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From: "Jeff Stark" <jstark@nonsensenyc.com>
Subject: nonsensenyc: 7.16 to 7.22
Date: July 16th 2010

Friday, July 16
* The Last Dreams of Helene Weigel or How to Get Rid of the Feminism Once and For All, Manhattan * Mata Hari Madness Midsummer Masquerade Ball, Brooklyn * Vroom Benefit, Brooklyn
* Coney Island Cyclone Ride, Brooklyn
* HOPE Conference, Manhattan
* ARAWA, Manhattan
* New Life Crisis, Manhattan

Saturday, July 17
* Dead-Stuy Beach: A Zombie Beach Costume Dance Party, Brooklyn * Going Places (Doing Stuff)
* Spirit Tours, Manhattan
* Leopard Print Exhibitionist Body Molding and Patrick the Mangina Bucklew, Manhattan * When Dinosaurs Roamed the Burg..., Williamsburg * La Commune, Manhattan
* All Aboard, Brooklyn
*.357 Lover Variety, Manhattan
* Rev. Billy Send-off to Appalachia, Manhattan * Cryptic Carousel Fest, Brooklyn
* Cabaret Luxe, Manhattan
* Coney Island Film Society Presents Zardoz, Brooklyn

Sunday, July 18
* The Food Obstructions IV: A Benefit for Just Food, Brooklyn * The Hot Show, Brooklyn

Tuesday, July 20
* Chaos Cooking Part IX, Brooklyn
* Logophobia, Manhattan

Wednesday, July 21
* Bailout Theater, Manhattan
* Rhinestone Follies, Manhattan

Thursday, July 22
* Feels Like Home, Manhattan
* July Sky Box Variety Show: The Epic Edition! Brooklyn * NYC Food Crawl Presents: The July Ice Cream Crawl

Wishlist
* Dinner

Spectre
* Cheney Now Has Machine Heart, No Pulse

Learning
* Free Salsa

Help
* Handypeiople

NOTE: For some navigation help, or an explanation for what this is all about, scroll all the way down to NONSENSE. You'll find snarky editorial comments and little bits of praise littered throughout this list. These nuggets are marked with all caps, like this: NOTE. Also, we make a lot of mistakes, especially with dates; you should always double check our work. And you can donate to this project at nonsensenyc.com/special.

XXXXX COVER ART XXXXX

Picnics.

XXXXX FRIDAY, JULY 16 XXXXX

The Panoply Performance Laboratory

The Last Dreams of Helene Weigel or How to Get Rid of the Feminism Once and For All

An experimental, documentary opera following Helene Weigel, Bertolt Brecht's wife and "the greatest actress who ever lived" as she snaps the neck of a wild swan, escapes robbery by door-to-door linoleum salesmen, and makes covert visits in her dreams to the nunnery cell of Héloïse d' Argenteuil, the 12th Century philosopher best known in light of her lover Abelard's castration.

Text/Direction: Esther Neff Music/Music Direction: Brian McCorkle Assistant Director: Alex Bisker Costume Design: Lena Sands Set Design: Liz Jenatopolus. Starring (in order of appearance): Tom Swirly, Andrea Suarez, Loren Barnese, Kate Garfield, Jessica Bathurst, Katie Johnston, Matthew Gonzalez, Matthew Stephen Smith.

ABC No Rio
156 Rivington Street, Manhattan
8p; $15
brownpapertickets.com/event/115192

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Mata Hari Madness Midsummer Masquerade Ball

Courtesan. Exotic dancer. Secret agent. She was all three. Which one are you?

Join us for an evening of erotic imagery, Playful flirting, and stolen glances all mixed together with intrigue, a twist of kink and a dash of the absurd. Honoring a woman who was rumored to have, (in an attempt to distract her executioners) flung open her coat, exposed her naked body and exclaimed "Harlot, yes, but traitor, never."

Special guests, performers and raffle contributors include Madison Young, Barbara Carrellas, Dr. Annie Sprinkle, Jamye Waxman, Porno Jim, Saint Reverend Jen, Tracy Quan, Rachel Kramer Bussel, Damien Luxe, Jo (Weldon) Boobs, Valerie Greene and Bruce Lindsay, Veronica Varlow, Darlinda Just Darlinda, David Henry Sterry, Candida Royalle, Amazon Annie, Halley Bondy. With more performances by Kayti Bunny, Paige Stevenson, Dwan Daniels, the Pixie Harlots, Machine Dazzle, and the Lovely Juliette Campbell.

Music by DJ Tim the Enchanter, Tektite, and Friar Tuck. And other intrigues and adventures such as the Sweet and Vicious Domination Station hosted by Elisa Blynn, photo booth hosted by Joe Che, kissing booth hosted by Chemistry NYC, and Tasting Treats by Dallas.

Red Lotus Room
Text 646 450 1548 for address, Brooklyn 9p-3a; $20, all proceeds going to support the Desiree Alliance and 2010 Conference mataharimadness.com

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Vroom Benefit

Vroom, New York's one and only radical bus collective, is throwing two fundraising parties Friday night. Vroom is a veggie-oil run former school bus available to groups and organizations for their journeys in pursuit of radical change and social, economic, and environmental justice.

Lap 1: Kick off the night at Feygeleh Farm, a queer collective house in Kensington. Enjoy the backyard garden while sipping on unique beverages such as Tranny Fluid and Quick Lube!

Next the pit crew will bring in the Queen of Honor for the night, Vroom's Big Gay Bus, which will move the party Sugarland in Williamsburg.

Lap 2: Hey Queen, Brooklyn's most fabulous queer dance party and Vroom, combine forces to present: Speed Queen at Sugarland where DJs Drumpelstiltskin, Brian Belukha, and Emjay will rev your engines. Hot queer go-go mechanics, surprise acts, and $1 shots are guaranteed for the first 100,000 miles.

Starting at Feygeleh Farm
40 Caton Place, Brooklyn
6-10p; $10-20 includes party bus and entry to Sugarland

Sugarland
221 North 9th Street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn 10p-4a; $5-10 sliding scale

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Coney Island Cyclone Ride

The Cyclone Ride goes to Coney Island Amusement Park (Brooklyn) from Manhattan. We should get there just in time for the fireworks. This is a casual ride at a relaxed pace. Bring locks as we plan to lock up and ride the rides. Bring money for food and amusements, and a swimsuit if you plan to hit the waves. We usually spend about an hour and a half in the park, on the beach (and in the water), on the boardwalk, at Nathan's, and everyone has a great time. Some people return on the subway, and others ride back at a faster pace.

Manhattan side of the Brooklyn Bridge
7p; $free

Carroll Street Drawbridge, Brooklyn
7:25p

69th Street Pier, Brooklyn (Shore Parkway Bike Path Entrance) 7:50p
times-up.org/index.php?page=cyclone-ride

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

HOPE Conference

The HOPE Conference is for the hacker community and all who want to learn how to control technology -- not be controlled by it. It is a three-day, multi-tiered hacker conference, a celebration of technology, sponsored by 2600 Magazine.

Julian Assange: of Wikileaks is one of our keynote speakers at the Next HOPE. Over the years, and particularly within the past few months, Julian has demonstrated some of the key values of those in the hacker and journalist community who strive to get real information out of the hands of bureaucracy and coverups and share it with the rest of the world, all the while protecting the sources. He has been on the front page of newspapers worldwide with the revelation by Wikileaks of a videotape showing a U.S. Army Apache helicopter attack in Baghdad that killed a dozen people, including two Reuters news staff. Previous attempts at uncovering the tape through the government had failed and its release clearly showed that there was no active firefight between U.S. forces and those killed, as had been maintained in official statements.

Check website for complete listing.

The Pennsylvania Hotel
7th Ave and 32nd Street, across the street from Penn Station and Madison Square Garden, Manhattan 10a; $100 all weekend
Continues through SUNDAY
hope.net

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

ARAWA

Hi. My friend Adam is hosting this event which I've heard described as fashion-show-meets-party-meets-Shamanistic Ritual." I've never been, but their last event at 3rd Ward had folks talking for weeks so I thought I'd share it with you for your list. Here is the blurb:

Our band of peacemakers is building a temple in the heart of New York City. Come and join us for three days of magical performance and ceremony, music, dance and food as we raise money to produce a month long peace festival in October.

ARAWA is a tribe of musicians, artists and healers bringing the peace party to the people. We create sacred space and performances marrying ancient ceremony with modern vision to deliver the messages of Unity and Transformation to a whole new audience.

Our journey begins in New York City with a month long Peace Festival in October 2010 and continues around the world as we join with other peoples, tribes and nations to celebrate our shared humanity and the potential for a new era of peace on Earth.

Alignment Center
120 West 28th Street, fourth floor between 6th and 7th avenues, Manhattan 7p doors, 8p performances, dinner and party to follow; $free, donations are tax-deductible Continues through SUNDAY
alignmentcenter.org/
arawa.org/

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

New Life Crisis

Five short plays exploring the Quarter-Life Crisis, the Mid-Life Crisis, and all the little crises in between (in other words, life). Mixing theater, dance, and the kind of performance art that involves shots of whiskey, New Life Crisis makes some sort of definite statement about some sort of specific subject. Also features celebrity guest-stars and actual on-stage sex. Or it probably doesn't, but you'll have to watch to find out.

Theater of the New City
155 1st Avenue, Manhattan
8p; $15
Continues through SUNDAY
driftinactout.com

XXXXX SATURDAY, JULY 17 XXXXX

Dead-Stuy Beach: A Zombie Beach Costume Dance Party

Nothing beats a house party. This Saturday the deader the better. Time to throw on a bathing suit and paint the town blood red. The Chicken Hut is throwing another amazing party. DJs getting that blood boiling: Dirtyfinger, Cobra Krames, James Stacher, Teenwolf. With a special alive act from: Radical Heartz (radical outing) celebrating the release of their workout mixtape. We'll also have a rooftop slip-n-slide, foam swamp, bbq beach zombie, cold drinks, and a chance to water balloon the freak(s)! Guaranteed to wake you from your dead hot summer.

Chicken Hut
169 Spencer Street, Brooklyn
10p-4a; $6 bones with a costume, $8 without radicalouting.com/

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Going Places (Doing Stuff)

Take a summer ride with Flux Factory. You get on a bus, you don’t know where you’re going, and then something happens.

For Going Places (Doing Stuff) Flux Factory invites New Yorkers to take a tour with artists who have become tour guides for the city. For six weeks, the general public can sign up for personally designed artist tours that range from a single afternoon to three days. The content of the tours are entirely up to the artists, though where you will be going is secret. Even to you.

Each tour has simply the following information: the artist, a title, a duration, and a list of needed supplies. In other words, when you sign up for a tour, you know what to bring and how long you will be gone, but you will have no idea where you are actually going or what you will experience.

There is always mystery in traveling, even if you know where you are headed. Going Places (Doing Stuff) is all about this mystery, asking the general public to give themselves over to our artists. The excitement of simply stepping on a bus to who-knows-where becomes a metaphor and catalyst for the leap of faith inherent to aesthetic experience in general.

This week: Camp! with A'yen Tran and Jeff Stark.

RSVP on Friday night
9a Saturday-5p Sunday; $40
fluxfactory.org/going-places-doing-stuff/

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Spirit Tours

Please join Recess Activities, Inc. for Spirit Tours 11, a project by Dave Hardy and Siebren Versteeg. The artists collaborated as Spirit Tours for the first time in the summer of 2004. In summer 2010, Hardy and Versteeg will continue dictating the future.

Recess invites resident artists to use its storefront as studio, exhibition venue and grounds for experimentation; under Hardy and Versteeg’s direction, Recess will become the site of an ongoing sculptural event. Since its inception, the project has evolved to investigate the notion of the journey, a fancy that continues to disappear from a contemporary experience that creates a demand for and delivers immediacy and consumption. At Recess, Spirit Tours 11 will generate what the artists call a bootleg transformative experience that takes cues from the gray-market economy in full swing a block away on Canal Street.

Versteeg and Hardy’s residency will begin with a virtual tarot card reading with predictions emanating from an oversized skull. Yes, that’s right. Premonitions that come from the readings will shape the project for the rest of the summer.

41 Grand Street, Manhattan
2a; $free
646 863 3765

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Leopard Print Exhibitionist Body Molding and Patrick the Mangina Bucklew

Enter the Mangina world tonight and throw caution, clothing, and celery to the wind. HiChristina first met Patrick the Mangina Bucklew while he was wearing a prosthetic vagina. He has a pair of striped puppet pants that pull themselves down with the use of pulleys and string, his paintings are motorized, his poetry is spontaneous and hilarious. And on top of it all, because of it all, Patrick is a skillful and inspiring painter. Get ready for friendly plastic body part molding (any and every body part will do), interpretive dance, clothing-swap (just for the night) , vegetable horseshoes, and live portrait painting with live musical sound effects by Eleanor Dubinsky. Dress up as a cartoon or a famous painting and get special attention (wink wink). Also participate in group painting and magical cut out exercises. Zip-Zap wow tonight.

HiChristina
163 Eldridge Street, at Delancey, Manhattan 9p; $7 BYOB
hichristina.com

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

When Dinosaurs Roamed the Burg...

Exact location will be announced on the day of the event. Dress up like a dinosaur and congregate with you Cretaceous Brethren in searching for the finest watering hole in Williamsburg.

The first in a series of parties and events to support Jurassic Park Slope a transmedia experience, When Dinosaurs Roamed the Burg is part film shoot, part normal day in the burg, part rocking party.

This is your invitation to participate in a unique kind of film, one where you participate from the first day of filming until well beyond its final release. Please join us and help this dream come to life by dressing up like a dinosaur, a hipster or a hipster dinosaur and migrating with us.

Location announced on the day of the event Williamsburg, Brooklyn
1p; $free
jurassicparkslope.com

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

La Commune

La Commune is one of Peter Watkins most assertive measures against Monoform, methods of media production and distribution. It is an event, a collaboration, and a beseeching -- a warm, crafty endurance that produces questions like weeds throughout its nearly six hour run time.

Length is only the most discussed aberrant feature of La Commune, and perhaps the least interesting. Watkins employed techniques in casting, research, shooting, and editing that address form and delivery in radical ways, many of which surface in his work, but are taken to a deliberately lengthy extent here.

For this day-long screening, we will divide the film into two parts, with a 30 minute break in between. Following the film, there will be a light meal and conversation at the 16 Beaver space.

16 Beaver
16 Beaver Street, fourth floor, Manhattan 11a-evening; $free, please if possible bring food, tea, juice, coffee to share during the break, or something to contribute to the dinner/conversation, which will consist mainly of salad, cheese, bread, and wine. pwatkins.mnsi.net/commune.htm
16beavergroup.org/

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

All Aboard

Announcing All Aboard hosted by Work Gallery and Richard Oliver Wilson, a multimedia, multi-sensory installation happening with a nautical theme, but it's more of an event focused on camaraderie amongst friends and strangers musing about the mysteriousness of the universe, space and time, imagination, technology, and of course, boats. This communal experience will include giant projections, seemingly misplaced nautical vessels, sci-fi video inventively displayed, live music provided by Bloody For Me and Cache and other surprises. Come to a place where you can sit or stand and allow yourself to be engulfed in a visual conundrum set up both inside and outside the beautiful semi-waterfront Work Gallery in Red Hook and take a moment to reconsider the beloved nursery rhyme: Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream, merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream.

Work Gallery
65 Union Street, Brooklyn
6p; $free
jessiestead.com

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

.357 Lover Variety

This Saturday amazing rocker Corn Mo (recently of Straight Up Vampire fame), and his band, .357 Lover, are hosting the hardest rocking variety show of all time, featuring Jason Trachtenburg, Anna Copacabanna, Lady Rizo, and the Love Show. There will be dancing, nudity, and air conditioning.

Ars Nova
511 West 54th Street, Manhattan
7:30p; $10
arsnovanyc.com/music-marathon

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Rev. Billy Send-off to Appalachia

We have tried to bring down Holy Fire upon those logos in the malls. We always do this with an unseen partner working with us -- somewhere out in the world. Now with Mountaintop Removal in Appalachia, we have the same consumer society set-up as the other struggles. There’s the same colonizing of labor and natural resources. With this campaign, though, our partners are only nine hours away in Coal River Valley, West Virginia. We get to meet them, and stay with and sing with our hero activists.

Come to our Send-off to Appalachia. Put us on that bus. We’ll get some love and we’ll get some more murdered mountain mud to power our way into the mind and soul of UBS -- that Swiss bank that finances strip-mining now that Chase backed down. Their secret bank accounts are bursting with mountain crimes, and they will change their evil ways. Appalachia-lujah!

Pastor’s note: Our honored saints at this Fabulous Worship are from all over the world and they came to us to Start Spreading the News! It’s the Street Vendors Project. Amen!

92Y Tribeca
200 Hudson Street, Manhattan
8p; $10, no one turned away

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Cryptic Carousel Fest

With Id M Theft Able, Girly Temple, Terrier, Opponents, Kyle Clyde, Nonhorse, C. Lavender, James Christie Thow III, Matthew Meade, Fluorescent Vibes, Laurel Craig, Rust Worship, Lea B., Lambs, the Alienist, Gitche-Anahmi-Bezheu, Evil Robot Ted, and Arcanode.

Division of Human Works
1501 Broadway, Brooklyn
J train to Halsey station
6p; $free, donations appreciated
crypticcarousel.com
divisionofhumanworks.org

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Cabaret Luxe

The days ache on longer, the sun throbs in the sky, and the only people left scorching in New York City are those of red blood and dark hearts. The hobos, the artists, the dazzling dilettantes ... this Cabaret Luxe is for you.

Please join us on Saturday, July 17 for a midsummer's eve of sophisticated and politically relevant burlesque and live vintage music that melts the night.

Emerging from the dark corners of New York City’s underground, Cabaret Luxe brings to the stage acts of sinister hedonism inspired by the nightclubs of Weimar Berlin, the advent of American punk, Dada, decadence and art born from the liberating freefall of economic uncertainty. Featuring the eclectic sounds of Amour Obscur a and Dorothy Darker’s carnal sideshow of burlesque performers, Cabaret Luxe immerses you in a world of ferocious beauty and vintage vice.

Amour Obscur is Dee Dee Vega (vocals), Matt Dallow (accordion, theremin, toy piano), Matt “The Knife” Goldpaugh (upright bass) and Jeremy Kroger (percussion) with belly dancing by Sarah Hassan. Burlesque performer Dorothy Darker curates acts by Deity and Divina GranSparkle. Porno Jim is our outrageous Emcee for the evening.

Parkside Lounge
317 East Houston, at Attorney Street, Manhattan 10:30p; $10

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Coney Island Film Society Presents Zardoz

Directed by John Boorman, 1974. A resident of 23rd-century Earth becomes involved in a revolution after discovering the hidden truth about society's rulers in director John Boorman's sci-fi drama. Starring: Sean Connery, Charlotte Rampling, Sara Kestelman; 20th Century Fox; Rated R; 102 minutes.

Coney Island USA
1208 Surf Avenue, Brooklyn
8:30p; $5, free popcorn

XXXXX SUNDAY, JULY 18 XXXXX

The Food Obstructions IV: A Benefit for Just Food

In 1967, Jorgen Leth made a 12 minute film, The Perfect Human. In 2003, Lars von Trier challenged Leth, his mentor as a filmmaker, to remake the film with obstructions that would complicate its production. Von Trier titled the result the Five Obstructions.

On July 18, three Brooklyn food enthusiasts challenge their mentors and fellow culinary artists to a similar challenge, the Food Obstructions. Fifteen contestants will be accepted to make a dish of their own originality. In the spirit of the film, there are five obstructions to whatever type of dish they will make:

Must contain at least one locally-sourced vegetable
Must contain locally-sourced honey
Cannot contain meat
Must contain an ingredient that is spherical in shape and eaten whole (think chickpeas, not oranges)
Must be topped with a crunchy garnish.

The dish will be judged on:
+ Taste
+ Synthesis of Obstructions
+ Presentation

Prizes from local businesses, such as The Brooklyn Kitchen, Radish, and Brooklyn Farmacy, will be awarded to the winners.

East River Bar
97 South 6th Street, Brooklyn
4p; $free for competitors, $10 to attend and sample the entries, all proceeds will be donated to Just Food, a non-profit dedicated to making fresh, locally grown food available and accessible to all New Yorkers To compete: thefoodobstructionsgmail.com noteatingoutinny.com/2010/06/22/the-biggest-best-most-outdoors-food-obstructions-iv-is-july-18th/

***** Also on SUNDAY *****

Flashwalk

Hi walkers. It's that time of year again for a five-borough, 40-mile, highly refreshing walk from Brooklyn to Staten Island. Many of you had the pleasure of joining the flash mob that crossed two states and four bridges last summer, and I'm hoping you (and many newcomers) will be willing to hit the sidewalks again.

Start Grand Army Plaza, Brooklyn
6a; $free
flashwalk.org

***** Also on SUNDAY *****

POP (A Vaudeville Experience) presents:

The Hot Show

Pop (A Vaudeville Experience) blends vaudeville and burlesque in a outré, big-tent, mind blowing, jaw dropping experience that will leave you breathless and wanting more. It storms into Brooklyn every third Monday of the month at Public Assembly in Williamsburg. Hosted by Princess Sunshine.

Guests: Darlinda Just Darlinda, the Incredible Edible Akynos, Magician Push Billingsley, N as Lady Nana, and It’s A Little Stormy and Magic Max.

Public Assembly
70 N 6th Street, between Kent and Wythe, Williamsburg, Brooklyn 10p; $10
brownpapertickets.com/event/118518
crimsonkitty.com

XXXXX TUESDAY, JULY 20 XXXXX

Chaos Cooking Part IX

A continuing social experiment where up to 50 people cook 50 recipes in one kitchen, four burners, one oven, barbecue. All recipes must be finished in three hours while everyone is drinking wine, socializing and putting delectable dishes in their mouths.

When you arrive pour yourself some wine, pick your cutie color, sign the book, start making your dish, help someone else, pour yourself some wine, eat some of the dish that was just finished, ask for help, try not to start yourself on fire, try some more dishes, sit down and talk for a while, pour your new friend some more wine, have some dessert, pitch in for cleanup, make plans for this weekend.

Page Not Found
Email for address, Brooklyn
J,M,Z trains to Myrtle station
7p; $3-5 to cover the costs and two bottles of wine to drink each infochaoscooking.com

***** Also on TUESDAY *****

Logophobia

Logophobia is a bimonthly open mic night held at Hudson Urban Bicycles, a bike shop in the West Village. Our stage is a sheet of plywood held up on construction buckets. We only have enough electricity for one light, focused on the stage. Our seats are lawn chairs, crates, and whatever else is laying around the shop. There's no sound system, so you'll have to project. Refreshments are potluck style and BYOB. Logophobia is all about sharing. Storytelling and poetry reading are the main performances, but musical and theatrical pieces are welcome as well. Try to keep it to five or 10 minutes. Every Logophobia has a theme; this one is childhood. Sign up to share when you arrive, or just come and observe.

Hudson Urban Bicycles
139 Charles Street, between Greenwich and Washington, Manhattan 8.30p sign-ups, 9p performances; $free, donations encouraged twitter.com/Maggie_Craig

XXXXX WEDNESDAY, JULY 21 XXXXX

Bailout Theater

We will have free dinner and desserts provided as always by friendly Village restaurants (John's Pizza, NoHo Juice Bar, and more) plus homemade meals using farm-fresh produce from our friends at Norwich Meadows, and a potluck for potluck enthusiasts.

At 8p, returning veteran Bailout favorite Alex Mallett graces our stage once more with his first full-length set of original sad banjo songs that will absolutely brighten your day anyhow! Becca Hasselbrook and her backing band bring their quirky piano-pop to Bailout for their first show with us. You’ll love these people in every way, we swear.

All of our events are completely free, require no RSVP, virtually no understanding of etiquette and are open to everyone. If you would like to bring a small dish or dessert to add to a potluck, we love that, but it is by no means required.

Judson Memorial Church
55 Washington Square South, Manhattan
7:30p; $free
212 477 0351 x 28 with questions
infobailout-theater.org
bailout-theater.org

***** Also on WEDNESDAY *****

Rhinestone Follies

The sparkliest show on earth returns to R Bar. Every month the Rhinestone Follies revue features the best in vintage music, sideshow, and burlesque entertainment. Awe-inspiring performances featuring sexy and seductive acts by three ravishing beauties await you. See spectacular costumes like you've never seen before.

Kita St. Cyr, Beelzebabe, and Hazel Honeysuckle are the Rhinestone Follies, delivering New York's finest classic burlesque experience. A show that will blow away all your expectations of what burlesque can be.

With special guest burlesque artist the Flying Fox, live music by Michael Arenella and the Dreamland Orchestra, fire breathing by Gypsy Jay, hosted by Albert Cadabra, pick-up artistry by Audrey Bloom and Josephine St. James. And always featuring Kita St Cyr, Beelzebabe, and Hazel Honeysuckle.

R Bar
218 Bowery, between Spring and Prince, Manhattan 8p; $?
rbarnyc.com

XXXXX THURSDAY, JULY 22 XXXXX

Feels Like Home

New illustrations on paper at Fringe Salon. Feels Like Home is a collection of brand new work partly inspired by the space at Fringe Salon. These delicately rendered watercolor drawings play with the notion of hair as a landscape and its own environment, as well as the presumed traditional role of women as keepers of the home and protectors of the family.

Fringe Salon
248 Broome Street, Manhattan
8-11p; $free

***** Also on THURSDAY *****

July Sky Box Variety Show: The Epic Edition!

Nothing says heat like fire, and nothing says hot like aerialists. Lucky for you, this month Sky Box brings you lots of both. Featuring NYC's finest aerialists on silk, lyra, rope, and hammock as well as performances of burlesque and theatrical pole dance, this month's show is bound to be steamy for more reasons than one. Plus with two aerial acts featuring fire performance, a new meaning of epic will be in action and Sky Box aerial community can't wait. Please join us for this very special monthly event at the infamous House of Yes. This is the perfect way to get excited for the weekend so this month the show is on a Thursday. Bring your friends and your O-face as you're sure to be mesmerized.

House of Yes Theatre
342 Maujer Street, Brooklyn
8p doors, 9p show; $10 door, all proceeds benefit the Sky Box Aerial Community as part of the 501(3c) Artistic Evolution theskybox.org/

***** Also on THURSDAY *****

NYC Food Crawl Presents: The July Ice Cream Crawl

As summer has arrived with a vengeance, NYC Food Crawl is delighted to announce the the July Ice Cream Crawl.

On July 22, crawlers will be directed along a route of several locations where you may sample different varieties of a sharable, portable and precious food. This month’s culinary exploration will take us though the west side of Manhattan to several establishments offering several ways to tingle taste buds while staying cool. Soft serve, sandwiched, in a cone or in a dish ... ice cream is a simple sweet affording a multitude of creative options for its enjoyment. Bring friends or come meet new ones.

While flavored ice desserts such as sorbet have been known since antiquity, true ice cream made with milk and sugar originated in the Arabian Peninsula as early as the 1100s. However ice cream was not widely known in the English speaking world until the early eighteenth century. Today ice cream comes in flavors ranging from classic vanilla to durian fruit. Come crawl with us and explore different takes on a familiar summer favorite! Find a new favorite dessert spot and vote for your preferred ice cream.

Ice cream scorecard, map, and team assignments will be provided.

RSVP for location
6:30p; $free
bit.ly/Hj6K8
nycfoodcrawl.blogspot.com

XXXXX UPCOMING XXXXX

Flux Factory's Going Places Doing Stuff all summer
Mermaid Lagoon: A Benefit for The Oceanic Preservation Society and the Gulf Coast, July 24
Gemini & Scorpio present the Lost Circus, July 31
8th annual NYC Musical Saw Festival, August 7

XXXXX ONGOING XXXXX

Nonsense is too long. The great thing about the internet is that it doesn't really cost much to run long listings and exhaustive descriptions. It turns out that's ... exhausting. After several complaints and a little deliberation, we're trying a new format: On the first Friday of the month we will run updated ongoing listings in each section: events, learning, and help. Other weeks we're going for leaner, meaner sections. If you're desperate for something to do on an off-Tuesday night we suggest you either look back a few issues ago in your inbox, or poke through our online archives, which you can find under the subscribe page.

Also, a note about better rock shows. Nonsense does not straight list rock shows in New York unless they occur in tandem with puppet shows or jump rope tournaments or in subway tunnels or in graveyards. For listings of good shows, especially shows that feature independent bands at quality venues like Death by Audio and those booked by hard-working promoters like Todd P or Sleep When Dead, consult resources like ohmyrockness.com, brooklynvegan.com/, sleepwhendeadnyc.com/calendar/, garagepunknyc.com, and eardrumnyc.com. For the most exhaustive list of underground shows at unusual venues, track down a copy of the extremely useful -- and handsome -- Showpaper.

XXXXX WISHLIST XXXXX

What have you been wishing for? Collaborators, grant monies, a new home? Please send brief listings to Alita at alitanonsensenyc.com. We only list available apartments, lofts, studios, and one-off rentals -- not spaces wanted.

***** ARTY STUFF *****

An Extraordinary Dinner for Two. Who would you invite to dinner? Tell us, and we'll help make it happen. For the last few years, we've hosted elaborate dinners in extraordinary places -- abandoned buildings, historic tunnels, and the ruins of the Worlds Fair. One of the many things that makes the places special is that you're not supposed to be there, so very few people see them. With the help of one of the city's leading experts on public space, we've come across something special even for us: A secret art gallery unseen by anyone except for the artists' who created it. We've been invited to host a dinner for two, and we're now passing along the invite. This is what you get: A four-course formal course dinner served by candle light, by us. A tour of the gallery. And passage into the one of the riskiest spots you could meet for dinner in New York City. You need to wear formal clothes that can get dirty, you need to agree to a complete secrecy, and you need to be willing to take legal ... risks. And, of course, you will be documented. Dinner is very late night on July 27. So, who would you invite? Who needs a challenge? Who needs to see something that very few others will witness? What will you talk about? What's your occasion? And what's your story? Tell us about yourself, and tell us about who you'd take. Email jstark@nonsensenyc.com with SECRET DINNER in the subject line.
I have been working on a project to create the first Nuit Blanche in New York and I want to invite you to submit proposals for artworks to help make Oak Street in Greenpoint come alive with artwork that lights up the night. Bring to Light NYC will be held September 18 and will be an all-night arts festival of installations, music and performances that will close the street for the community and celebrate the magic and luminance of light (think projections, lasers, films, etc.) Our deadline is July 30. If you are interested in helping to bring this project together, we would love for you to join us at our next planning meeting: this upcoming Monday June 19 at 7:30 pm at 82 Oak Street. Contact Anna, anmuessig(at)gmail.com.
Chick With a Truck Available: I can do pretty much anything that requires a truck almost anywhere you need to go. My goal is to provide good old fashioned honest work and meet interesting people along the way. I am offering a plethora of services including: rides, hauls, delivery, yard work, transportation of live plants, animals, home furnishings, art handling, trips to home depot, mfta, flea markets, thriftys, etc. I'm most interested in providing long distance rides, moves, and deliveries. Let's get out on the open road. Contact Elizabeth, 501 827 9978, ebentley9(at)gmail.com
Kostume Kult needs help with our annual mission of "costuming the naked." Our Esplanade costume dome needs assistance with costume and accessory donations. This year we are seeking help with our "Grand Absurdity Plaza" runway arch. This will be an arch reminiscent of Brooklyn's Grand Army Plaza over our fashion runway where its war memorial statuary (three clusters of horses and soldiers) will be replaced by an absurdist hodge-podge of lawn animals, nativity scene figures and other such lightweight pieces. If you have stuff to donate or know where to buy lawn animals cheap, contact David K at kkostumes(at)gmail.com.
Nomad Films is excited to announce our partnership with Access and Paradox for the fair’s first edition, Nostalgia for Nature, taking place October 21-24 in Paris, France. We will curate an exhibition of short films by independent filmmakers utilizing innovative and explorative ways of filmmaking. The films can be narrative or documentary, and should relate to the fair’s unofficial theme Nostalgia for Nature. Projects will be accepted July 1, 2010, through August 31. Filmmakers whose projects are selected will be notified in September. For guidelines, contact Sarah Schutzki Voisin, 917 572 5939, sschutzki(at)gmail.com. See nomadfilms.net.
NYC Department of Buildings is launching a national design competition called urbancanvas. The urbancanvas Design Competition is a unique opportunity to challenge professional artists and designers to create printed artwork for temporary protective structures at construction sites that will beautify New York City’s streetscape and promote maintenance of these structures. See: nyc.gov/urbancanvas.
Call for Participants/Art Projects for Stranded: The Forbidden City, a one-night foray into a magical metropolis of imagination, hidden inside an enormous warehouse in Brooklyn, taking place September 4. We are seeking installations, activities, performances, and games to entertain and delight the City’s tourists. Projects that are all of those things at once are ideal. Volunteers of all stripes are also welcome. As the name suggests, the theme is an exploration of cities, past, present and future, real and imagined. Of course, the title is a double entendre, suggesting both Beijing’s dynasty-era grandeur, and also a libertine red light district. Artists are free to explore either or both meanings, or simply run the laundromat of their dreams. This is the third annual Stranded event. It started on Labor Day weekend 2008 at the Brewery warehouse in Bushwick as a gathering for those unable to attend Burning Man. Last year the event expanded to a 26,000 square foot warehou se palace in Sunset Park, and began attracting a wider variety of artists and attendees. This year, we are going to continue the trend with more space, art and friends and raise the bar for creative revelry to skyscraper heights. If your project requires a stipend, please apply no later than August 6. The final deadline is August 20. Quick submission form: wandbnyc.com/forbiddenart. Quick volunteer form: wandbnyc.com/civilservants. Art questions: evalansberry(at)gmail.com. Volunteer questions: pneumaticdevotion(at)gmail.com. General inquiries: info(at)wandbnyc.com.
CUElink is an online forum for artists to help each other by exchanging services and sharing skills. CUElink enables artists to build a stronger community by pooling their abilities. CUElink is a money-free bartering site. See: cuelink.org.
September 19, noon-6p, The Case of the Curious Pedestrian. A street festival is the perfect event for discovering the obscure gems and unexplored moments of beauty that exist in a commercial corridor. Closing the street to automobile traffic makes people more aware of their environment, which is filled with the choreography of pedestrians, the nooks & crannies of commercial spaces, and the unspoken history of its sidewalks. The Case of the Curious Pedestrian is a one-day exhibition of performance art and ephemeral installations that celebrates these overlooked details. Artists will take to Myrtle Avenue with artistic interventions and social interactions, in an effort to reconnect passersby with the things they often pass without notice. They will also create hidden installations to be stumbled upon by unsuspecting shoppers, and turn Myrtle Avenue into a cabinet of curiosities. To participate, contact Christina Vassallo, christinavassallo(at)gmail.com.

***** MONEY *****

Ending soon: Flood Tide, a film: kickstarter.com/projects/toddchandler/flood-tide
Feast, a dinner/granting process. We are very excited to announce our next Feast on Saturday, August 21st at the Church of the Messiah in Greenpoint, Brooklyn from 5 to 8 pm. Come see our grantees from the April Feast, including Surprise, Bikesplorations, Trinity Project, and the Artist Landlord Agreement. Spread the word, we are accepting proposals for the August Feast. Please visit our website for more details and to download the proposal PDF form. The proposal deadline is Sunday, August 8. See: feastinbklyn.org.
The City University Construction Fund is seeking an artist to design and install a site-specific art installation as part of the New Academic Building project at New York City College of Technology. The purpose of this project is to create a dynamic and interactive artwork for the entrance of the new academic building at the corner of Jay and Tillary Streets, a prominent and active public thoroughfare in downtown Brooklyn. The prime objective of the New Academic Building is to support the long-term planning goals of the college's science and health related programs, with technically advanced instructional spaces, a 1,000-seat auditorium and a gymnasium. Included as part of this new facility is an art installation intended to enhance and enliven the experience of those students, faculty and visitors who will be using the new building. Prospective responders are invited to submit questions by email to DDCM.ContractsDept(at)mail.cuny.edu. Cite NYCCT Design and Installation of Artwork in the subject heading of the email. Deadline, 8/12. See: cuny.edu/about administration/offices/fpcm departmentscbcs.html#newyorkcitycollegeoftechnologynewacademicbuildingdesignandinstallationofartworkrequestforqualificationsprojectnonycucf0510

***** SPACES *****

NYC's most interesting residency program is now accepting applications for residencies beginning this fall! Flux Factory is an artist-run not-for-profit organization that provides residencies and work spaces for fourteen artists and organizes group exhibits in-house and worldwide as an arts collective. The premises include a gallery, a coworking office, a screen printing lab, and a wood shop. It also has a shared kitchen, library, and lots of great people. Residents benefit from an engaged and creative community, studio visits, monthly art salons, and exposure to a large community of creative collaborators who both maintain personal practices and also develop projects together. All residents have a voice in planning programming and sustaining the organization as a whole. We're looking for an artist, community member, and friend who enjoys being part of a wonderful and active social milieu, and has a willingness to work collaboratively and/or socially. Applications are due o n August 1. All rooms have big windows and range from $550-700 per month plus utilities. Square footages range from 120-207. Residents must find their own funding for their residency. Contact residency(at)fluxfactory.org.
Two artist work spaces available August 1 in really great studio building in Crown Heights at Bergen and Franklin: a 300 square foot private studio for $550 and a 300 square foot share with mostly absentee studio mate for $350. 12-foot white walls, slop sink, high window, freight elevator, very LGBT friendly. Call 917-208-5799.
Beautiful one-bedroom loft style apartment in Williamsburg, 750 square feet with balcony, hardwood floors, kitchen with granite countertop and stainless steel appliances, amazing roof deck -- perfect for summer. Laundry in building, very nice, modern but classic sixteen-unit building. Rent: $1995 per month. Contact Liz 415 623 4655
We have a medium-sized (eight by eleven feet) room opening up June 1st in a large four-bedroom apartment. $500 a month. This is on 61st Street, between 2nd and 3rd Avenue, in Sunset Park, Brooklyn (not Manhattan). We're two blocks from the 59th Street express stop on the N/R lines. It's a quiet, safe neighborhood, with tree-lined blocks, and mostly family-owned townhouse/brownstone houses. The current lease ends October 31, but there's a decent enough chance we'll continue into 2011 (off-lease). We've been here since 2007. First and last months rent required to move in, $1000 total. We are 27-35, three guys, work in film/archiving, publishing/literature/healthcare, design/coffee, etc. There are two cats in this apartment, which you must like and respect. Please tell us about yourself - your work, studies, hobbies, interests, etc. Contact Matt, mjjvckp(at)gmail.com.
$850 per month, 400 square feet, well-lit professional live/work bedroom/artist's studio in huge 4,000 square feet shared loft available to non-smoker August 3-September 30 (possibly longer). In close proximity to a health foods store, art materials, restaurants, laundry, coffeehouses, video rental, and vintage clothing boutiques. Professional and comfortable live/work environment. Stunning rooftop views. Near the Morgan L-train stop. This is a perfect studio for an artist on the go as the studio's fully furnished. $2,800 to move in (first, last, deposit ($900) and utilities ($300). Please contact the artloftbrooklyn(at)gmail.com with a short paragraph about yourself for more information.

XXXXX SPECTRE PRIORITY XXXXX

Before we had a name, the Spectre Event Horizon Group used to meet at a bar to commiserate and trade what our business friends like to call best practices. The group has expanded since then, but it remains focused on smartening the crowd mind. There are no subject limits; our favorite is the incredible sci-fi present, or anything that goes toward a better understanding of human behavior and our universe's ecology. Our simple intent is to connect good minds with as much quality mind-blowing information as we can freely locate and create a space for the informal trade of specialized investigative research, presented for the non-specialist.

The Spectre email list, which is a separate group from this column, is a moderated open forum. People are encouraged to join and to post. The list is compiled for Nonsense by J. Sinopoli. Contact us at spectre.event.horizon.group gmail com or spectregroup.org. Here's some of what came in this week:

Cheney Now Has Machine Heart, No Pulse

spectregroup.wordpress.com/2010/07/16/machine-heart-no-pulse/

No Transplant Necessary
youtube.com/watch?v=uoQUc39lnuk

Must Be Plugged in at Night
weblogs.baltimoresun.com/health/2010/07/cheneys_heart_doesnt_missasp.html "What he got was a LVAD, or left ventricular assist device, which is made for people like Cheney who need help pumping blood because their hearts aren’t keeping up. The pump runs something like a drill bit, continuously rotating at 9,000 rotations per minute rather than squeezing and releasing, so Cheney now officially has no pulse, according to Dr. Stuart D. Russell, chief of heart failure and transplantation at Johns Hopkins. In most candidates for the device, the amount of blood squeezed out with each beat is significantly reduced – normal is 55 percent or greater and Cheney was likely more in the 10-15 percent range. That makes the people grow tired quickly after doing minor chores such as dressing. The device requires an energy source, so the people have a line coming out of their skin near their belly that need to be hooked up to a battery fanny-pack during the day -- it can be worn holster-style if Cheney prefers. It also needs to be plugged into an energy source a t night. It can’t get submerged, so wearers can’t swim but they can shower. They also need to take anti-coagulation drugs. They are also at increased risk of infection and gastrointestinal tract infections. Pumps have been around for about three decades, but this version by Thoratech Corp., at about five years old, gives people a 60 percent survival rates after 2 years. Some patients use the device, Russell said, as a bridge to a transplant, but Cheney, at 69, might not be a candidate. In that case it’s a “destination therapy,” meaning this is his treatment destination. But Russell says that he could live 4,5 or 6 years with this pump and new ones already are in development."

Origins of Future Robot Overlord? Or Nearly Dead scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=artificial-heart-power healthcanal.com/surgery-rehabilitation/5759.html talkingpointsmemo.com/archives/2010/07/grim.php "The device is made of smooth titanium and powered by a rotary pumping mechanism with only one moving part. “The Heartmate II is capable of pumping up to 10 liters of blood per minute, covering the full output of a healthy heart. Its smaller size makes it easier to implant and allows use in women and small adults. Weighing approximately 12 ounces and about the size of a D-cell battery, the HeartMate II connects to the heart via a polyester tube that is bored into the left ventricle. "But once you've got an LVAD in place, it means your heart is essentially incapable of working on its own and has no potential to improve.""

HeartMate II
thoratec.com/vad-trials-outcomes/patient-stories/index.aspx thoratec.com/vad-trials-outcomes/in-the-news.aspx

USB Port
medpagetoday.com/Blogs/21197
"The newer model smaller pump is implanted in the chest and has tubes leading to the left ventricle and aorta and another that goes outside the body to connect to a computerized controller. The controller can be worn on the waist and operated by batteries. Using the newest model of LVAD, a person can go about daily activities by carrying with him a couple of sets of battery replacements and then at night connecting the LVAD to a laptop computer that is plugged in to an electrical outlet. Or the person might work at an office or at home with the LVAD plugged through the computer to an electrical outlet. The LVAD has come a long way from the noisy large stationary power sources patients were tethered to. Newer units are smaller, portable for hours, and quieter. But the risks are the same and this device is used as a last resort."

Previously on Spectre : Pacemaker Hack
spectregroup.wordpress.com/2008/08/18/pacemaker-hack/

XXXXX LEARNING XXXXX

We look for the sort of classes you circled in college course catalogs but never managed to fit into your schedule. And we also look for the kind of things that no college could teach. Cheap and eclectic is the rule, though all rules get broken occasionally, and we especially love workshops, round-tables, and teachers who won't take your work out of your hands and show you how to do it right. One-time listings are categorized weekly, with general recurring classes listed at the end on the first Friday of each month. We thrive on your suggestions, so make sure to tell us about upcoming classes that you think are nifty-keen.

Learning is compiled and edited weekly by Libby Sentz. Send listing suggestions, announcements, and corrections to her at libby(at)nonsensenyc.com.

***** LEARNING: SATURDAY *****

Flamethrower Theory and Practice

Have you always wanted a flamethrower, a fire ball shooter, a propane cannon (I think we all know the answer to that) but did not know how to even start making one without killing yourself or ending up in jail? Learn to make super-reliable, safe, terrifying, and exhilarating flame effects with shop manager Leif Krinkle, who still has all of his fingers and no visible scars. There will be tons of probably unnecessary testing at the end of the class.

Madagascar Institute
217 Butler Street, Brooklyn
Noon-5pm (testing that night); $50
madagascarinstitute.com

***** LEARNING: Also on SATURDAY *****

Free Sketching

High Line-commissioned artist Valerie Hegarty leads an open workshop for all ages on sketching the plant life of the High Line. Bring pencils.

Chelsea Market Passage (on The High Line) Between 10th and 11th Avenues and between 15th and 16th Streets Manhattan
11a-1p; $free
212-206-9922
info(at)thehighline.org

***** LEARNING: Also on SATURDAY *****

Free Capoeira in the Park

Capoeira is a lively martial art that originated in Brazil over 450 years ago. Taught by Professor Abará, self-defense techniques are concealed by graceful dance moves and spectacular acrobatics set to music.

Socrates Sculpture Park
32-01 Vernon Boulevard at Broadway
Long Island City
Noon-1:30p weekly; $free
718-956-1819
info(at)socratessculpturepark.org

***** LEARNING: SUNDAY *****

Free Kayaking on the Hudson

Join the Downtown Boathouse for 20-minute instructional paddles, and explore the Hudson River firsthand. Please wear a bathing suit or shorts and a T-shirt, and know how to swim. Weather permitting.

Riverside Park
72nd Street and Hudson River, Manhattan 10a-5p weekly; $free
212-408-0219
zhen.heinemann(at)parks.nyc.gov