From: "Jeff Stark" <jstark@nonsensenyc.com>
Subject: nonsensenyc: 6.11 to 6.17
Date: June 11th 2010

Friday, June 11
* ABC No Rio Zine Library Benefit Party, Manhattan * Ghostbusters Bullesque, Manhattan
* First Ever Gay Gay Gay Party! Brooklyn * The Red Bastard and Cactus: The Seduction, Manhattan * A Love Craft: Art Inspired by Monsters, Madness, and Mythos, Brooklyn * School of the Future, Manhattan

Saturday, June 12
* Splendor in the Green, Manhattan
* The Return of the Best Party of All Time Ever Plus Infinity * World Naked Bike Ride, Williamsburg
* Figment, Governor's Island
* Transport Phase III With Underwater NY, Brooklyn * HiChristina presents: It's the Day of the Big Game: Play, Manhattan * Pie Lovers Unite, Manhattan
* Trollmates, Brooklyn
* Project Bona Fide Annual NYC Summer Benefits, Brooklyn * Xanapols, Brooklyn

Sunday, June 13
* The Art Monkeys Ball, Brooklyn
* Pirate RRRRRide, Manhattan

Tuesday, June 15
* Movies With Roots in Hell, Brooklyn

Wednesday, June 16
* Bicycle Film Festival New York, Manhattan

Thursday, June 17
* Tale, Brooklyn
* Noche de Bailar, Brooklyn

Wishlist
* Mermaids

Spectre
* Non-Carbon-Based

Learning
* Texas Hold 'Em

Help
* The Philharmonic in Central Park

NOTE: For some navigation help, or an explanation for what this is all about, scroll all the way down to NONSENSE. You'll find snarky editorial comments and little bits of praise littered throughout this list. These nuggets are marked with all caps, like this: NOTE. Also, we make a lot of mistakes, especially with dates; you should always double check our work. And you can donate to this project at nonsensenyc.com/special.

XXXXX COVER ART XXXXX

A forest in a carpet.

XXXXX FRIDAY, JUNE 11 XXXXX

ABC No Rio Zine Library Benefit Party

With Just Seeds, Mac McGill, Chester, and Veveritse. Plus party party party with your favorite zine librarians.

ABC No Rio
156 Rivington Street, between Clinton and Suffolk, Manhattan 7:30p; $3-20, sliding scale
abcnorio.org

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Ghostbusters Bullesque

I'm in a group called Epic Win Burlesque, and we are doing a Ghostbusters Bullesque show on Friday and Saturday night. I'll include the promo info below, but as for your rule of three, there will be burlesque, magic, and live nerd core rap.

Here's the info: Summer is upon us, and with it comes Hollywood blockbuster season. This month, the shameless geeks of EPIC WIN pay homage to one of the biggest popcorn flicks of all time, the 1984 Ivan Reitman masterpiece Ghostbusters. Paranormal investigators Nelson Lugo and Schaffer the Darklord host an expedition into the creepiest corners of New York City in search of things that go bump-n-grind in the night. Your PKE meters will spike as the boys encounter sexy and spooky performances from the likes of NYC burlesque superstars Bonnie Voy'age, Lefty Lucy, Miss Mary Cyn, BB Heart, Victoria Privates and Magdalena Fox! Plus, stage kitten Jenny C'est Quoi as Janine Melnitz.

This titillating tribute to the oft-quoted classic promises nerdery and nudity with appearances from Zuul, Gozer, the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man and many other foxy full-torso apparitions. Don't cross the streams.

The Tank
354 West 45th Street, Manhattan
10p; $15
Continues SATURDAY
StorybookBurlesque.com
brownpapertickets.com/event/112286

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

The infamous House of Yes presents:

First Ever Gay Gay Gay Party!

Kick off Pride Week by welcoming award winning queer hip-hop/dance artist Jasper James back to Brooklyn for the premier of her latest music video Love with live performances by Jasper James, Backspace, and Don PV. The night will feature aerial performances by Lady Circus and sideshow acts by Brooklyn's finest performance artists and acrobats.

Sideshow acts by: Anya Sapozhnikova, Kae Burke, Matthew Camp, Lauren Howe, Kid Akimbo, Jackie Carlson, Dan Paul Roberts, Teresa Nasty, Kyle Rostan, Nikki Borodi, Kathryne Van Asshee, Jade Curtis, Madalena Pak-Kei Mak, Brett Lord, Dilan Walpola, and Jade Curtis.

House of Yes
342 Maujer Street, between Morgan and Willoughby, Brooklyn L train to Grand station
10:30 doors; $10

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

The Red Bastard and Cactus: The Seduction

A feast of seductive comedic genius. Devised theater at its best. Three nights only. With Red Bastard and Cactus: The Seduction (from Melbourne, Australia).

Under St Marks Theatre
94 St Marks Place, Manhattan
7-8p Red Bastard, 8:30-9:30p; $18, or $25 for both shows Continues SATURDAY
smarttix.com/venueListing.aspx?venuecode=ST.74 redbastard.com

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

A Love Craft: Art Inspired by Monsters, Madness, and Mythos

The “cosmic horror” of Howard Phillips Lovecraft, all written between 1917 and 1935, has become more popular and seemingly more contemporary with each year. Observatory and Dylan Thuras are excited to announce A Love Craft, a group show of art inspired by the works of H.P. Lovecraft, and the themes of monsters, madness and mythos. Until we are beyond space and time wine and light snacks will be served.

Observatory
543 Union Street, at Nevins, Brooklyn (enter through the Proteus Gowanus Gallery) R, M trains to Union Street station
7p; $free
observatoryroom.org/2010/05/26/exhibition-opening-a-love-craft/

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

School of the Future

An intergenerational free school that will open this July for one month in Bushwick/Greenpoint, Brooklyn. Dinner, sunset, old school hip hop DJ, karaoke radio, folk singer, sunset, river, marching band, general sense of community and optimistic feelings.

Everything will seem insignificant next to the sunset by the river, and will reverberate off of the FDR plus homemade ice cream and infinite gratitude.

East 23rd Street, at the East River, Manhattan 7-10p; $5-$20 sliding scale
us1.campaign-archive.com/?u=78951d5f7a41b503d7251a43c&id=5d14838bce&e= schoolofthefuture.org

XXXXX SATURDAY, JUNE 12 XXXXX

Splendor in the Green

A Fundraiser for Build It Green.NYC and Solar One. So Build It Green is five years old and we're having a fundraiser and we're trying to get a bunch of people there. Are you free? It's going to be a great party -- organic food, live music, dancing -- for a really good cause.

Are you concerned with the future of the earth? Do you support renewable energy resources, reuse of building materials and super fine partying by the river? Do you like barbecue, excellent live music and mad green goodie bags? Are you doing anything today?

Featured performances by Amayo's Fu-Arkestra, playing a unique combination of Chinese Lion Rhythms and Nigerian Afro-Beat -- plus a bangin' DJ set by DJ Tony Lowe of Cool Places Soundsystem. Come eat barbecues and salads of delicious organic vegetables and special organic lamb from our friends up at the New York area farm Andes Sprout Society.. There is also going to be a silent auction with incredible dinners for two from fancy restaurants, great green gift items and cool local services, so come bid and help support the cause.

Stuyvesant Cove Park
East 23rd Street, at the East River, Manhattan 6-10p; $20 advance, $25 door
bignyc.org

***** Also on SATURDAY ****

The Return of the Best Party of All Time Ever Plus Infinity

With: A rooftop swimming pool. Three dance floors. Two roofs. A giant projector screen playing crazy riot footage from around the world. With DJs Dirty Finger, Spanky, Hirothajap, and Skitsnygg.

Hosted by: The Passion Faction, Montreal Street Fashion, Ali and Lacie, Fire to the Prisons Magazine.

Warning: While we support graffiti and vandalism of many kinds, this will not be tolerated at the event! If your seen tagging inside or anywhere on the block, you will be asked to leave. Because we are going to have to pay for it or clean it up.

Email for location
Williamsburg, Brooklyn
10p-4a; $10
18 and over
passionfaction@gmail.com

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

World Naked Bike Ride

World Naked Bike Ride is in its seventh year internationally. This will be NYC's second year fighting indecent exposure to toxic pollution and dangerous vehicular traffic. Arrive early for professional body painting.

Meet at Grand Ferry Park between Grand Street, West River Street, and the East River in Williamsburg, Brooklyn 5p meet up, 6:15-6:45 ride; $free
wiki.worldnakedbikeride.org/index.php?title=New_York_City

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Figment

A free, annual celebration of participatory art and culture where everything is possible. For one weekend each summer, it transforms Governors Island into a large-scale collaborative artwork and then it’s gone.

What to Expect: Art and activities in every medium available -- especially the art and activities that you bring. Feel free to preview a map of all planned artwork and full schedule of activities. What to Bring: Whatever you need for a day of fun.

Governors Island
Leaves from the Governors Island Ferry Building, 10 South Street, Manhattan 10a–6p; $free
Continues through SUNDAY
figmentproject.org/2010/

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Transport Phase III With Underwater NY

Join us for the opening party of our third and final phase of Transport, a yearlong exploration through art, artifacts, books and events of How We Get There in the never-ending journey toward our destinations.

Phase III is curated by our partner, Underwater NY, a creative conduit between artists and a New York City landscape harboring countless underwater objects and phenomena.

UNY encourages a new consideration of the waters that surround, splice and serve our city. Extracting directly from the arteries of transportation that have shaped New York since its start, UNY invites artists to imagine previously unconsidered depths. Wine and light hors d'oeuvres will be served.

Proteus Gowanus
543 Union Street, Brooklyn
6-8p; $free

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

HiChristina presents: It's the Day of the Big Game: Play

Welcome to the HiChristina Draft. Play the made-up Big Game today. All you need to participate is a rule from any game you like. For example, you can't walk unless you bounce the ball (basketball). Or a straight beats a flush (poker). Or, each person has 60 seconds to talk to their partner (speed dating). Pick a rule from any game and come ready to play (no athletic skill required). We'll combine all the rules into one great game with halftime, commercials, background feel good stories, and the whole nine yards. We know you were the best pickoleeno player in your college league, now it's time for the big league. Play and help make up the rules to this wild conglomeration of pastime sports. The game will be filmed with two action cameras and shown at a future HiChristina event: Watch the Big Game. This event takes place at HiChristina and a park nearby.

HiChristina
163 Eldridge Street, at Delancey, Manhattan 4-7p; $10 atmospheric snacks provided, BYOB RSVP: fritzandchristinagmail.com

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Pie Lovers Unite

A fundraiser for BK Farmyards Youth Farm at the High School for Public Service hosted by Jimmy's No. 43 will bring together 20 pie enthusiasts to compete for bragging rights for the best sweet and savory pies in the city. Gourmet goodies from sponsors Jimmy's No. 43, Whisk, and more will be awarded to the winners.

Attendees can sample an assortment of pies and participate in a raffle to join Stacey Murphy for one day as an urban farmer, fresh eggs from BK Farmyards' egg CSA, and reusable grocery bags from Bags for the People. A live band will join in to sweeten the festivities.

BK Farmyards is a Brooklyn based decentralized farming network increasing access to affordable, fresh food and providing new local jobs in urban agriculture. They partner with homeowners, developers, schools, and organizations to transform idle land into farmyard. All proceeds from this event go toward developing a 1-acre plot at the High School for Public Service in Crown Heights, Brooklyn. BK Farmyards has incorporated science, health, physical education, and art into the school curriculum. In addition to participating in after-school volunteer days on the farm, the students have established a Farm Club, and they will work on the farm through a summer youth employment program to learn sustainable agriculture and community leadership.

Jimmy's No. 43
43 East 7th Street, Manhattan
1-5p; $20 door, first come first pie
stacey@bkfarmyards.com
bkfarmyards.com

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Cheryl (the dance party that will ruin your life) presents:

Trollmates

Look into our strangely geometric eyes. Touch our jewels. The drapes don't match the carpet because we lack genitalia. Our fixed joints won't prevent us from dancing ourselves to death. Imagine a world where trolls can experience love and heartbreak. Stop laughing. Join us on the Bell House dance floor for South Brooklyn's best troll-and-romance-themed dance party. Need costume ideas? Did you eat a brain tumor for breakfast? Dress like a troll. Duh. Or dress like a troll on fire.

DJ Salubrious Sassafras spins the best straight-friendly gay high energy dance music that you have every heard in your entire life from 11pm-1am. That’s when Lloydski takes over with an eclectic dance dance dance set that will make you spontaneously combust. Trust us. We love you.

Bell House
149 7th Street, Brooklyn
11p-4a; $5 cover, $10 after midnight.
718 643 6510
thebellhouseny.com/
cherylwillruinyourlife.info

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Project Bona Fide Annual NYC Summer Benefits

Project Bona Fide is throwing its annual NYC Summer Benefits to support our work toward sustaining culture through agro-ecology, community correlated outreach, and food forest projects in Nicaragua. Music, massage, acupuncture, and delicious treats.

The Backyard Garden
69 Hamilton Avenue between Van Brunt and Summit, Brooklyn 1-6p; $20
projectbonafide.com/

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Xanapols

Xanapols movement brings shamanistic energy to the party scene with the purpose of uniting the tribe and reconnect to our mother earth. The night will be filled with fairies, gods, goddesses and otherworldly beings all getting down to the beats of DJ Tony C and Barney Iller. The night will commence with a ceremonial drum circle to be followed by some of New York's best underground bands ranging from world music to hip hop. Come dressed in your highest expression. Get a tattoo. Get painted. Get down. One Love.

Performing: Reign of the Elephant, Queens Rise, Revolution Live, Cyphered Threads, Unitribe, G Truth Now, Madison light Installation, LQ Live Art, Legendary Fractal Artists C&C Ench, Featured non-verbal films by Richard Sidley and Fanch Pichon and much much more.

House of Yes
342 Majer Street, Brooklyn
8p doors; $10 dressed in your highest expression, $15 door xanapols.com

XXXXX SUNDAY, JUNE 12 XXXXX

Dr. Sketchy's presents:

The Art Monkeys Ball

In the 1920s, Parisian art students and models overtook the streets in the Bal des Qua't'z'Arts It was a riotous, costumed end-of-the-semester celebration immortalized in Henry and June. The Art Monkey's Ball resurrects the tradition for a new century.

The Art Monkey's Ball takes the Dr. Sketchy's cabaret meets art school formula and puts it on overdrive. Artists will gather at The Red Lotus Room, a Brooklyn speakeasy, to draw burlesque queens and aerialists, caged Art Monkeys and dancers covered in little more than paint. Cigarette girls will deal art supplies. Guests will smoke hookah, consume pastel French macarons and absinthe. Mass games of Exquisite Corpse will be played, art students will become models, and the space will be transformed into an installation, with gigantic Molly Crabapple creatures capering over the walls. The Art Monkey's Ball is a surreal, decadent explosion that will change the way you look at drawing.

Red Lotus Room
893 Bergen Street, Brooklyn
6-10p; $15 online or in costume, $20 street clothes drsketchy.com

***** Also on SUNDAY *****

Pirate RRRRRide

Descend on Governor's Island for Figment Festival. Beware yee artsy landlubbers. The pirates will invade Figment Festival on Governor's Island.

Meet at ABC No Rio, 156 Rivington, Manhattan 10:30a; $free
figmentproject.org/2010/

XXXXX TUESDAY, JUNE 15 XXXXX

Movies With Roots in Hell

Copenhagen-based expat Jack Stevenson has been one of the secret forces behind film culture in Europe for over a decade and a half, distributing the work of American filmmakers on the Continent, curating exhibitions from his legendary collection of 16mm and 35mm rarities, and writing on figures like William Castle, Martha Colburn, Jon Moritsugu, John Waters, George and Mike Kuchar, Lars Von Trier and others in his books.

For Movies with Roots in Hell, Stevenson brings to Brooklyn a mind-bending, all-16mm compendium of coming attractions, short subjects, clips, and fragments inspired by his comprehensive study Addicted: The Myth and Menace of Drugs in Film (2000). Spanning sixty years. Taken as a whole, the program constitutes nothing less than a subterranean history of psychoactive American cinema.

177 Livingston Street, Brooklyn
7:30p; $7

XXXXX WEDNESDAY, JUNE 16 XXXXX

Bicycle Film Festival New York

The Bicycle Film Festival is a celebration of bicycles through film, art and music.

Anthology Film Archives:
32 2nd Avenue, at Second Street, Manhattan Various times; $10 per program, $50 festival pass bicyclefilmfestival.com/new-york/

XXXXX THURSDAY, JUNE 17 XXXXX

Tale

What happens when we revisit the fairy tales of our youth? Do they become personal, political, sexy, liberating, raucous -- or real?

An eclectic variety show of bands, aerialists, performance artists, animated short films, poets, and dancers -- tale-tellers all -- follow the red-haired orphan Petaluma as she encounters manifold re-inventions of, meditations on, and responses to classic fairy and folk tales.

Musicians/Bands: What Time Is It, Mr. Fox?, Walter Sickert and the Army of Broken Toys, Goli, Box Five, Gem Club, Ginger Ibex. Animators: Ruth Lingford, Daniel Sousa, Tiffanie Hsu, Daniel Lobser, Lily Fang. Aerialists: Eileen Little, Ellie Steingraeber, Lisa Natoli, Kristin Geneve Young, Chriselle Tidrick. Dancers/performance artists: Kelley Donovan, Carla Stangenberg and Laura Fortune, Matthew Z. Kessler. Spoken Word: Anne Fiero, Joseph Salvatore.

Galapagos Art Space
16 Main Street, Brooklyn
8p; $15
21 and over
mikacooper@gmail.com
718 222 8500
poisonpeach.com/tale

***** Also on THURSDAY *****

Noche de Bailar

Salsa, bachata, merengue. Event featuring Johnny Louisa of the Bushwick-based Enixe Dance Studio. Organic popcorn, snacks, and $3 beer specials.

Bushwick Starr
207 Starr Street, between Irving and Wycoff, Brooklyn 7:30p doors, 8p free beginner salsa lesson, 9p general dancing begins; $10 bushwickfoodcoop.wordpress.com/

XXXXX UPCOMING XXXXX

• Golden Angel Waltz Orchestra presents the Waltz Ball, June 19
• Winkel and Balktick present Campfire, June 19
• The Golden Angel Waltz Orchestra presents the Waltz Ball, June 19
• Mermaid Parade, June 19
• Lumen, June 26

XXXXX ONGOING XXXXX

Nonsense is too long. The great thing about the internet is that it doesn't really cost much to run long listings and exhaustive descriptions. It turns out that's ... exhausting. After several complaints and a little deliberation, we're trying a new format: On the first Friday of the month we will run updated ongoing listings in each section: events, learning, and help. Other weeks we're going for leaner, meaner sections. If you're desperate for something to do on an off-Tuesday night we suggest you either look back a few issues ago in your inbox, or poke through our online archives, which you can find under the subscribe page.

Also, a note about better rock shows. Nonsense does not straight list rock shows in New York unless they occur in tandem with puppet shows or jump rope tournaments or in subway tunnels or in graveyards. For listings of good shows, especially shows that feature independent bands at quality venues like Death by Audio and those booked by hard-working promoters like Todd P or Sleep When Dead, consult resources like ohmyrockness.com, brooklynvegan.com/, sleepwhendeadnyc.com/calendar/, or the lively New York Happenings listserve on Yahoo groups launch.groups.yahoo.com/group/nyhappenings/. For the most exhaustive list of underground shows at unusual venues, track down a copy of the extremely useful -- and handsome -- Showpaper.

XXXXX WISHLIST XXXXX

What have you been wishing for? Collaborators, grant monies, a new home? Please send brief listings to Alita at alitanonsensenyc.com. We only list available apartments, lofts, studios, and one-off rentals -- not spaces wanted.

***** ARTY STUFF *****

• Hungry March Band cordially invites you to come painted/dressed up in gold and white and join us in the Mermaid Parade on Saturday, June 19. To come dance and prance, just RSVP a reply to this message by today, Friday, including your full name and phone number even if I have it already. If you have a friend or two who want to come dance, I need their emails, full names, and phone numbers. More details and costuming/theme info to come soon, to those who RSVP. It sounds like they are charging most paraders this time, but not those of us who are signed up with HMB. Contact: Libby, libby(at)nonsensenyc.com. P.S. Don't come if you hate boobies.

***** SPACES *****

• Sunny Two-Bedroom Top Floor of Private Home Available: Bushwick, July 1. The whole top floor of our two-family home is available for $1,450. Sunny, pretty railroad apartment in Bushwick with bonus small bedroom/office. Tall ceilings. Free WiFi, heat, water, gas. It's good for roommates (you don't have to walk through each other's rooms), but it's perfect for a couple. Close to Myrtle-Wyckoff L/M train, Gates J. Contact libby(at)nonsensenyc.com.
• Sublet Available June 15-July 15. Small bedroom and large studio/ private den package with lush green indoor and outdoor gardens. There is a possibility of a third room being open as well. Share with artist team Chunklundt. Both of us will be traveling during the time period, so you will be sharing with only one of us at a time. Roof deck veranda, Living room/dining room, kitchen. This is a three-bedroom apartment on the top floor of a two-story townhouse. We hope to find someone to stay from June 15-July 15. $875, including utilities. Please write back with a detailed personal statement about yourself. International Travelers are welcomed. Contact Elizabeth, ebentley9(at)gmail.com.
• Short-term, fully furnished room available in loft building on Spencer Street between Myrtle and Willoughby. Utilities (gas, electric and wireless internet) are included. Furniture includes a bed, dresser, large bookshelf and clothes rack. Dates are flexible: end of June/mid-July through end of August/early September. $725/month or $200/week.You may rent the room for the entire period or by the week, to be agreed on in advance. No deposit is required, but you should be prepared to pay rent upfront once we decide on dates. Building includes laundry facilities, mail and package service, excellent superintendent. Loft includes outdoor patio, two bedrooms, one bathroom, kitchen and living area with lots of light, cappuccino machine and extra loft bed for guests. Closest train is G at Myrtle/Willoughby or Bedford/Nostrand(equidistant). Also local and express busses (B54, B38) to the A/C/F and Q/B/M/R trains. You will be sharing with one woman, 29 years, who is very busy and like s things clean! You should be an honest, fair and basically happy person who pays rent and bills on time. That's it! Please contact Lauren at grrl.lola(at)gmail.com or Fanny at fanny.schmid(at)gmail.com.

XXXXX SPECTRE PRIORITY XXXXX

Before we had a name, the Spectre Event Horizon Group used to meet at a bar to commiserate and trade what our business friends like to call best practices. The group has expanded since then, but it remains focused on smartening the crowd mind. There are no subject limits; our favorite is the incredible sci-fi present, or anything that goes toward a better understanding of human behavior and our universe's ecology. Our simple intent is to connect good minds with as much quality mind-blowing information as we can freely locate and create a space for the informal trade of specialized investigative research, presented for the non-specialist.

The Spectre email list, which is a separate group from this column, is a moderated open forum. People are encouraged to join and to post. The list is compiled for Nonsense by J. Sinopoli. Contact us at spectre.event.horizon.group gmail com or spectregroup.org. Here's some of what came in this week:

***** Non-Carbon-Based ******

spectregroup.wordpress.com/2010/06/10/non-carbon-based-life/

The Simplest Answer Is Often Correct
nasa.gov/topics/solarsystem/features/titan20100603.html What is Consuming Hydrogen and Acetylene on Titan? "Two new papers based on data from NASA's Cassini spacecraft scrutinize the complex chemical activity on the surface of Saturn's moon Titan. While non-biological chemistry offers one possible explanation, some scientists believe these chemical signatures bolster the argument for a primitive, exotic form of life or precursor to life on Titan's surface. According to one theory put forth by astrobiologists, the signatures fulfill two important conditions necessary for a hypothesized "methane-based life." One key finding comes from a paper that shows hydrogen molecules flowing down through Titan's atmosphere and disappearing at the surface. Another paper maps hydrocarbons on the Titan surface and finds a lack of acetylene. This lack of acetylene is important because that chemical would likely be the best energy source for a methane-based life on Titan. One interpretation of the acetylene data is that the hydrocarbon is being consumed as food. On Titan, where temperatures are arou nd minus 290 degrees Fahrenheit, a methane-based organism would have to use a substance that is liquid as its medium for living processes, but not water itself. Water is frozen solid on Titan's surface and much too cold to support life as we know it. The list of liquid candidates is very short: liquid methane and related molecules like ethane. While liquid water is widely regarded as necessary for life, there has been extensive speculation published in the scientific literature that this is not a strict requirement. In addition Cassini's spectrometer detected an absence of water ice on the Titan surface, but loads of benzene and another material, which appears to be an organic compound that scientists have not yet been able to identify. "Titan's atmospheric chemistry is cranking out organic compounds that rain down on the surface so fast that even as streams of liquid methane and ethane at the surface wash the organics off, the ice gets quickly covered again," Clark said. "All that implies Titan is a dynamic place where organic chemistry is happening now.""

Where Water Is Rock: Methane-Based Life dailygalaxy.com/my_weblog/2010/03/life-of-saturns-titan-could-it-be-methane-based.html "Saturn’s giant moon Titan has water frozen as hard as granite and Great Lakes-sized bodies of fed by a complete liquid cycle, much like the hydrological cycle on Earth, but made up of methane and ethane rather than on water. Methane-natural gas-assumes an Earth-like role of water on Titan. It exists in enough abundance to condense into rain and form puddles on the surface within the range of temperatures that occur on Titan. "The ironic thing on Titan is that although it's much colder than Earth, it actually acts like a super-hot Earth rather than a snowball Earth, because at Titan temperatures, methane is more volatile than water vapor is at Earth temperatures," even going so far as to call Titan's climate 'tropical', even though it sounds odd for a moon that orbits Saturn more than nine times farther from the sun than Earth. But on Titan, which rotates only once every 16 days, "the tropical weather system extends to the entire planet.""

Non-Hypothetical
sci-tech-today.com/story.xhtml?story_id=73778 Bacteria Suited for Life on Mars Discovered "Researchers have discovered that methane-eating bacteria survive in a unique spring located on Axel Heiberg Island in Northern Canada. The Canadian spring's sub-zero water is so salty it doesn't freeze and it has no consumable oxygen in it. There are, however, big bubbles of methane that come to the surface, which had provoked the researchers' curiosity as to whether the gas was being produced geologically or biologically and whether anything could survive in such an extreme hypersaline sub-zero environment. "We were surprised that we did not find methanogenic bacteria that produce methane at Lost Hammer," Whyte said. "But we did find other very unique anaerobic organisms -- organisms that survive by essentially eating methane and probably breathing sulfate instead of oxygen.""

Flammable Methane Rivers, Flammable Methane Rain newscientist.com/article/dn6910-methane-rivers-and-rain-shape-titans-surface.html "Hills made of ice and rivers carved by liquid methane mark the surface of Saturn's giant moon. Scientists speculated long ago that some kind of hydrocarbon liquids might flow on Titan. They now know that the fluid that carved the moon's rivers and channels is methane. "Titan is a flammable world." But all the oxygen is trapped in ice. "That's a good thing, or Titan would have exploded a long time ago."

XXXXX LEARNING XXXXX

We look for the sort of classes you circled in college course catalogs but never managed to fit into your schedule. And we also look for the kind of things that no college could teach. Cheap and eclectic is the rule, though all rules get broken occasionally, and we especially love workshops, round-tables, and teachers who won't take your work out of your hands and show you how to do it right. One-time listings are categorized, with general recurring classes at the end. We thrive on your suggestions, so make sure to tell us about upcoming classes that you think are nifty-keen.

Learning is compiled and edited weekly by Libby Sentz. Send listing suggestions, announcements, and corrections to her at libby(at)nonsensenyc.com.

***** LEARNING: FRIDAY *****

Beginner Texas Hold 'Em

Learn the basics of Texas Hold 'Em poker.

751 President Street, #4, Park Slope
7p; $10
bklynevents.com

***** LEARNING: SATURDAY *****

Pay-What-You-Wish Yoga at McCarren Park

Open-level vinyasa yoga classes in McCarren Park. Weekly through the summer, weather permitting.

McCarren Park, Greenpoint
Lawn near Bedford Ave and Lorimer Street 3p Saturdays, weather permitting; $donation hoshyoga.org

***** LEARNING: SUNDAY *****

Striptease

Practice isolations and striptease for burlesque! You'll learn tiny moves to seduce and mesmerize, plus stripping out of street clothes to learn how to make any item, from a hoodie to a pair of sunglasses, sexy and entertaining. Led by Jo "Boobs" Weldon.

School of Burlesque
440 Lafayette, Manhattan
1-3p; $25
schoolofburlesque(at)gmail.com

***** LEARNING: Also on SUNDAY *****

Beginning MIG Welding With Kim

Impress your friends, your older brother, and that cute bartender with your tough new skill. This three-hour introductory welding class will teach you the very basics of MIG welding and familiarize you with the tools you’ll need to finish a project– the grinder, the chop saw, etc. MIG welding is the handy hot glue do-all kind of welding, the primary kind of welding used in making traincars, art, cranes, etc. All sorts of people have come through Madagascar Institute knowing nothing about a shop and have become capable metal workers, get your start here. This class focuses on the hands-on experience of welding. You will learn a little of the theory and tech behind it, but mostly you will get a feel for the manual skill of welding. If you come with an idea for a small, simple project, chances are you can finish it by the end of the class. Bring leather gloves and eye protection, and wear heavy-duty all natural fibers –in other words, jeans and a long sleeve shirt. And no open toed shoes—boots are ideal. Polyester and nylon will melt onto your skin if hot molten metal drops onto them and ouch that hurts. You will get dirty.

Madagascar Institute
217 Butler Street, Brooklyn
noon-3p; $35 members, $60 nonmembers (including materials) Register: madagascarinstitute.com

***** LEARNING: MONDAY *****

Through the Lens: A Special BBG Centennial Workshop

Students will visually reinterpret 100 years of BBG depictions through a photographic scavenger hunt. In the first session, the class will identify the locations in historic images of BBG and photograph them anew. A review and comparison of the old and new photographs follows in the second class June 21). This course is held on Monday evenings, when the garden is closed, to allow for unbroken views. Film or digital, all levels.

Brooklyn Botanic Gardens
1000 Washington Avenue, Brooklyn
2 Mondays
6-9p; $56 members, $64 nonmembers
bbg.org/learn/classes/

***** LEARNING: Also on MONDAY *****

Free: Algorithms

We're working through Dasgupta's book, chapter by chapter, in an NP-completely fabulous Summer of Algorithms. You will geek out as never before as we tackle divide-and-conquer, transform-and-conquer, map reduce, graphs, and quantum computing problems. There's an "assignment" every week, so please come prepared. No worries about getting the book in time, a draft is available free online.

Bryant Park, Manhattan
North side of park
7-9p; $free
nadaoneal(at)gmail.com
646-369-8098
columbia.edu/~nco2104/algorithms

***** LEARNING: Also on MONDAY *****

Intro to Italian

This summer course will teach the basics of the Italian language, focusing on speaking more than writing or grammar. The goal is to be able to have a conversation in Italian by the end of the summer and to provide a base for further improvement if desired. Wine, food, and film might also be included.

BHQFU
225 West Broadway, Manhattan
6-to-8 Mondays
7-8:30p; $?
meturoff(at)gmail.com
bhqfu.org/wiki/doku.php?id=start#courses

***** LEARNING: TUESDAY *****

Free: Grantwriting Basics for Artists

Individual artists face significant challenges in fundraising, whether the focus is on projects or opportunities to support their artistic development. One of the biggest challenges includes writing clear and informative grant proposals. This 90-minute workshop, led by Kay Takeda, director of LMCC's Grants & Services, will cover the basic components of most grant proposals, providing tips to help make your grantwriting more effective.

Lower Manhattan Cultural Council
125 Maiden Lane, 9th Floor
6:30-8p; $free
RSVP required: lmcc.net/arts_services/workshops

***** LEARNING: Also on TUESDAY *****

Maximize Your Harvest

Learn how to care for your garden through the summer and fall. We’ll identify weeds and pests, learn the best ways to use organic fertilizers for higher yield crops and discuss how you can extend your growing season into the fall and winter. Take home some organic fertilizer and a spray bottle.

Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson Community Garden 117‐09 165th Street, Queens
6:30p; $10 materials
212-333-2552; 646-733-7919
amichie(at)nyrp.org

***** LEARNING: WEDNESDAY *****

Disorganizing Sound: 20th-Century Improvised Music and the Beyond

This class will track the passage of improvised music into, through, and out of the Western avant-garde. Through readings, listening sessions, workshops, and performances, participants will learn how improvisation has functioned as an approach to composing and playing music and, perhaps more importantly, as an appropriation of alien musical cultures in order to radically alter the structures of Western music and the expectations of listeners.

While considering the use of improvisation and new forms of composition that emerged in the early part of the 20th century in Europe and America, the class will focus on the crucial period of the 1960s and 70s, when black artists—many of them experimenting with traditional forms of African music—developed free jazz, and predominantly white artists began integrating non-Western forms of structured improvisation—occasionally even becoming disciples of the masters of those forms—into classical and avant-garde compositions and performances. The class will go on to consider the eventual diffusion of these artists and the legacy of their work, especially in relation to contemporary experimental music, much of which eschews notation- and composition-based improvisation in favor of sound-based work. Taught by Christoph Cox.

The Public School New York
177 Livingston Street, Manhattan
5p, $free
RSVP nyc.thepublicschool.org/class/2098

***** LEARNING: Also on WEDNESDAY *****

Cooking With Summer Herbs: Mediterranean Flavors

In the heat of summer, New York’s Greenmarkets are thick with the perfume of fresh-picked herbs, with parsley, sage, rosemary, and a half-dozen varieties of thyme. Then, of course there are basil and sage in myriad colors and flavors, to say nothing of lemon verbena, savory, marjoram, lemongrass, and many others. Chef and author Michael Krondl will lead this scented virtual tour in which we’ll discover uncommon uses for the most common herbs even while becoming familiar with less common herbs like lovage and summer savory, to name just two. At the end of each class we will sit down for a tasting, where each dish we have prepared will be paired with a carefully chosen wine to highlight and complement its alluring aromas.

The cooks of the Mediterranean use herbs with both refinement and abandon and we will have a little of each as we prepare chilled heirloom tomato soup with marjoram and chive granita, swordfish with sage and lemon rind, lemon verbena-marinated chicken with purple basil pistou, grilled vegetable compote with summer savory, tabouli with lemon thyme and mint, and apple tarte Tatin with rosemary.

Astor Center
399 Lafayette Avenue, Manhattan
$125; 6-9p
astorcenternyc.com

XXXXX HELP XXXXX

It is a wonderful thing, to help. Helping strengthens communities and allows you to meet new friends. With that in mind, we look for one-day volunteer opportunities with no long-term commitment required. We want to be open to fresh ideas and think of help in a broad way. These listings could include anything from a large-scale day-long service project to a local theatre company that needs volunteers for load-in; from an artist looking for film extras to a community garden that needs a few extra hands. Our goal is simply to help groups or individuals that serve the greater good in small but significant ways. Unique and interesting job opportunities are acceptable fare for this section as well. Looking for ways to help out? Need volunteers to get your own community project off the ground? Know of any existing opportunities? Send your requests to Rob Voigt at robpastyvoigt(at)gmail.com.

***** HELP: SATURDAY *****

Lenox Hill Street Fair

Lenox Hill Neighborhood House, a leading social and educational services organization dedicated to helping those in need on Manhattan's East Side is seeking volunteers for our annual Street Fair on Saturday. The fair is a family friendly event that raises awareness about our services and features games and live entertainment. Volunteers will assist by passing out information about our programs and distributing giveway items to attendees. Volunteers can sign up for one of two shifts.

1st Avenue btw. 68th and 79th Streets, Manhattan 11a-2p, or 2p-5p
bit.ly/cgQoAr

***** HELP: SATURDAY *****

Children’s Sports and Fitness Expo

Volunteers needed for our 7th Annual Children's Sports and Fitness Expo on Saturday at Boys & Girls High School in Brooklyn, New York. Prior to the event we will have a volunteer orientation.

Volunteers will be needed to assist our instructors with sports activities and health screenings, checking wristbands, setting up and breaking down equipment, monitoring and helping the children with activities, and serving as guides. Volunteers will also be needed for registration, the gift bag table, drawing people to our raffle table, distributing lunches and snacks, and helping with other duties as they arise.

487 East 49th Street, Brooklyn
8a-5p
bit.ly/dAYpFe

***** HELP: TUESDAY *****

Gardening at Brooklyn Bridge Park

Enjoy an autumn evening at the beautiful Brooklyn Bridge Park! The views are spectacular and so is this little neigbhorhood park. The city-run side of BBP has little funding and requires a lot of volunteer hours to maintain its condition. Truly a great way to spend a lazy day, with great eats close by for after the event, as well. Please RSVP on OneBrick.

1 Main Street, Brooklyn
6-8p
http://bit.ly/a0WROa

***** HELP: TUESDAY and WEDNESDAY *****

The Philharmonic in Central Park

Hospital Audiences, Inc. (HAI) is a not-for-profit organization founded in 1969 to provide access to the arts to culturally isolated New Yorkers. Please join us to help others and enjoy a concert in Central Park. In conjunction with NYC Parks and Recreation Special Events, HAI organizes an accessible seating area for people with disabilities and the elderly to enjoy the NY Philharmonic concerts in Central Park safely and in comfort.

If you are thankful to be able-bodied and wish to use your health to provide a wonderful evening of music in the park for people with disabilities, please sign up to help set up the chairs in our section. We have about 800 plastic chairs that need to be set up in our reserved section on the Great Lawn right in front of the stage. We will provide drinks and pizza later in the evening, and you are welcome to enjoy the concert in our section if you wish to join us.

The Philharmonic is performing on Tuesday and Wednesday next week, and you can do either or both days. Please e-mail our Volunteer Program Coordinator to sign up.

Central Park, Manhattan
3:30p
jswaner.hai@gmail.com

***** HELP: THURSDAY *****

Hand Out Free Books

Volunteers are needed to pass out free books - donated by fellow New Yorkers - outside subway stations in Manhattan at our next handout on Thursday.

ReLIT NY is a local nonprofit organization whose only "agenda" is sharing the love of reading. We collect books donated to us via drop boxes and then redistribute them for free to the public.

5:30p
relitny.org/volunteer.html
info(at)relitny.org

***** HELP: SOON *****

Anti-Violence Work

Community Prevention Alternatives is seeking volunteers for our anti-violence initiatives located at our office in Queens. You would be involved in community programs, anti-violence and outreach services. We are also looking in particular for a grant writer. This is an excellent opportunity to get involved with and contribute to the community to make a positive difference.

mfloresvazquez1(at)aol.com
cpafcc.org

***** HELP: SOON *****

Graphic Artists

Flaunt Africa is a youth-run non-profit organization that promotes a more informed, information-based understanding of Africa, raising awareness of countless positive developments flourishing on the continent, while supporting her underprivileged. We’re looking for graphic artists to design images for our exciting upcoming events. Hours are very flexible. Please e-mail with your contact information and availability.

info(at)flauntafrica.org
flauntafrica.org

***** HELP: SOON *****

Leary Firefighters Foundation

The Leary Firefighters Foundation’s mission is to provide funding and resources for Fire Departments to obtain the best available equipment, technology and training. We are dedicated to helping maintain the highest level of public safety in our communities.

The Foundation is always in need of volunteers to assist with day-to-day administrative tasks in our New York office. Most volunteer work consists of answering phones, faxing, copying, filing, preparing mailings and assisting with other ongoing projects. We also rely heavily on volunteers to staff our events throughout the year. If you’re interested please fill out a volunteer form.

bit.ly/bf05Jl

***** HELP: UPCOMING *****

• Until June 15 and on June 22. Yoga at the Great Lawn - Karma Crew. On June 22, 2010, Flavorpill will host the world’s largest yoga event ever as 10,000 people of all backgrounds, sizes, and skill levels will simultaneously practice on the Great Lawn in Central Park, NYC. We are seeking over 100 volunteers to distribute flyers between now and June 15th and support the event on June 22nd from 3-7p. Volunteers will arrange mats on a massive grid, check in participants at the entrance, and usher individuals and groups to their practice location. All volunteers will have the opportunity to participate in class from 7-8:15p. To get involved as a volunteer and earn a guaranteed ticket, a free week of classes at YogaWorks, and a whole lot of good karma please e-mail: volunteer(at)flavorpill.com.
• June 18-27. BoCoCa Arts Festival. Volunteers needed for the box office, postering, venue managing, and more. There will be a mandatory training session prior to the festival, and you get free access to all festival shows and our lifetime gratitude. bococaartsfestival.com/InKindSupport.php
• June 19 and 20. Outdoor Nation. The Outdoor Nation Youth summit is an opportunity to connect students with the national conversation about protecting our environment and increasing outdoor opportunities. We are looking for volunteers who are able to help out during this monumental event. This ground-breaking event will harness the passion, energy and ideas of over 500 youth ages 18-30 who will work together to develop a national agenda, set priorities and outline strategies and solutions to champion the outdoors. Please e-mail me with your availability and refer this opportunity to your friends and colleagues. bit.ly/c2bMhc
• June 21. InterActive Music New York. IAMNY! is a unique program of interactive music performances and outdoor installations to be held on Monday June 21, 2010 as part of the fourth annual Make Music New York. IAMNY! will unfold as a walking tour of public sites in the Meatpacking district on 9th Avenue between Gansevoort and 14th Street. On two stage areas, artists and their instruments will present original compositions that interact with the audience, the immediate environment, or with various forms of technology to deliver a dynamic and spontaneous musical experience. We are currently seeking a small number of volunteers to help put on during the day of the program. If you are interested please contact Ken Umezaki, at kumezaki(at)nyc.rr.com, or 646-509-6861. bit.ly/92jLWS
• June 26. American Diabetes Association’s NYC Tour de Cure. The Tour is a ride, not a race, with routes designed for everyone from the occasional rider to the experienced cyclist. Whether participants ride the 15 miles or 100 miles, they will travel a route supported from start to finish with rest stops, food to fuel the journey and fans to cheer them on. Help the American Diabetes Association make this experience the best it can possibly be by volunteering - volunteers needed for route marking, set up, breakdown, working the rest stops and more. If interested, please fill out a volunteer form: bit.ly/8CNKZe
• June 27. Gay Pride March -- Anti-circumcision. Are you against infant circumcision? If so, we need your help: Volunteers are needed to join Intact America in marching in the 41st Annual Gay Pride March, which will take place on Sunday, June 27th, 2010 in New York City. The parade route runs down 5th Avenue, through Greenwich Village and into the West Village. We’ll be carrying banners and posters, and handing out literature to spectators that dispels the myths of circumcision and explains the sensory and protective functions of the foreskin. It will be a great opportunity to communicate a pro-foreskin, anti-circumcision message to New Yorkers. Anyone is welcome to join us for all or part of the march. No experience is necessary. Please email Julia at genitalintegrity(at)gmail.com if interested. intactamerica.org
• “If you are a well-educated man with excellent sailing skills looking for some fun on the weekend, let us know.” bit.ly/9FmzAD

XXXXX NONSENSE XXXXX

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Problematize? Why would you want to do that?