reckless rides, live art, cheap liquor, and dark dance-floors. The music here is a throw-back to the classic loft-parties, where live afro-beat mixes with stellar hip-hop and djs meet in the middle.

Glamor: Intelligent techno to breaks to deep dark house join in a 7,000 square foot loft with dripping video projections and female chandeliers (yes, there will be fire).

Ice: One hundred fifty cubic feet of false snow, Santas, and seditious elves mix with the Modern Dance Awareness Society to create a winter wonderland.

Fire: Stripper poles, piano lounges, aerial acts, casino games, and brass bands blend into a tribute to the forgotten underbelly of New York City.

Midnight: Begins with champagne bottles, fire acts, brass band explosions, dance-floor countdowns, kisses from strangers and -- for a chosen few -- a three course meal at the center of it all. This is the start of the best year of your life.

Performers include: Baja and Dry Eye Crew, the Hungry March Band, Stumblebum Brass Band, Raya Brass Band, Lady Circus with Fuct, Mikey Freedom Heart, and Mickey Western, Lauren Darling's Hungry for More, Michna, Fred P. aka the Black Jazz Consortium, Dunndee, John Margulies, Zemi 17, the Vintage DJ, and Joro Boro. Feather masks will be rewarded with champagne and gifts.

Start at 3rd Ward
195 Morgan Avenue, Brooklyn
L train to Morgan Avenue station
9p-7a; $29 door
21 and over
newlostcity.com

***** Also on NEW YEAR'S EVE *****

Gemini and Scorpio present:

The Bootleggers' Ball

The contraband has been ordered, authorities paid off, and performers lined up for a New Year's Eve speakeasy ball in an enormous and aged warehouse with soaring peaked ceilings, peeling whitewashed brick walls, old wood beams, and glowing chandeliers. Expect the intimacy of cabaret mixed with a vintage costumed ball. Free cider 8-9p, plus drinks by House of St Eve, handcrafted beer, and other delectable potions.

Featuring: The Mad Jazz Hatters, Stumblebum Brass Band, Main Squeeze Orchestra, Mme Rosebud and Jenny C'est Quoi, Alchemy Dance Theater, Nikki Borodi aerial, DJs Jason Blackkat, Dhundee, Jon Margulies. Face painting by painteresse Elysabeth. Tarot and 2010 numerology divination Marcy Currier, midnight moment of mayhem by Dan Glass, hosted by burlesque's charming reprobate Bastard Keith.

Plus more live entertainment and surprises, including a live auction of prohibition memorabilia and games of chance in our Den of Sin. Bring fun items to bet, or be prepared to lose your clothes. Dress code: depression glamour, evening ball on the Titanic, hobo formal, desperation derring-do. Effort required. Own cups optional, but welcome.

Check in at Green and Green Insurance Co. 450 Union, at Bond, Brooklyn
8p-6a; $30 advance, $40 door, $50 VIP, $20 after 2a 21 and over
RSVP
geminiandscorpio.com/events.html

***** Also on NEW YEAR'S EVE *****

Winkel and Balktick present:

Transmutation

A warehouse alchemy magnum opus for New Year's Eve 2010. It was the end of the Aughts. Winkel and Balktick meditated upon the last decade's irrational exuberance and its booms, busts, bursts, and bubbles. While the present situation seemed dire, they knew that with the right experiment, they could transform the debut of the Tens from a bleak lump of coal into a brilliant Golden Age.

On Thursday, December 31, 2009, join them as they transmute a dusty old warehouse into a clandestine celebration laboratory. Participate in the boldest experiments in dancing, DJs, interactive art installations, lounging, activities, games, elixirs, cuisine and merrymaking.

The laboratory, The Philosopher's Stone, is a chamber of the most majestic proportions. It 26,000 square feet (yes, really) sit perched upon the East River in Sunset Park, Brooklyn.

Music: DJs spinning house, techno, breaks, and dubstep: Reza, Friar Tuck, Doug Singer, DJ Courage aka Steve B, David Last. Delirious downtempo and ambient labscapes by Autophage and Prototype, Cosmo D, Creepy Hugs, Futureben, Hobotrail, and Shigeto.

Art and performance: Animal Mechanical, Betty T. Kaos and Chris NYC, Caraballo-Farman, Charlie Roberts, Chassy and Audrey, Corey Armpriester, Day De Dada, Eva Lansberry, Gregory Skolozdra, Harlan Emil Gruber, Imagenode, Jeanne Angel and Sam Z, the Jellie Collective, John Walter, Judy Sky, Jules Garcia, Just Desserts Lab, Kate Raudenbush, Kostume Kult, Laura Sheedy and Kaytee Papusza, Logan Grendel and Psyche Corporation, Lowroad, Marko's Boomshack, Meki and Mike's Magic Concession Kitchen, Rounder, Page Not Found, Squiddie And Friends, Terri Ferrari, Troy C. Franz, V2K's Shadow Dance Tunnel. Visuals from VJs Housewives' Guide to Anatomy, Dr. Light, VJ Silence, Animatronic, and Nobody But Yours.

RSVP for address, Brooklyn
9p-7a, free beer 9-10p; $25 through Wednesday, $30 door, $20 after 3a info@wnbnyc.com
wnbnyc.com/rsvp.html

***** Also on NEW YEAR'S EVE *****

Surreal Estate presents:

New Years on the Rocks

A pirate themed fundraiser for the Bedford Bike Lane Activist Defense Fund. What a solid gold year it's been at Surreal Estate, and in all of our collective lives. Celebrate the camaraderie at our most mirthful New Year's Midnight Metamorphosis. Lament your losses and boast of your exploits as the confetti canon explodes overhead, and glowing glasses are raised for a plasma toast on the heated roof deck. New York's loftiest, most diverse, most surprising communal house wishes Peace and Joy to all: Thank you for your support throughout the year.

Three floors and our roof deck featuring CSC Funk Band, the Lord Jeff, Outernational, Heritage OP, Veveritse, and an open jam session with Big Tasty of Big Tasty's Funk Party. With DJs Yoko, Faith in the Glitch, and Oh Shit. Plus fire spinning, portrait booth, horoscopes by Swami Chachaynanda. Sinful sweets and healthy treats. Full pirate themed decoration.

Surreal Estate
15 Thames, Brooklyn
10p-6a; $20
myspace.com/surrealestatenyc

***** Also on NEW YEAR'S EVE *****

Live With Animals presents:

New Year's Eve End of the Decade Danceathon

A Golden New Year with Golden Triangle and Electric Tickle Machine. DJs JG Thirlwell, Arthur Arbitt (local perv), Jack and Julie Hines (Georgiana Starlington, K-Holes). Go-go dancing. Free champagne at midnight.

Glasslands
289 Kent Avenue, at South 1st Street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn 9p, free better vodka from 9-10p; $10
glasslands.blogspot.com/

***** Also on NEW YEAR'S EVE *****

Pre-Teen Century, Future Fantasy, Time War

Come on a trip to the future present. We're all going, So lets go together. Give way to the Tiger Beat, 2010, Year of the Tiger. Take your inner space to outer space with all of us. Its an Odyssey, to make contact, ya dig?

You feel me? I feel you. We love you. And we're here to help you blow your own mind.

With I Love You Airlines, Theo Angel, Stabbing Eastwood (Ryan Sawyer and Tunde Adebimpe), Mariachi, Throbbing Megz and the Shuttlecocks. Plus tiny tacos, Jean Loscalzo is so high, Lone Wolf and Cub, H1/N1 Acrobatics, opera by Anima Animus Animal. Viva El Diablo.

Union Pool
484 Union Avenue, at Meeker, Williamsburg, Brooklyn 10p-4a; $10 includes champagne toast

***** Also on NEW YEAR'S EVE *****

Mister Saturday Night New Year's Eve

Say goodbye to the first decade of the third millennium and hello to 2010. It's A Mister Saturday Night New Year's Eve. We're tuning up our soundsystem for maximum output, serving up free drinks all night long, and playing the celebratory jams only fit for a night fueled by sparkling wine. Justin even has a New Orleans brass band version of Auld Lang Syne he might play before the ball drops, and we're sure Eamon's got some sneaky Irish New Year's tradition that he can share.

Our special guest is Omar S, one of the best DJs we've ever had at Mister Saturday Night. We think he'll be in a particularly celebratory mood - 2009 was pretty good to him. It was the year he released his Fabric mix and the year that he launched from being a staple of the Detroit underground to one of the most sought after DJs and producers in the world. He'll drop his first record right after the ball drops. Happy New Year, indeed.

1142 Myrtle Avenue, Brooklyn
10p-late; $50 includes open bar all night, $20 after 4a mistersaturdaynight.com

***** Also on NEW YEAR'S EVE *****

New Years Eve Built by MeanRed

A warehouse party featuring the Rub, Project Matt, and Lloydski. With Lights by Liz Ligouri. 2010 is going to be a big year. And dancing all night with friends and family is the way we'd like to ring it in.

On New Year's Eve we're teaming up with local stars DJ Eleven, DJ Ayres, and Cosmo Baker of the Rub. With a loyal herd of followers, these three bring out Brooklyn's finest. Plus we've got Unemployed Lloyd and Project Matt spinning guest sets. These guys are family -- they'll make you dance and then they'll take shots with you after.

We are taking over the garage of an Old Can Factory in Brooklyn, which we are warming-up-all-cozy with our subwoofers, turntables, lighting, heaters, and extra special surprises. Say goodbye to 2009 with dope music, plenty of alcohol, champagne toast, good people, and no neighbors. Free malt liquor from 9-10p.

Old American Can Factory
232 3rd Street, Brooklyn
9p-4a; $25 or $50 with three hours of open bar

***** Also on NEW YEAR'S EVE *****

New Years Eve at Public Assembly

Parties for a solid 20 hours. Three parties, three ways to ring in the New Year, something for every facet of your personality, even the parts you're in denial about.

Front Room: The Ohio Party DJs. Back Room: The Bunker's Blood & Thunder IV live techno/house. After Party: Psybotik Robot Revolution techno/electro/trance/dubstep.

Public Assembly
70 North 6th Street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn 10p-5a Ohio, 10p-4p Bunker, 6a-6p Psybotik; $10 Ohio, $20-30 Bunker, $10 Psybotik publicassemblynyc.com

***** Also on NEW YEAR'S EVE *****

Pratt Steam Whistles

Blasts from the chief engineer's collection.

Pratt Campus, Brooklyn
Midnight; $free

***** Also on NEW YEAR'S EVE *****

Brooklyn Paintdown New Years 2010

Featuring live performances by Raye 6, Dynasty Electric, and M.Island. With live art by See-One, Rimx, and Lichiban. Plus music by DJs Hard Hitting Harry and Synapse. Presented by Coup d'etat Brooklyn In Collaboration with Littlefield.

Littlefield
622 Degraw Street, Brooklyn
10p doors; $40 advance, $50 door
21 and Over
littlefieldnyc.com/event-detail/?id=3119 cdtbk.com

***** Also on NEW YEAR'S EVE *****

From Gemini and Scorpio:

Magic Brian and Corn Mo's New Year's Eve Bash

Jason Trachtenburg of the Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players and Albert Cadabra the great deceiver will perform, in addition to Corn Mo making his barbecue ribs, a champagne toast at midnight, and DJs to keep you dancing until dawn.

Parkside Lounge
317 East Houston, Manhattan
9p; $50 after 9 includes food, $25 after 10 magicbrian.com
parksidefun@gmail.com

***** Also on NEW YEAR'S EVE *****

New Year's Eve with the Coney Island Sideshow

Celebrate New Year's Eve with the Coney Island Circus Sideshow, Scott Baker, Serpentina, Kryssy Kocktail, Adam the First Real Man Rinn, the Executioner, and Dick Zigun. Musical guest Bad Buka.

Radegast Hall and Biergarten
113 North 3rd Street, at Berry Street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn 10p; $free
coneyisland.com

XXXXX NEW YEAR'S DAY XXXXX

HiChristina Love Corners

Have you ever stopped at an intersection and watched everyone walk by? What if you kept standing there and instead of checking your phone or asking directions ... you started projecting love? Get the New Year off to a flying happy start with a long cold look at humanity. Wear a red scarf or red handkerchief or a red flower or hat. Walk to the corner of 18th Street and 6th Avenue in Manhattan, or North 6th Street and Bedford in Brooklyn and watch the people go by. Just look, silently. Smile. Stand on the sunny side of the street. Hold hands with anyone else at the performance, any stranger in a red scarf. Watch together without speaking. After 15 minutes immediately call the HiChristina hotline and tell us what your experience was like: 917 642 6018.

Today HiChristina is embarking on its largest and most extravagant performance/event to kick off the new year in the right spirit. You'll be standing on the corner holding hands simultaneously with people in Beijing, London, Johannesburg, and Tokyo.

Hi Christina recommends going to a nearby tavern or cafe and sharing a drink with your newfound red-scarved friends. Document however you'd like, camera phone, post-it note, crumpled underwear. Join the world along with HiChristina in celebrating 2010. This is not hug a stranger, this is not art everywhere, this is whimsical love and more refreshing than coconut water.

6th Avenue and 18th Street, Manhattan, and ... Bedford and North 6th Street, Brooklyn
3-4p; $free
rxapparel@gmail.com

***** Also on NEW YEAR'S DAY *****

Disorient presents:

DX

The official afterparty of New Year's Eve. A fundraiser for Disorient camp at Burning Man.

Brooklyn Urban Sanctuary
RSVP for address, Brooklyn
4a-4p; discounts for people with stamps from Transmutation event dx@disorient.info
wiki.disorient.info/images/a/a3/DXv3.jpg wiki.disorient.info/index.php?title=Parties#Disorient_presents:_DX

***** Also on NEW YEAR'S DAY *****

Polar Bear Swim

Live vicariously through members of the Coney Island Polar Club or join them for a traditional New Year's Day dip in the frigid Atlantic. Special this year: Strongman Steve Ekstance, who recently pulled a dumptruck by his teeth and dead lifted 1,000 lbs, will be performing similar feats.

Coney Island Boardwalk
At Stillwell Avenue, Brooklyn
1p sharp; $free
polarbearclub.org/

XXXXX SATURDAY, JANUARY 2 XXXXX

Dr. Sketchy's Anti-Art School

With the beautiful Madame Rosebud, in a tribute to Disco Bloodbath. Dr. Sketchy's is a life drawing class turned cabaret extravaganza. Artists draw glamorous underground performers, compete in contests, and win booze and prizes. From its humble Brooklyn beginnings, it's spread to 100 cities on five continents, including London, Rome, Tokyo, Paris, Sao Paulo, and Melbourne. Free admission to any guests who come dressed as Angel.

Slipper Room,
167 Orchard Street, at Stanton, Manhattan 4-7p; $10 advance, $12 door
21 and over
mollycrabapple.com
drsketchy.com

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Hey, I'm Walkin' Here!

A series of exploratory perambulations through the five boroughs. Or, less pretentiously: Get off your butt and come walk around the city with us.

Ring in the new year the way an insane person would: walk 20 miles in the cold and then jump in the ocean. We'll make our way from Long Island City to Brighton Beach, ending with a nighttime plunge in the frigid Atlantic. Don't forget your towel.

Meeting point: Southwest corner of Queens Blvd and Jackson Ave, Queens 9:30a; $free
matt.burnsomedustgmail.com
burnsomedust.com

XXXXX SUNDAY, JANUARY 3 XXXXX

Annual Memorial Ride and Walk

The Annual Memorial Ride and Walk brings New Yorkers together to remember pedestrians and cyclists killed in our city over the past year. This will mark the fifth year that this event has occurred. Riders will visit the site of each ghost bike, a white-painted memorial for cyclists, installed in 2009, then join the Memorial Walk in Greenpoint. Please join us for this important event. Louisville, Kentucky cyclists will be riding in solidarity with us to remember their own losses.

Ride starts at West 145th Street and Convent Avenue, Manhattan 10a; $free
Walk starts at Manhattan Avenue and Milton Street, Brooklyn 4:30p; $free
twitter.com/nyc_streetmem
ghostbikes.org/node/559

XXXXX TUESDAY, JANUARY 5 XXXXX

Adult Education presents

Stage and Screen

Adult Education is a Brooklyn-based monthly lecture series devoted to making useless knowledge somewhat less useless. In January -- as awards season gets underway -- Adult Education welcomes a panel of presenters to speak on the theme of Stage and Screen.

The line-up will include Patrick Borelli's Holy Headshot, Andrea Rosen's Conquering the Commercial Audition, Colleen Werthmann's Stage vs. Screen. All hosted by Charles Star.

Union Hall
702 Union Street, at 5th Avenue, Brooklyn 8p show, 7:30p show; $5
adult-ed.net

***** Also on TUESDAY *****

The Bushwick Book Club

This month: Cat's Cradle, by Kurt Vonnegut. With performances about the book by Brook Pridemore, Dibson Hoffweiler, James Wells, Susan Hwang, Brian Speaker, Matthew Varvil, Laura Brenneman, Deenah Vollmer, Preston Spurlock, Franz Nicolay, Maria Sonevytsky, and Madeleine Fix-Hansen.

Goodbye Blue Mondays
1087 Broadway, Brooklyn
8p; $free
718 453 6343

XXXXX WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 6 XXXXX

Bailout Theater

A twice-monthly completely free event that has been running on the first and third Wednesday evenings of every month at Judson Memorial Church in Washington Square Park since August of 2009. Until now, it has been an almost gluttonous (but healthy) homemade dinner prepared fresh with produce and meat acquired creatively straight from local farmer friends of ours (vegan/vegetarian options available). Complete with homemade desserts, sides and beverages. No catch, no cover, no agenda, no risk of being proselytized -- just interesting strangers hanging out in a beautiful piece of old New York architecture, eating and watching beloved films.

Starting January 6, 2010, things get a little more exciting. The format is switching over to live and diverse local entertainment, ranging from performance artists to more interactive nights including but not limited to drum/song circles, dance, group art, etc. Dinners will also be moving to include a mix of some of the best that local restaurants have to offer; along with the fine culinary musings of both the Bailout Theater crew and our attendees alike.

The event is organized by a mix of Judson staff, members and unaffiliated people who just love stuff like this in the city. There is no secret motive behind Bailout Theater - we just think there should be places in a city like New York where you can go that aren't your home or your workplace and where you don't have to shell out five big ones just to sit down and enjoy your fellow human beings.

Come by and get some free, fresh food and some good ol' downtown-style entertainment to break up your week!

Judson Church
55 Washington Square South, Manhattan
7:30p dinner, 8p entertainment; $free
Continues first and third Wednesdays
bailout-theater.org

XXXXX UPCOMING XXXXX

• 2010

XXXXX ONGOING XXXXX

Nonsense is too long. The great thing about the internet is that it doesn't really cost much to run long listings and exhaustive descriptions. It turns out that's ... exhausting. After several complaints and a little deliberation, we're trying a new format: On the first Friday of the month we will run updated ongoing listings in each section: events, learning, and help. Other weeks we're going for leaner, meaner sections. If you're desperate for something to do on an off-Tuesday night we suggest you either look back a few issues ago in your inbox, or poke through our online archives, which you can find under the subscribe page.

Also, a note about better rock shows. Nonsense does not straight list rock shows in New York unless they occur in tandem with puppet shows or jump rope tournaments or in subway tunnels or in graveyards. For listings of good shows, especially shows that feature independent bands at quality venues like Death by Audio and those booked by hard-working promoters like Todd P or Sleep When Dead, consult resources like ohmyrockness.com, brooklynvegan.com/, sleepwhendeadnyc.com/calendar/, or the lively New York Happenings listserve on Yahoo groups launch.groups.yahoo.com/group/nyhappenings/. For the most exhaustive list of underground shows at unusual venues, track down a copy of the extremely useful -- and handsome -- Showpaper.

***** ONGOING: FRIDAYS *****

• Neo Futurists present Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind. Thirty original plays in 60 minutes. Also on SATURDAYS. The Kraine Theater, 85 East 4th Street, Manhattan. 10:30p; $11 plus the roll of a six-sided die, $15 presale. nynf.org
• Manhattan Critical Mass. Union Square, 17th Street and Broadway, Manhattan. Last FRIDAY of the month. 7p; $free.
• Brooklyn Critical Mass. Grand Army Plaza entrance to Prospect Park, Brooklyn. Second FRIDAY of the month. 7p; $free.

***** ONGOING: SATURDAYS *****

• Floating Cabaret. Trapeze, burlesque, song, dance. Hosted by Olga and Bjorn. Galapagos Art Space, 16 Main Street, Brooklyn. 10p doors, $10. 718 222 8500. galapagosartspace.com.
• Night Kayaking Tours, Manhattan and Brooklyn. Explore: Coney Island submarine, creepy Governors Island, gross Gowanus Canal, and money-making Manhattan. Website: http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=ddrw24x5_167dxdpf3d9
• Rock and Roll 101. Watch music documentaries projected on the wall. St. Jerome's, 155 Rivington, between Clinton and Suffolk, Manhattan. 4-9p; $free.
• Barefoot Boogie: No shooze no booze. The Boogie is a not-for-profit alcohol-free event that happens every second and fourth SATURDAY of the month. Insight Meditation Center, 28 West 27th Street, 10th floor, buzzer No. 27. 8:30p-12:30a. barefootboogie.org

***** ONGOING: SUNDAYS *****

• CrazyTown / Locoville. Odd open mike hosted by Steph Sabelli. Weirdoes welcome and encouraged. Under St. Marks Theater, 94 St. Marks, at First Avenue, Manhattan. 9p sign up-1a; $free.
• Grub. A cheap, simple dinner for strangers and co-conspirators. Rubulad home base, 338 Flushing, at Classon, Brooklyn. G train to Flushing or Classon stations, J,M,Z to Marcy, B61 bus to Flushing. First and third SUNDAYS, 6:30p doors, 7p dinner; $pay what you want, and bring your own booze. suckapants.com/grub.html
• Church of Craft, group crafting. Etsy Labs, 325 Gold Street, third floor, Brooklyn. 2-6p; $free. churchofcraft.org/
• NYC Bike Polo. No experience needed. We'll show you how to play. We have mallets and balls; bring your bicycle. 1:30-5p-ish (or later if it's really nice out); $free. Sara D. Roosevelt Park, Broome between Chrystie and Forsyth, Manhattan. groups.myspace.com/NYCBIKEPOLO

***** ONGOING: MONDAYS *****

• The Big Quiz Thing. NYC's live trivia spectacular. Crash Mansion, 199 Bowery, at Spring, Manhattan. Two Mondays a month. 7p doors; $7, $200 grand prize.
• Demonstration of the Great Organ, there are five organs in the beautiful St. John the Divine church up on Amsterdam Avenue, but the most impressive is the Great Organ. The head organist is giving a demonstration on how the organ functions. 1p; $free. Cathedral of St. John the Divine, 1047 Amsterdam Avenue, Manhattan.
• Glasslands Gallery Variety and Game Night. All ages, free sangria 8-8:30p, live music, video, and bingo. The Glasslands Gallery, 289 Kent Avenue, between South 1st and 2nd streets, Williamsburg, Brooklyn. 8p; $free. glasslands.blogspot.com/ and myspace.com/theglasslands
• Aerial Open Work Out. Come play in 29 feet of vertical fun. Use our silks, lyras, and trapezes, or rig your own. 8-10p; $15, Sky Box, 342 Maujer Street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn, L train to Grand Street. 585 507 1770. RSVP to skybox.info@gmail.com
• Show and Tell. Each performer gets seven minutes. Writing contest and Beer Walk for free beer. Hosted by the O'Debra Twins. Bowery Poetry Club, 308 Bowery, Manhattan.

***** ONGOING: TUESDAYS *****

• Jugglers Anonymous: The Pratt Chapter. All ages and abilities welcome to practice juggling and related arts. Student Union, Pratt Institute (200 Willoughby Ave, Brooklyn) 7:30-11p $free jugglenyc.com/clubs.html

***** ONGOING: WEDNESDAYS *****

• Drink N Draw. Art. Nudity. Beer. We provide the beer and the model, you bring your drawing tools of choice. 3rd Ward, 195 Morgan, Brooklyn. Second and fourth WEDNESDAYS 8-10.30p; $15, or $20 for two. afenton3rdward.com, 3rdward.com/.

***** ONGOING: THURSDAYS *****

• Carmine Street Jugglers. All levels welcome to practice juggling and related arts. 7:30-9:30p. Tony Dapolito Recreation Center, corner Varick and Clarkson, Manhattan. Club is free, but building requires NYC Parks and Recreation membership ($free-$75 per year). jugglenyc.com/clubs.html
• The Lower East Side Community Choir, a non-auditioned choir that believes that everyone can sing and that singing together in harmony with others is essential for personal and community health and vitality. Our repertoire is eclectic. If you love a cappella music and want to be able to join a drop-in gathering of like minded people, then this is for you. Lower East Side Girls Club, 56 East 1st Street, Manhattan. 7-9p; $donations. ubuntuchoirs.net/locator_United_States.php
• Private Ear Audio Theatre: Radio Plays. 8:30p; $?. Brooklyn Lyceum. privateear.org
• $mall �hange and House of Yes present: No Parking on the Dancefloor. Next party: July 30. A party bringing it back to dancing. Basically we do not have any kind of dogma or judgment. Do what feels comfortable to you and be respectful to those around ya, that's basically all we ask. Different DJs every time. House of Yes, 342 Maujer, near Morgan, Brooklyn. Every third THURSDAY, 9ish-midnightish (starts/ends early); $5-10 suggested donation. NOTE: This event is every third Thursday, not every Thursday. Also, sometimes they cancel the event for some reason or another. You should check first: smallchange666@gmail.com
• Carmine Street Jugglers. All levels welcome to practice juggling and related arts. 7:30-9:45p. Club is free, but building requires NYC Parks and Recreation membership ($0-$75 per year). jugglenyc.com/clubs.html
• Rocky Sullivan's Pub Quiz, with Quizmaster Scott M.X. Turner. 8:30p; $free admission, potable prizes. Rocky Sulivan's, 34 Van Dyke Street, Brooklyn. rockysullivans.com/quiz.html

XXXXX WISHLIST XXXXX

What have you been wishing for? Collaborators, grant monies, a new home? Please send brief listings to Alita at alitanonsensenyc.com. We only list available apartments, lofts, studios, and one-off rentals -- not spaces wanted.

***** ARTY STUFF *****

• Creative Time and P.S.1 Contemporary Art Center present: Open Door at P.S.1. January 23-24, 2010, 12 to 6p, P.S.1, 22-25 Jackson Ave at the intersection of 46th Avenue. An open call for artists to propose public projects to Creative Time and P.S. 1 curators. Artists are invited to submit proposals at creativetime.org/programs/opendoor/index.html through January 15, and will be notified if they are scheduled for a review by January 21. After an initial review by the Creative Time curators, 35 artists will be offered 15-20 minute, private portfolio reviews conducted by the curators from both institutions, on January 23 and 24, at P.S.1. The program offers an opportunity for artists to get feedback on specific projects for the public realm. Artists may send proposals for projects in any stage of development for review at Creative Time Open Door at P.S.1, 22-25 Jackson Ave, Long Island City, NY, 11101. Artists who are selected to participate will present their projects for ten minutes each, followed by a discussion with curators about their ideas and instructive feedback on resources, opportunities, and critical relevance.
• How would you like to have Hedda Gabler performed in your own living room? We're looking for a townhouse, brownstone or any Victorian-style apartment in Manhattan. We expect this will be a cultural event, both intimate (15-20 guests per night, free admission, tickets granted on a lottery system), highly publicized in the press and supported by the Norwegian Consulate. Dates: February 10-13, 17-20, 24-27, and March 3-6. A total of 16 performances. Schedule is Wednesdays thru Saturdays. 8 to 10p. Contact Frederique Nahmani, fnahmani(at)gmail.com.

***** SPACES *****

• Two old Fluxers [me and Shalin] are in search of a new roommate to move into McCarnal House Febuary 1. Rent is $633 a month plus electric and internet, we are located at Mckibbin between Graham and Manhattan (not a McKibbin loft and no bedbugs, I promise) -- between the Montrose stop on the L, the Lorimer stop on the JMZ and the Broadway stop on the G. Requiring one month's deposit to move in. tubbybastrd(at)hotmail.com.
• Room in four bedroom available January 10 or before. $600 plus utilities (about $50). Hugenormous sunny room with Victorian molding and nooks and crannies and closet. Share with three friendly, responsible folks and a big lovable dog. Kitchen and storage closet, but no living room. Great backyard. Dog or open-minded cat OK. Two blocks from Gates J stop - 15 minutes to Manhattan; 25 by bike. Bushwick - close to 99 cent store paradise and Goodbye Blue Monday. Need someone mature, responsible, easygoing. Email Tanya at pollymorfus(at)yahoo.com.
• Sublet Available: Large room for the month of February. Located right around the corner from bustling Grand Street, on South 1st and Bedford Avenue. Super convenient and fun place to live. 10-minute walk from the L train or JMZ, or take the bus or bike over the bridge. The apartment is not renovated but charming, with eat-in kitchen, gas stove, comfy living room with full cable and Tivo. Wifi throughout, good heat. We have two cats who are very loving; it's not a great place for the allergic. A quiet, house-trained dog would be welcome, no more cats though. The large furnished front bedroom will be available for sublet for all of February while I am traveling: full-sized bed, freshly painted, two south-facing windows, wood floors. The large bedroom is $950 including utilities, or $900 if you don't mind helping out with the cats. It's a small, friendly, and safe building. Share with my roommate, a sweet mid-20s guy who works in book publishing. Contact Alita, reversibleskirt (at)gmail.com.
• $900: Gorgeous, cheap room available for five weeks from January 29 -March 6. Part of a three-bedroom apartment in Greenpoint, on Leonard Street at Meserole Avenue (equidistant from G at Nassau or Greenpoint, 10 minute walk to Bedford L). Pop around the corner for morning coffee at Eat Records, or breakfast on unreasonably cheap fruit and veges from the local markets. Roomates are two women in their 20s, one a MA student, the other a photographer. Lots of artyness. My room is the biggest of the three, and comes with a very comfy double bed, desk and lots of shelf space. Our place has been recently renovated and is very homely, with polished floorboards, new kitchen, new bathroom, but it's not huge and the soundproofing leaves a little to be desired. Best suited to a friendly-type absent of the desire for loud late-night bedroom discos. We're all super considerate of each others needs, so this will suit someone clean and easy-going. Hook yourself up -- $900 for the whole tim e which includes utilities, wireless, and a household kitty. No couples or pets, sorry. Contact Georgia, hellogeorgia(at)gmail.com.

*Two-month sublet January and February, $600 per month, nice large room on the second floor of a duplexed artloft in Bushwick, Brooklyn. Doesn't include utilities, does furniture. Check it out. Four bedrooms total, eat-in kitchen, nice large living room with video projector and wall-sized movie screen. Crazy cat. Three current roommates are: native Brooklynite and licensed NYC tour guide who knows everything about NYC. A Starbucks barista who brings home a lot of coffee. Montrealer bike mechanic who knows everything about bikes. Cool huh? Your room has low ceilings but lots of space to store your junk. Furniture includes a bed, dresser, bookshelves, makeshift desk, smaller tables. The larger apartment has fully operational kitchen, bathroom, wifi, surround sound system, board games, electric heat out of one of those huge standing heaters, bikes hanging from the ceiling, lots of fun. Good times. 27 minutes from Union Square on the L train (our stop is Halsey). Neighborhood is working class Latino and increasingly hipster. Great Mexican food, supermarket, laundry in building, parking on the street, yadda yadda. Need someone to fill the spot before the lease is up; however good chance lease will be taken over by the starsbuckser, so opportunity to stay longer is a maybe. Contact Matt, iammattlevy(at)gmail.com.

• Three queers with a row house (yes, all three floors) need a fourth roommate. $770 a month. Huge room. Steps from the 2/3/4/5/S at Franklin. Utilities vary but average about $50 per month (electricity/internet/etc), plus the oil bill (see link). Free W/D. We are busy, active people who like to use our home for projects, parties, and naps; are all radical/progressive glitter-strewn queers with complicated genders (you must be trans- and queer-friendly). Virulently anti-drama and expect you to deal with things directly and respectfully. This is a house of adults and we work around the principle of shared respect and assuming the best about each other. No pets. Contact: arielfederow(at)gmail.com.

XXXXX SPECTRE PRIORITY XXXXX

Before we had a name, the Spectre Event Horizon Group used to meet at a bar to commiserate and trade what our business friends like to call best practices. The group has expanded since then, but it remains focused on smartening the crowd mind. There are no subject limits; our favorite is the incredible sci-fi present, or anything that goes toward a better understanding of human behavior and our universe's ecology. Our simple intent is to connect good minds with as much quality mind-blowing information as we can freely locate and create a space for the informal trade of specialized investigative research, presented for the non-specialist.

The Spectre email list, which is a separate group from this column, is a moderated open forum. People are encouraged to join and to post. The list is compiled for Nonsense by J. Sinopoli. Contact us at spectre.event.horizon.group gmail com or spectregroup.org. Here's some of what came in this week:

***** So Far So Good *****

http://spectregroup.wordpress.com/2009/12/30/so-far-so-good/

U.S. Supreme Court vs 'Flying' Asian Carp http://www.fws.gov/midwest/Fisheries/hot-asian-carp-12-09.html http://www.asiancarp.org/rapidresponse/greatlakesthreat.htm

Enforcement Issues
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PdcQ56OpxNE Great Lakes Infected?
http://www.michigan.gov/documents/ag/Motion-Petition-Brief_305173_7.pdf http://jurist.law.pitt.edu/paperchase/2009/12/michigan-sues-illinois-in-supreme-court.php

Laws Of Nature
http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5gPBBiKJKfp1MbkPXxJCnNjnZCCrQD9CNR67O0 Michigan files suit in US high court over Asian carp "Michigan asked the U.S. Supreme Court on Monday to close shipping locks near Chicago to prevent Asian carp from invading the Great Lakes and endangering their $7 billion fishery. State Attorney General Mike Cox filed a lawsuit Monday with the nation's highest court against Illinois, the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers and the Metropolitan Water Reclamation District of Greater Chicago, who operate canals and other waterways that open into Lake Michigan. Bighead and silver carp from Asia have been detected in those waterways after migrating north in the Mississippi and Illinois rivers for decades. Scientists say DNA found north of the barrier suggest at least some of the carp have gotten through and may be within 6 miles of Lake Michigan. If so, the only other obstacle between them and the lake are shipping locks, which open frequently to grant passage for cargo vessels. Fifty members of Congress last week joined environmental groups in urging closure of the locks � the same demand made in Michigan's lawsuit. "The Great Lakes are an irreplaceable resource," Cox, who is seeking the Republican gubernatorial nomination in Michigan, said at a news conference in Detroit. "Thousands of jobs are at stake and we will not get a second chance once the carp enter Lake Michigan." He likened the fish to "nuclear bombs." Cox went directly to the Supreme Court because it handles disputes between states. Michigan's suit argues that continued operation of the locks represents another potential injury to the lakes. It asks the court to immediately order them closed, and to create new barriers to prevent the carp from entering the ship canal from nearby waterways during floods. "The carp invasion is a good textbook example of irreparable harm," law professor Noah Hall said. "It's unfortunate that there would be an assumption that this would make some positive resolution come sooner than is truly feasible," Metropolitan Water Reclamation District spokeswoman Jill Horist said. "Even if the locks were closed there's still a variety of ways for DNA or Asian carp to enter Lake Michigan." Messages left with the Army Corps of Engineers seeking comment were not returned."

Rivers Preventively Poisoned
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=chicago-river-poisoned-to "Two electrical barriers in the canal were erected in 2002 and 2006 to shock any fish, particularly carp, that try to swim up the canal to Lake Michigan. The newer barrier is being switched off to perform maintenance on it. To give themselves a window to complete the task and keep any carp at bay below the barrier, authorities dumped into the canal more than 2,000 pounds (900 kg) of the natural poison rotenone that prevents fish gills from absorbing oxygen. The toxin, which is used as a broad-spectrum insecticide and pesticide, kills fish and freshwater snails but does not harm other animals. It dissipates within two days, though authorities planned to introduce a neutralizing agent to speed up the process. Notre Dame University scientists recently detected carp DNA on the lake side of the barriers, which could indicate the carp have already passed them and the effort is either too little or too late. Fishermen have been asked to look out for the invasive carp on the lake side of the barriers. The DNA discovery led some environmentalists to call for river locks to be shut and ask for permanent separation of the Great Lakes from the Mississippi River watershed. Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm has indicated her state might demand locks be closed permanently."

Previously On Spectre : Viking Mice
http://spectregroup.wordpress.com/2008/10/02/viking-mice/ Cloned Aquarium Plant Takes Over Mediterranean http://spectregroup.wordpress.com/2009/02/19/hacking-nature-for-salvation-and-profit/ Death To Sparrows
http://spectregroup.wordpress.com/2007/11/08/spectre-classics-bad-moves-in-central-planning/

Invasive Species Primer
http://www.bayjournal.com/article.cfm?article=3743 Meanwhile : Carp Bow-Hunting
http://carpbusters.com/proteams_riversedge.shtml http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEIu4l4mNVQ Dystopian Ecotourism [Wear A Helmet]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdgkvlA9DHU

Proposal To Add Carp To State Prison Menus http://www.sphere.com/nation/article/invasive-asian-carp-inspire-lawsuits-extreme-archery/19296294 Louisiana Government's Cajun/Jerk Asian Carp Cooking Show http://www.lib.niu.edu/2002/oi020509.html http://www.nola.com/newsflash/index.ssf?/base/sports-164/126199962984530.xml&storylist=louisiana "The fish are easy to identify. They have small, downward-facing eyes, a stout body and protruding lower jaw. Silver carp commonly exceed 20 pounds. Record catches have approached 100 pounds, Thomas said. But the silver carp is best known for an unusual and dangerous survival behavior. When startled by the sound of a boat motor, it attempts to flee danger by jumping skyward, frequently hitting boats and people. The action has earned them the nickname, "flying carp," Massimi said. "As you can imagine, getting hit by a 50 or 60 pound carp can cause serious problems," Massimi said. The fish have been known to cause boating accidents, black eyes, bruises and more severe injuries. Trying to promote annoying invasive species as a tasty treat is a worthwhile tactic, but it might be difficult to pull off, Massimi said. Since the fish eat algae, they don't tend to bite on hooks. Chapman, however, said that might make the fish a more exciting target for anglers. "You can go bowfishing or wait for them to jump in the boat," Chapman said. "Commercial fishermen catch them in hoop-and-gill nets in Illinois." Massimi, who tried Chapman and Thomas' carp recipes at a recent state coastal meeting said the fish are delicious and taste like "fresh catfish." Silver and bighead carp have moist, white mild flesh, he said. The larger carp yield meaty fillets. But their unusual bone structure does make them difficult to clean, a drawback that can make fishermen wary. In the video, Chapman demonstrates his unique cleaning methods. He also demonstrates three cooking methods: blackened fillets, grilled fillets and a fried, bone-in preparation he calls 'flying carp wings'. "You eat the fish off the bone, just like a chicken wing," Massimi said. The fish, regardless of how they are captured or cook, do need to be put on ice quickly, he said, because they spoil easily."

Recipes (Please Submit More)
http://www.lib.niu.edu/2002/oi020509.html http://www.iisgcp.org/AsianCarp/recipes_chapman.pdf http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1NVUV8yhmU [From Kitchen of Duane Chapman, USGS Fish Biologist]

XXXXX LEARNING XXXXX

We look for the sort of classes you circled in college course catalogs but never managed to fit into your schedule. And we also look for the kind of things that no college could teach. Cheap and eclectic is the rule, though all rules get broken occasionally, and we especially love workshops, round-tables, and teachers who won't take your work out of your hands and show you how to do it right. One-time listings are categorized, with general recurring classes at the end. We thrive on your suggestions, so make sure to tell us about upcoming classes that you think are nifty-keen. Learning is compiled and edited weekly by Libby Sentz. Send listings, announcements, and corrections to her at libbysentz(at)me.com.

***** LEARNING: MONDAY, JANUARY 3 *****

Introduction to Upholstery

Learn the methods of professional (and experimental) upholstery for furniture and sculpture. This class covers upholstery methods for both reupholstering and constructing upholstered pieces from scratch, including basic sewing techniques, working with different densities of foams to create forms, stretching webbing, selecting, stretching, and tacking fabric, and covering finishing methods such as piping, tufting, tacking, and general tricks of the trade. By the first day you will complete an upholstered slip seat and by the end of the class you'll have completed a small reupholstery project or an upholstery project of your own design. Be prepared to work with sewing machines and staple guns.

Come to the first day with an idea of what you might like to do, either your own design or a piece that you would like to reupholster. It should be modest in scope -- like fixing up a bench or ottoman. We will develop these designs in class and begin construction (or deconstruction) on the second day, with completion of the projects by the end of the third day, and an optional feedback session. Led by Rebecca Carter.

Third Ward
195 Morgan Avenue, Brooklyn
7-10p, Mondays through Jan. 25
$250 members, $300 nonmembers, plus $50 materials 3rdward.com
NOTE: Mention Nonsense NYC when you register (deadline December 30) for a 10 percent discount.

***** LEARNING: Also on MONDAY, JANUARY 4 *****

Introduction to Genealogy

Learn how to trace your roots in this introduction to genealogy. Discover library and web resources for genealogical research. Register online.

Mid-Manhattan Library, Technology Training Center 455 Fifth Avenue, Fourth Floor
Manhattan
2:30-4:30p; $free
212-576-0088
nypl.org

***** LEARNING: TUESDAY, JANUARY 5 *****

Free Samba Percussion Class

The talented and delightful Carlos "Caco" Oliveira offers free samba percussion class as a program of New York Samba School. Learn to play several samba instruments and each instrument's role in the ensemble. Caco also incorporates discussion of regional differences, history and evolution of samba school rhythms and arrangements, and anecdotes about his experiences with samba schools in Brazil. Free classes will be offered Tuesdays through the end of January. Go to the building office for the studio number upon arrival.

Empire Rehearsal Studios at the Ice Pavilion 47-32 32nd Place, Long Island City
7-9p; $free ($5 to use the instruments) 347-458-4681

***** LEARNING: Also on TUESDAY, JANUARY 5 *****

Urban Garden Design

Using a small space to the best advantage is the aspiration of many urban gardeners. In this class, learn how to complete a thorough site analysis, work with space, become acquainted with many materials and techniques, and then select appropriate plants to use in your design for an urban garden.

Brooklyn Botanic Garden
1000 Washington Avenue, Brooklyn
6-9p for six Tuesdays (Jan. 5, 12, 19 and Feb. 2, 9, 16) $237 member, $257 nonmember (includes materials) 718-623-7220
bbg.org

***** LEARNING: WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 6 *****

Free Josef Albers Color Workshop

In conjunction with the exhibition "Bauhaus 1919�1933: Workshops for Modernity," Bauhaus Lab is a new interactive space that reimagines the historic Bauhaus classrooms in which students and teachers of many forms of art experimented with innovative pedagogical approaches. In this section, the color theory of Josef Albers, one of the most prominent painters and art instructors of the twentieth century, is the focus. Albers developed a highly specialized color theory and teaching method that was immensely influential to generations of European and American artists, designers, and architects. One major component of his thinking was the concept of the relativity of color�the idea that color changes in relation to its surroundings and the condition of the viewer. Using colored paper, this hands-on workshop, taught by artist and painting conservator Corey D�Augustine, employs Albers�s teaching methods to develop sensitivity to colors and an understanding of how they interact with e ach other and with the eye. First-come, first-served. All materials are provided. Ages 13 and up.

The Museum of Modern Art
11 West 53rd Street, Manhattan
11:30a, 12:30p, and 1:30p; $free
212-708-9400
moma.org/visit/calendar/events/7617

***** LEARNING: Also on WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 6 *****

Intro to Body-Oriented Psychotherapy

Body-Oriented Psychotherapy is for those who are looking for personal growth or those who are in emotional pain. The theory behind this approach is that emotional stress, bodily tension, and problems such as anxiety and depression can stem from habitually "holding in" painful feelings such as fear, anger, and sorrow. By understanding the origins of these feelings and getting compassionate support in releasing them completely, the person transforms their pain and stress into self-love, self-confidence, inner peace, and the ability to experience pleasure and joy in life. Coming fully alive in the ability to express oneself frees the body, opens the heart, raises the spirit, and helps us meet life's challenges with optimism and creativity. Led by Brian Schulz.

East West Living
78 5th Avenue, Manhattan
7-8:45p; $10
eastwestnyc.com

***** LEARNING: THURSDAY, JANUARY 7 *****

Sewing Basics: Going Green

Learn to sew on a machine and create something that will not only be beautiful and functional, but also good for the environment. Whether you are a first-time sewer or looking to refresh your skills, you will learn the sewing basics and also construct an eco-friendly tote bag. Emphasis will be placed on imagination, craftsmanship, and having lots of fun.

Textile Arts Center
Museum of Arts and Design
2 Columbus Circle, Manhattan
6-9p for 5 sessions on Thursdays through Feb. 4 $175 plus $25 materials fee
718-369-0222
textileartscenter.com

***** LEARNING: ONGOING *****

NOTE: The Ongoing section of LEARNING now runs only on the first Friday of each month, so be sure to mark all classes of interest in your calendar.

BODY

• Contemporary dance, hip-hop, bellydance, and much more at Bedford Stuyvesant Restoration Corporation. Brooklyn. Various days and times. $12. 718-636-6969
• Tao Yoga and Tsa Lung (The Shamanic Yoga of Zhang Zhung) led by Lama Ji at Surreal Estate. Brooklyn. Tao Yoga Saturdays at 10a; Tsa Lung Tuesdays at 5:30p. $donation. surrealestatenyc(at)gmail.com
• African, Afro-Caribbean, Samba dance and much more at the new Djoniba Dance and Drum Center. Manhattan. Daily, various times. $17 per class. djoniba.com
• Free African dance classes with Sandella at Booker T. Washington Middle School gym. Manhattan. Fridays 6:30-8p. $free. 212-942-3566. (Class airs Wednesdays 2p on Time Warner Channel 56.)
• Congolese dance with Funmilayo at Resurgent Fitness, Brooklyn, Wednesdays 6:30-8p; at Boy's Harbor Conservatory, Manhattan, Thursdays 7:30-9p; and at Alvin Ailey Extension, Manhattan, Sundays 3-4:30p. $varies. fushadance(at)aol.com or krosebud14(at)hotmail.com
• Open company class with Perceptions Contemporary Dance Company, intermediate/advanced. Brooklyn. Thursdays 5-6:15p. $12. RSVP at perceptionsdance.com.
• Balkan folk dance at the Hungarian House. Manhattan. Wednesdays 6:30-8p; $12. nycfolkdance.org
• Bujinkan Budo Taijutsu at Triskelion Arts. Brooklyn. Training is centered on jissen gata combat fighting. Membership is selective, but you may attend the first class free. Saturdays 5-7p, Sundays 2�4p. triskelionarts.org/events.htm#classesoffered
• Introduction to House Dance with Linda La Naija at Black River Dance. Harlem. Fridays 6-7:30p; $14. blackriverdance.com
• Congolese dance with Eto'o Coreen at PMT Dance Studio. Manhattan. Fridays 7-8:30p; $14. congo_dancer(at)yahoo.com
• The Art of the Samurai Sword with Raab Rashi at The Workman�s Circle/NYR Studios. Manhattan. Thursdays 6-7p; $free intro lesson, $15 beyond. swordclass.blogspot.com
• Capoeira, a Brazilian martial art and dance, with Capoeira Angola Quintal. Manhattan. Various days; $15. afrobrazilarts.org/newyorkcapoeira/index.htm
• Parkour workshops. Manhattan. Sundays 4p; $15+. nyparkour.com
• Aerial yoga. Manhattan and Williamsburg. Various days; $20. aerialyoga.com
• Group tightwire walking, foot-juggling, and more at Trapeze Loft. Williamsburg. Sundays 5-6p; $25. thetrapezeloft.com
• Trampoline at Streb Lab for Action Mechanics. Brooklyn. Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays 7-8:30p; $25. streb.org/V2/school/adults.html
• Co-ed nonsexual naked yoga. Manhattan. Various days; $?. groups.yahoo.com/group/coyoga/

BRAIN

• Free open craft/hack nights at NYC Resistor. Brooklyn. Thursdays 6-9p; $free. nycresistor.com/2008/11/22/open-craft-hack-nights-on-thursdays/
• Free math studies at the School of Mathematics, which cultivates a natural, stress-free environment where everyone can explore, study, and discover mathematics. Prior knowledge is not assumed. Brooklyn. Various days; $free. thewe.net/math
• Writing with constraints at the Writhings Society. Practice writing with arbitrary, sometimes mathematical, rules invented by the French group Oulipo and others; no experience necessary. Brooklyn. Wednesdays 6:30-8:30p; $5+. proteusgowanus.com

HANDS

• Studio Sundays: Intergenerational Programs at Museum of Arts & Design. Manhattan. Sundays 2-4p. $10 (includes admission and materials) 212-956-3535.madmuseum.org
• Females-only African drum class at Oduduwa Cultural Arts Center. Jamaica, Queens. Sundays 11a-noon. $10. balletintlafricans.com
• Free Craft-On (fun with yarn, thread, and more) with Church of Craft. Brooklyn. Various days; $free. churchofcraft.org/2008/10/01/welcome-nyc-crafters/
• Free bicycle repair classes at Time's Up! Manhattan and Brooklyn. Various days. $free. times-up.org/index.php?page=bike-co-op
• Free home-improvement classes, from tiling to drywall repair, at Home Depot stores. Saturdays and Sundays; $free. homeimproverclub.com/workshops.aspx?Type=3
• The Fixers Collective is a social experiment in improvisational fixing and mending. Participants bring their broken objects and put them on a large, common fixing table and share ideas and techniques for repairing, mending, enhancing, or repurposing the objects. Brooklyn. Thursdays 6-9p; $5. proteusgowanus.com/main/fixers-collective
• Beading classes at Brooklyn Bead Box. Various days; $varies. brooklynbeadbox.com/classes.html
• Classes in the needle arts at Brooklyn General Store. Various days; $varies. brooklyngeneral.com/shop/classes/
• Knitting and spinning classes at the Yarn Tree. Various days; $varies. theyarntree.com/studio/classes/
• Figure drawing at Brooklyn Artists Gym. Mondays 6:30-9:30p and Saturdays 12-3p; $8+. brooklynartistsgym.com/events.html#workshops
• Mosaic workshops. Manhattan. Wednesdays 1-4p and 6-9p; $100 for four-class workshop. newyorkartworld.com/things/things-mosaic.html
• Wheel and handbuilding classes at La Mano Pottery. Manhattan. Various days; $300 for eight-week class. lamanopottery.com

GRAB BAG

• Study Hall (a workplace for writers and thinkers) at Proteus Gowanus. Brooklyn. Mondays through Fridays, 10a-5p. $50 a month, includes free WiFi, free coffee, and free home-baked bread. proteusgowanus.com
• 3rd Ward offers multi- and interdisciplinary courses in visual art, technology, and fabrication. Various days; $varies. 3rdward.com/classes
• Gearilla!, a street theater workshop (on bikes). Various locations. Tuesdays 2p; $10+. monicahunken.com/classes.html
• Aerial classes (silks, trapeze, lyra, pole dance, ballet) at the Sky Box at House of Yes. Brooklyn. Monday through Saturday; $15. theskybox.org/classes
• Creative arts classes at Spoke the Hub. Brooklyn. Various days; $varies. spokethehub.org
• First aid for cats and dogs. Manhattan. Saturdays 10-2p; $65 (if purchased online). nyredcross.org/viewclass.php/prmCID/32/month/08/year/2009

XXXXX HELP XXXXX

It is a wonderful thing, to help. Helping strengthens communities and allows you to meet new friends. With that in mind, we look for one-day volunteer opportunities with no long-term commitment required. We want to be open to fresh ideas and think of help in a broad way. These listings could include anything from a large-scale day-long service project to a local theatre company that needs volunteers for load-in; from an artist looking for film extras to a community garden that needs a few extra hands. Our goal is simply to help groups or individuals that serve the greater good in small but significant ways. Unique and interesting job opportunities are acceptable fare for this section as well. Looking for ways to help out? Need volunteers to get your own community project off the ground? Know of any existing opportunities? Send your requests to Rob Voigt at robpastyvoigt(at)gmail.com.

XXXXX NONSENSE XXXXX

nonsense nyc is a discriminating resource for independent art, weird events, strange happenings, unique parties, and senseless culture in new york city.

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we now accept donations to cover the costs of producing this list, and suggest $5 a year from individual readers or $20 a year if we list your events. to be clear, this is not a traditional subscription, but a donation because you believe that independent artists should support other independent artists. if you've ever paid for a ticket to see your friend's band you know what we mean. you can make donations here: nonsensenyc.com/special/. and thank you.

XXXXX END XXXXX

Even nonsense has a right to live.